Reviews

I'd say it has a 3-story structure, roughly every 30 minute some major thing happens. And no, it never turns into full xxx territory. Also, the cat-thing is not rly a fetish, but a persona-thing, but later it even gets an in-universe explanation. Every chapter gives more in-universe lore/worldbuilding, but I don't think we should exclusively concentrate on that.

The first chapter is about this blond woman moving in from a small town to the big city of LA. Has little money and the city is expensive, so she settles for an area of dubious reputiation, full of weirdos. At least there doesn't seem to be violence around. Then she goes to work, and I'd swear this is full-fledge satire, and she is realising her "normal life" is full of weird people too (this later gets an in-universe background established too, but again, I don't think that applies for this chapter), so when she goes home, and the cat-person visits her, she just absent-mindedly sits down to pet it, and realises, there's nothing wrong with the other residents, they are not harming anyone, so might as well just go with the flow. In the end she gets into a ... relation with the cat-person, and it's fine. Also, there is this carrier who shows up time to time bringing in pre-paid reasonably expensive gifts (like a big bucket of ice-cream and stuff). We, the audience obviously know cat-person is sending these.

I thought the movie will be just that now, but it's not. For the next half an hour we start to concentrate on this drug-producing criminal organisation, which gets hit with incrised frequency. There is no rival gang, and tbh none is actualy interrested to shut them down, so they are really questioning what is going on. We the audience obviously suspect at least, it is the work of cat-person, who is kinda inspired by DC's Cat-Woman.

The third act is where every subplot is closing down: the workplace, the neighbours, the carrier-guy, and of course the big finalé: the maffia vs Baby Cat. Protagnoist and Baby Cat1s relationship is in turmoil, the kinda Super Mario-level incompetent maffia-henchmen kidnap protagonist instead of cat-person, who goes onto the rescue. Turns out she became this way as side-effect of some military superhero project, so while it is obviously this kinda-fetish thing, in-universe she has this kinda tragic backstory, establishing it's not her choice, but inevitably she is just this. Which is kinda eduational when you think about it.

Of course Maffia Boss (who only now gets a face-reveal, unlike Subhuman: the Amityville Experiment, which botches doing so) gets the super-serum too... With unexpected consequences.

But in the end everything turns out fine, I mean the bad people are arrested, protagonist gets out unharmed, the government project is shut down, and Blondy + Baby Cat's relationship comes to get cleared out.

You know, totaly safe park, robots coming to their conscious, flesh&bone humans trying to save their lives.

This also pays omage to various other movies, like Temrinator, or Kindergarten Cop.

And despite the short runtime, it has a pretty high (PG-friendly) body-count .

What I don't like is the founding situation, why the robots turn agressive, aside "The Game" is ow not just running from a central server, but individualy dowloaded to every robot.

Plus the poster-robots design is weak tbh, especialy compared to the regular autons.

If this were an episode of some sequential shorts, the plothole would be forgiveable, also what I thought is a hostage-situation. These elements strongyl weaken the flick.

This piece of junk starts off incoherent, and will not become better later.

It babbles contradicting plot-elements, like they rewrote the script a thousand times, but never cleaned it. Like was the guy at the beginning flayed, suffocated, or shot? The film claimes all three. And that's just the start of the row of inconsistencies this junk is.

It also tries to throw pixie-dust in your eyes with some lovecraftian-looking sentences, but after the 30 minutes mark the "movie", where the protagonist is literaly names Chris(t), unveils it is nothing else but christian propaganda, where Biblegod is fighting the emerging Satan, which hates humans and God.

I overrated this by the general eye, it's more close to maybe a 5/10, if you come with a normal mind.

The film is a proper sequel to Twisted Pair, at least by characters - the CEO- and housewife-elimination is not emphacised that much -, has a strong start (maybe 20 minutes, I'm just eyeballing though), and an action-packed finale (yes, it's not good action, but action nontheless, and some things are well-paced in it), but the middle-portion is just dull, repetitive, and an editor's nightmare with characters dying but still living, people kidnapped form the Asylum to be brought to the Asylum... Continuity is also out of the window, Ed Wood's Plan 9-style. You have been warned.

And while the whole thing looks like an FMV-game, and the cgi degenrates almost to Amasing Bulk levels, at least the story is easy to follow.

And that's a serious problem, because the story is paper-thin and detail-less. Them doing the experimental experiments on the experimental subjects was previously covered by the weird stuff: moving skulls, baby-doll-heads, fairies, tigers - but as Neil got better, and made more films, we could deciphere the symbolism (I told tiger symbolises women, so our group had no WTF-reaction at that scene), and the broken pieces got less broken, revealing a very basic level story. And when two-third of your movie is stepping in place, that becomes boring.

There were some other stuff, like how out-of-character was the tram hitting Cade, or how Birdemic-like was that at times the audio simply was not there (Neil never did such mistake before), but I still recommend this as his "best", most accessible film (especialy if you are ok to sit through the prequel too), but I can't imagine the next film being a new hit at new hights.

The guy is bringing in too much bad publicity, and even though he did here a decent job, he is no lnger worth keeping, and THIS MOVIE IS THE PERFECT SANDOFF OF THE ACTOR (watch the ending!).

I very much hope on the other hand this film doesn't get the unfair treatment just for him, because this is a darn good superhero action-movie, which even renews the time-traveling genre! It's simple, elegant, funny, the jokes are not at the expense of the tension, Mr. Keaton was not another Harrison Ford - way to old person coming back for a paycheck and runing old franchises -, cinematography is great, music is good, editing is worthy, and the fight-coreographies are excellent.

Sure, the DCEU might not have the budget as the MCU - but I prefer a good story any time over overexpensive - and still crappy - CGI.

I even hope Sasha Calle will be invited to reprise her role. The reviewers all forget about this new, upcoming talent, and she has what it'd take to draw me in, and I'm not (just) talking about eyecandy, plus she is anything but the next Brie Larson or Tatiana Maslany when it comes to PR.

There is the foundation for some youngsetr-adventure, but this script is either writte4n by an AI, or someone who should be banned from writing scripts.

The basic is, some kiddo wants to go to some crater. What is there? Nothing.

But you know what is everywhere? Oxygen.

Then you have plenty of Talking Faces In A Room. What am I watching - The Asylum? No, The Asylum does this better, because between the talking-in-rooms there are crazy things. Here: just blatant absurdity.

There is no reason why anyone in this film do anything, and what they do shouldn't work. The worldbuilding is the worst I've ever seen. On top of it that's not how physics work. That's not how anything works, really.

Finaly, there is the racism. Every coloured person in this product has disability. This is how Disney tells you, they are lower race, I can't figure out otherwise.

This is just bad. Frighteningly bad. There is no message, theme, any kind of coherency, really. I suspect AI-generated content, how alien this is to me. So deep in uncanny valley, it's absurd. This is why HPL-protagonists go mad.

After the recent rollout of Full Moon with Mislatonic U, Baby Oopsie, Don't Let Her In, and even The Twelve Slays of Christmass, I thought the company is right on track.

Then we got the Cranage Collection - clipshow products without even a framing device. Just random clips from actual movies - what's up with those?

Then we got Murderbot/Killbots. No idea on the plural, there is only 1 temrinator-clone slasher-robot-monster, and sloppy storytelling, plus a very old Eric Roberts lookalike.

The best part of this conondrum is Dare Taylor, who seemed to take some acting lessons even - too bad she is killed so soon. Or at all.

The setup for this short is, that while the zombie-virus takes over your body, it leaves your mind pretty much unaltered. It makes your body move without you willing it, like some phobia making you sweat and jump, or twitching. How could you live with this, trapped in your own body?

And even with the limited runtime, they manage to pull off a good handful of situations playing it to full satisfaction of the audience.

While the technical side is pretty amateurish (oversharpened 400K digital shots, some amateur atcting), the script is actualy good and funny, and while it pulls a classic trope at a point, the pacing helps getting over even that.

This callls it "Valerian Star Tournament", while the core anime refers to its own league by some other title, but who cares in the end, it's the same thing.

And without this miniseries we'd have again no connection to the weight of the championship, so it's canon is though a bit flimsy, it's perfectly acceptable, because it is needed to give the necessary weight to the core anime.

The first seven episode culminates in a certain poke-battle, nothing specific with its own value, but it still builds character for Leon adequately, so it's actualy good storytelling, even with some weaker/filler episodes, to give him - and the others - to create the World Cup League.

As usual, this spinoff/sideshow is better than the core, and rly not that long.

Face it, this is nothing but rleigious nonsense.

Sure, the crators of SP a lot of times call attention to how ridiculous religions tend to work - but they never questioned their whole existence.

Here they do that to atheism, and not just that, but hughly misrepresent atheism, making it causing global war, ony answer to The Big Questioon, what is nonsense, overused apologetic lie. Atheism never provided any answers, just dismissed false claims, .There's also the anti-science attitude of the religious comminuty in this one, transforming athism to the fictious "scientism", equaling not just atheism, but also the whole of science to religions, and thus dismissing both on this false ground.

The episode is also obvious ripoff of the Life of Brian (from Monty Python), and by the wholehearted rejection of atheism (and science) also antisemitic, and not just mocking jews, like through Kyle, but rejecting judaism wholesale, declaring it as something to be eradicated.

And as good religious folk, for the final scene they just confuse everyone with that scene, where War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength, Christianity if Atheism, and Atheism is Christianity.

I was just running through the films of the best shaped bodybuilder of all time, just trying to spot her, but this movie got me.

I'm not the first one to get hooked by romantic movies, but I'm fond of a good lighthearted comedic romantic movie, those are always special.

This somehow catched me, and I love when that happens.

And as the film pointed it out in the very end, the fact that like all the characters were gay in this one, didn't matter at all. These were just people trying to figure out life, themselves, everything, to the point the two main character boggled into a semi-hetero relationship with each other, and it was about figruing out what this is, where their carreer is, and the big questions of life in general.

This was funny without telling jokes, it was just heartwarming.

Very good structure, great acting, good atmosphere.

Classic cinema.

Sure, this was always to be a cheesey giantess-fetish film, and Jed Rowan (The Amazing Bulk) guarantees some slocky quality. But in its genre it achieved greatness.

The story starts with a recap of the first movie, which you don't need to watch to understand what's going on here. Point is, Frida and Deidre got the superpower to grow big, but they squandered this ability to no good, but now someone sends in Mecha-Fembot to cause mayhem out of revenge, thus they need to return.

There are some sublots, running jokes and more in this 1 hour kaiju-flick, and all comes together using the best of traditions.

The crew is good at the angles, there are plenty of models to be destroyed, and while the cgi is admittedly cheap, fits in the visuals.

The pacing is good, the acting is cheesy, the humor is funny. Worth at least 8/10.

One: the movie is supposed to start with a mass-killing. This never happened.

Two: the lazyness of picking stock-soundeffects is at a new low.

Three: the movie" is made almost entirely from talking heads. Empty heads. Even the djinni is dumb as heck.

The cinematography is blans, the lighting is atrociously bland and too bright.

There are unreasonable cartoon drop-ins, wooden acting, and only 1 toilet for an entire campus they use with their trousers up. They also do no do second takes, and they are worse at first takes than Steven Seagal.

The "egyptian ouija-board" is cool though, and they manage the crew to not be seen in sunglasses-reflection.

So very few lighthearted comedy we see today, and this is not just a good fetish-film, but a solid product in general.

The 50 Foot Camgirl had one flaw for me: everyone was nasty. Here the Original Camgirl is relatable, in a position she can do a heroin's journey.

Then we have some good twists and turns in the script. Nothing complicated, but good and twist. Also, the casting was great, especialy for Anna, the dominatrix attitude perfectly fit here.

The lighting and camrea-work is solid too, we get the promised fights, some romantic stuff, and even the cameo-characters work in their low-budget way, pushing the movie forward.

There were plenty of puns and jokes, I have no complaints.

This short is proof you can make a short which has beginning, middle, end, and makes sense.

It's a satire, mostly consisting a stage-play (Emperor Static is great on stage), and some behind-the-scene drama.

The stage is all about puns, which the critic can not tolerate, but is the only one present, the director is obviously not good, but telling him... This is where characterisation comes into play, and we do have memorable characters with different agendas.

The directing is good, the script is great, the acting is servisable (especialy Mel, plus we have a great reaction-shot from an extra). This is a humorous quarter of an hour, totaly recommended.

Whatever abomination were most of the for-the-rights films were, this is a breath of fresh air. Still a bit long, 10-15 minutes could have been dropped for a thighter pacing, but it was ok.

The creature-designs were magnificient though, too bad they not used a slimer, but given the overal experience, the step-by-step reveal and the lightings, it's a minor point (for now).

The casting is fine, especialy the lead, but to be honest I was way more interrested in what is supposed to be the secondary plot. I'm intrigued to get a HR-movie where the protagonist is not just some bumbling fool stumbling into the puzzlebox, or some evil person trying tp abuse its power, but someone who will accept it - and won't regret it. But what's here is still better than them being punishment of God, or trying to conquere the world.

All in all, this is a fun one. Enough to sell some merch, and pique interrest for another one.

Seagal's contract with Sony started to run out, so he went back to Nu Image/Millennium films for one more movie. This means the script is better, the cinematography is better, and they tried to use Seagal more.

The problem is, Seagal realy picked up bad habbits: arriving late, leaving unauncedly, and generaly being fat, as well as becoming more and more disinterrested.

Though for his credit, it seems with guaranteed income lowing out, he maybe went to the gym for this one. I screenshotted him from every momvie, and he does that at those occasions.

Now onto point: Seagal is fat. He probably has conditions related to that, and his work-ethic is garbage. So the studio had very little material of Seagal to work with. They tried to work around this be repeated shots and fast cuts - but this went to the point is can induce seasure.

You have been warned. Oh, yes, and the rumour is true, Seagal for like the second time is ripping off Se7en.

Not even in the funny way. In chronological order Seagal did his best run at WB, but for creative differences drifted to Nu Image - also tipped his to into Franchise Pictures -, which was mid-budget hit-and-miss, but it was at least occasionaly funny and entertaining.

Somehow though the Sensei shifted to Sony, and they shot the most boring, generic, soulless movies you can every watch. "Soulless" also ment quazi-literaly, as the protagonists' ... religion depends on the producing company for big companies, or seemingly the lead (for Nu Image Seagal's characters manage to be presented as buddhist, when Seagal doesn't push his native american background), but for Sony there are o characters. Like at all.

Can't wait the dude again switch company, because this does not work.

The movie is about a pregnant woman "threatened" by some leftist dude - who she split ages ago by the way - "threatening" her with abortion (not sure how this work in King's mind, but whatever).

In the end the lady gets out of the place, marries her brother, and becomes a good old gawd-fearing inbread religious-right-wing family.

All this of vourse only after more than a hundred minutes of shouting each others name in some cgi grass, while it is painfully obvious when King ripped of various sources, like Cube and Hypercube, or The Happening by Mid Night Shyamalan. Oh, how I was waiting to use this lame joke.

On 1,500 million HUF this movie generated 60 million if I am generous. Rise your hands if you'd get away with this at your company. You wouldn't, and we all know that. You would be fired.

The quality/price ratio wouldn't be too bad - if this thing had been made in Hollywood. It'd even generate some profit in the USA itself. But this was NOT made in the USA. This was made in a third-world putinist dictatorship, so it can't even be sold to any foreign market.

So why was this made, and mad ein the middle of a global pandemic even, somehow, while everyone else sat in quarantine.

But dude, you created less than 200 million HUF on a 900 million budget. In USD with hugh generosity.2.5 million budget produced half a million income, what's 20% of the cost.

How do you still have a job? Why isn't the whole hungarian movie industry a big scandal already, when this is the "normal" behaviour there?

A propaganda-movie how the "clearly superior" hungarian father saves from the grip of leftist romanians his ethnicaly clean son before they iirrevocably corrupt him.

The film tells you - financed by the hungarian dictatorship - that the Global Climat Change is simply in the head of leftists liberal communist materialist satanic athiests' mind, it's not real.

I, as a hungarian citizen (though I have doubt since the Alaptörvény says otherwise to non-christians) demand to know what amount of tax-money went into this, and why none is persecuted for the failor to create a profit at the very least!