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Please Don't Eat the Daisies (1960)
Dated miscast comedy
A lot of movies were made 60-plus years ago, in which ageing leading men actors were still trying to act young.
David Niven must be about 58 or so in this if he is a day, and yet he's acting opposite Doris, a much younger woman. He's obviously too old for her. We're made to believe he's a younger man. I wasn't fooled, despite him wearing what looked like a toupee.
It really is quite ridiculous to see how he behaves. It's not funny and the teaming of him and Doris just doesn't work for me.
The comedy is so dated now. It's embarrassing. Don't get me wrong, Mr Niven was a good actor but he is clearly miscast here.
Avoid.
Ariel Phenomenon (2022)
Disappointing after so many years in production
I've been following this case for nearly three decades. I've been waiting for this documentary for many years also. It's been in production since about 2008, I think.
I cannot believe this is the finished product. Even the story of the aliens landing and the children seeing them and the spaceship isn't told very well.
It's disjointed and so much that could have been in just isn't here.
I would have liked a detailed story of what actually happened in the first 50 minutes of the documentary, and then an analysis of what other people in the UFO scene thought back then and now. Then we could have had interviews of the children back then and now.
But this documentary is all over the place. For some reason which I cannot fathom, the documentary centers on one girl who was at the school and is now a grown woman. She goes back there and her visit, to be honest, isn't interesting. It's what happened back then we're crying out to see and hear.
So much is wasted on her and her mental state. There are some familiar faces of the children then and now. But these interviews are in snippets, short, and don't add much.
There's also a lot spent on the humiliation Dr John Mack suffered but why put this in? Surely it would have been better to keep this out. Don't harm the man's reputation needlessly. Don't question it. Praise him. It's not the duty of this documentary to state the alien landing did not happen. That it was a dream of some sort. It's not the duty to say Dr Mack was stupid to believe it. Children don't lie.
All in all, a disappointing documentary. I'd waited so long and the best things in it are the interviews with the children, nearly 30 years ago.
Crack in the World (1965)
Vastly overrated and now dated movie
It took me several days to get through this movie. It's aged badly. I stopped and started it, and went back to it several times. Sorry, but I found it dull. And yet I wanted to finish it but at times I wanted to give up. It's a good plot but the story is bogged down with this boring romance love triangle with an old man, a young woman, and a relatively young guy. I'd only give it 3/10. Quite dull and a waste of the actors' talents. Vastly overrated.
6 Underground (2019)
A bad cartoon mess
Every good action thriller has a great car chase but when the opening car chase exceeds 20 minutes, then it's not a thriller but a cartoon.
This movie's action is just in your face all the time. It's meaningless CGI. The cast is annoying. The humour is annoying. Just utter garbage all around.
Innocent people are killed and it's just considered a joke. The CGI is over the top. I was half expecting the cars to take off and go into outer space.
Avoid if you're after a movie with at least some substance. Or better still, just watch a bunch of cartoons.
Let the Wrong One In (2021)
At last something worth watching
I've spent many weeks looking for a new horror movie to watch that I can actually enjoy.
So much garbage is being made these days, it's painful for the eyes.
That's why I normally watch old films because then I know they'll be worth viewing.
But something about this film struck me before I even watched it and that was the play on title, Let the WRONG One In. Haha.
This film is a little gem. Excellent humour and brilliant knockabout stuff. All the cast are brilliant. Nothing is forced, it just happens naturally.
I don't usually like horror comedies as the humour often doesn't work. But yes, this is a fun watch definitely. I'd say this is a 6/10 film but I am gonna bump that score up to 8/10, because it deserves it, holding my attention and I enjoyed it.
Bloody Hell (2020)
Vastly overrated trash
It's a sad fact that filmmaking standards have fallen so low these days, trash like Bloody Hell is considered a 10/10 film.
As someone said in another review, this movie starts to annoy you the moment it begins. The main character talking to himself and the irritating cameramen - I dislike this film. It was horrid.
It's trying to be something different but it's just the pits. The whole plot revolves around this unlikeable guy. I don't care what happens to him, or what happens in the film.
I was clock-watching throughout. I couldn't actually finish it. I bowed out at 55 minutes and fast forward to the end. I least I saved 40 minutes of my life.
Red Planet (2000)
Cheesy, no surprises lame movie
This is a really lame movie, high on special effects but low on content.
The characters and ending are as expected. No surprises and very cheesy.
Just like the red shirts in old Star Trek episodes, whose faces you've not seen before, you know they're going to die and the stars of the show always live.
I wanted to like this movie but it falls short of anything really exciting. It deserved a better ending.
Torture Garden (1967)
One of my fav horror movies
Liked this film since I was a child, and I make a point of watching it every Spring and Summer. Don't ask me why. Haha.
I think most people are in agreement that the first and last stories are the best, but I also like the second. The third story about the piano confuses me. It's fairly weak and I would have thought more effort would have been made to write a better story. Maybe about a vampire, zombie, or werewolf. For a writer than wouldn't be too difficult, since it would be a short story.
But all in all, yes, love Torture Garden.
The Monster Squad (1987)
Overrated movie full of annoying kids
Just started watching Monster Squad for the first time and no wonder it was a flop when it was released.
This movie is lame. Full of annoying kid actors with big mouths. The monsters look good but they are wasted among a dire script and those annoying kids.
I gave the movie 2 out ot 10 based on the fact they tried with the monsters, but everything else falls flat.
Sorry, I quit the movie 45 minutes in. But I laugh at all those 50-year-olds who still think this movie is great. I couldn't find one rant review on YouTube of this dross. Nobody wants to be seen not to like it.
The Emperor's New Clothes.
Ghost Stories (2017)
An overrated pile of trash
I have been viewing a lot of YouTube reviews of this movie and I thought 'yeah, it sounds great'.
Upon watching it I was annoyed by it in only the first few minutes. Andy Nyman is one of the worst actors I have seen. He's cast here as a professor. That's a joke. More like a janitor.
The initial scenes of him talking into the camera were so annoying, and then when he visits that 'old man' who you can clearly see is badly made up to look old.
The whole film has a 'comedy' line running through it which is not funny nor does it add to the movie.
I stopped and started this film many times but eventually quit it with half an hour to go. The so-called top reviewers on YouTube who praise this pile of trash seriously need to watch a good HORROR film then they'd know what trash is from an awesome one.
NOT recommended.
Scare Me (2020)
Terrible movie. Avoid
So here's me thinking this was going to be an anthology horror. Two people telling horror stories to each other. Acted out in about five short stories. With a cast of players.
Think again. This awful film only has the two actors in it. Actually verbally telling stories. I switched off as fast as I could. Avoid.
American Psycho (2000)
Dull and badly acted
First of all I love horror films. And I don't recall seeing this one before.
But midway through it, I did remember. How bad it was. How boring it was. And how cringing the dire performance by Christian Bale was.
He seemed to have adopted a Jim Carrey persona. While Jim is funny. Bale is not. The mannerisms, the voice, everything sucks about Bale.
And the story? What story. There is none. It's just a collection of disjointed scenes, mixed with violence and murder - to quote Shakespeare - 'signifying nothing.'
Also, Bale is only 26 in this movie. At times he looks mid 40s.
It's a pile of trash I would not recommend to my worst enemy. One of the most overrated films of all time.
Just 1/10 and I am being generous.
La La Land (2016)
Truly awful and amateurish
After getting over the fact neither of the two actors in this movie deserve leading roles, I steeled myself to watch this movie and thought I'd give it the benefit of the doubt.
The movie starts with a song and dance on the freeway and everyone getting out of their vehicles and dancing and singing together. Sadly this was supposed to be one of the highlights of the movie. As I said I tried to give it the benefit of the doubt but the first song was forgettable, boring and the voices weak. The dancing looked extremely forced and clumsy.
As the movie progressed I couldn't believe how bad it actually was. I don't know anything about Ryan Gosling other than he is no leading man in my view. Contrary to what others would have you believe, he is not handsome. Eyes too close together, a very long face and a perpetual gormless look. Emma Stone isn't much better.
It was actually very difficult to watch the entire movie. It's slow and amateurish and looks like it was directed by a 15 year old. The sets look cheap and the whole thing made on a budget of $500.
It also seemed like it was made in the late 1970s. A TV musical. Wholly forgettable. HIGHLY overrated. Madly so, it's criminal.
Avoid, unless you're being paid well by someone to say it's great.