Reviews

104 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
Night Swim (2024)
4/10
Thirsty Anyone?
6 January 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Ray Waller (Black Mirror, Overlord) moves his family to a house with the incentive being a swimming pool in the yard that seemingly has a ghostly pull.

This pg-13 movie opens with the death of a small Asian child in a pool that reminds of films like the 80s movie "House", mixed with "It", mixed with "Dark Water", "Amityville Horror", with a dash of "Poltergiest", "The Shining", And so on.

We soon learn that the swimming pool is here to confuse, ruin, and cause pg-13 havoc in just about everyone's day. If it's not trying to drown neighborhood children or spoiling pool parties with murderous pranks, it's water is consuming family pets and sticking host to the family Dad.

We soon learn of a murderous path of destruction sprinkled through out the swimming pool's past seems to circulate around this swimming pool as a party-favor the family friend and realtor/landlord neglected to tell the family in time.

This leads to a narrative plateau where we learn the Asian little girl from the film's intro name-dropped her family to be seeked out help concerning the swimming pool's current tenants Ray Waller, his wife & children.

They track down an old lady who is related to the little Asian girl that is seemingly addicted to medically consuming the water affiliated with the pool & the film's namesake along with the Father.

A fight ensues around the pool and all is well. The film being pg-13 can never truly explore it's themes without spoonfeeding it's pg-13 audience too many details for a rated R film.

As a result the film never really rises above surface level. The plot is forced & shallow. Though slightly entertaining it feels like a B-Movie due to the juvenile qualities of the plot. Ultimately the rating is what prevented this from being truly something to uncover and the writing and effects don't deliver much to make up for it.

It wishes it was J-Horror, but instead is kind of just a morbid curiosity to be had. Enjoy if you like Lifetimey absurdist thrillers. It's more of a lite version of what it set out to be, and feels more like an episode for an anthology rather than a fully-bodied horror.
2 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (2023 Video Game)
8/10
Fun Tribute Game, and then some!
25 August 2023
I love the Texas Chain Saw Massacre 1974 and this game is a fun addition to the lore of the old films.

Kane Hodder as Leatherface, can't go wrong there.

Scout Taylor Compton (RZ's Halloween) plays Julie and also serves as motion-capture for all of the female survivors. That detail is fun for horror fans like me because you can play as one of 3 fictional TCM scream queen (victims), and one is voiced by Scout herself.

The setting borrows the tunnels from the second TCM film & the house from the first film in a juxtaposition, of a familiar looking atmosphere to traverse, for the gameplay and navigation.

Victims start the match after hearing the audio of a harrowing mystery crime case that plays during the loading screens which continuously adds story context to the murder mystery all players are engulphed in.

Once the victim frees themselves the hunt and chase is on. As a survivor you have to scavenge for bone scraps, screwdrivers, and health bottles to make your way towards more key items that will unlock final exits for the victims.

All while Leatherface (a mandatory player for the Family side, 3 against 4, 3 killers, 4 survivors) and his "Family" is chasing victims through wall crevices, traps, and the chaotic scattershot of sandbox objectives in order to build an escape as a victim.

Now, I personally love Dead By Daylight, I enjoyed Resident Evil Resistance, couldn't really get in to Evil Dead The Game, and wished Friday the 13th got the help it deserved. So with that said, this game surprised me for being a film-tie-in.

Any online game like this takes time, practice, and patience before you get the hang of things. As much as I love Dead by Daylight, TCM the game makes it look rather dated and simplistic.

Though not perfect, the matchmaking is still rough. If not enough players join the lobby, it counts down anyway. Then Leatherface is required as one of the 3 Killers. Victims can be swapped amongst players, but unlike DBD nobody can share the same character per round. This makes for some dodgy Lobby experiences where you may not even get a Killer who wants to play Leatherface, or a D/c because someone didn't want to swap Victims. I hope matchmaking improves. They could also add more outfits & cosmetics.

With that aside, this game is a fun tribute game, I just recommend you research survival tips or at least learn the characters and the basics to ward off any instant frustrations one might have. Online games move rather quickly once everyone is up to speed.

This game packs a thrill that is designed with respect to the source material, right down to references about star signs. It echoes the lore in a presentation of previous murder mystery intended to broaden the universe. I'm surprised at how it manages to succeed, it will just be interesting to see if it's willing to survive.

I'm glad they spent some time on this to make it special.
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Captive (II) (2023)
3/10
Unintentional Cheese?..or was it?
23 July 2023
I didn't hate this but didn't love it either. If you want a truly scary Vampire flick, this one ain't it. This one is pure non-serious camp and cheese. I wouldn't say for that reason that it's bad, because it still entertains. It's just lackluster.

It's not self-aware enough to be a horror-comedy, and not amusing enough to be an intentional one. It's billed on Tubi as a Horror Thriller. But it's not dark nor thrilling enough to ever be scary, or frightful, it doesn't even try.

And though there is a twist at the end that I won't reveal (i liked the twist), the acting is never convincing enough to consider this a true Thriller. But, - it does have a little bit of cheap fun while it tries.

This is mostly a film to showcase Scout Taylor Compton in a new role and she actually does quite well with the material despite it being a thinly written character along with the rest of the bag.

Everything about this movie is sub-par cheese. From the chunky metal-chords of the opening theme song, to the low budget CGI of the title card and unconvincing acting.

The film didn't begin to pick up my attention much until half way through the runtime. After the 30 something year old Scooby Doo gang is established It becomes rather tongue in cheek while remaining corny through out, but ultimately things do develop towards a twist.

Scout did well as the 'girl who wants more' who transforms along in-to more. But the film's limitations head to an interesting plot twist that deserved a better movie.

Overall this held my attention but the development was obviously low budget. The "action" scenes were shot and edited kind of poor. Certainly not the worst I've seen, but the music through out most of the film is beyond corn, and does indeed ruin all seriousness, and it really deflates an otherwise decent atmosphere. The music and editing deflates the efforts of the actors in some scenes. They missed the mark in many ways to truly deepen this as a genre film.

Had this been sharply edited, more artisticly shot, with better music, and the acting just a pinch more convincing, it could have been a modern masterpiece.

I would have to say Scout is the best part because she plays a dual role well here, and has fine-tuned her nuance. It's too bad they couldn't spend more money on production and gore because the aesthetic of their shooting location could have called for more.

This is a Charles Manson-y, Hollywood Hills-y, Cult-y Vamp flick that could have used a boost. But for Tubi's Cheesy portal of free specials.. it's okay. Check it out at your own risk. It does have Scout in a bathing suit and mini skirt playing one of her best kinds of roles. She was the stand out.
5 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Baby Blue (2023)
7/10
Fresh Audacity.
9 July 2023
I thought this was fun to watch! And entertaining enough to sustain my attention, draw me in, and engage the horror trivia fan in me. Especially since the film's horror references were right down my alley.

The aesthetic, editing, acting, writing, and pacing all landed pretty well for me. This was impressive quality suspense in some respects, with a pretty consistent uphold, though the genre does blend & vary.

It's a fresh hybrid at a break-neck pace that uses simple and done-before tropes and contrivances with such earnest tribute for storytelling, and quirky acting, that it may suspend your disbelief just enough to enjoy it.

This is a techno-horror film that references films like 'The Ring', while imitating other films like the original asian 'One Missed Call', & a slew of American horror motifs & references.

This is a modern horror vehicle for a horror film less traveled these days. And it even teeters in to comedy and surrealism. It never tries too hard, and the editing is sharp and neat.

The music drew me in, and the plot twists came with a dose of fun and squirmy suspense.

I would definitely recommend to horror fans who are willing to enjoy a wacky thrill ride, not to be scared, but just to test your knowledge of popular horror tropes seldom seen with this kind of fresh and raw audacity.

Won't blow your mind but it's certainly a bit different compared to much of the modern free nap-fuel out there these days especially in this genre. A crazy dark horror comedy with an edge. Thank you Tubi & the creators.
3 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
4/10
Yikes lol
10 May 2023
As a huge horror fan, the original 80s Evil Dead is still my very favorite from this franchise.

It's the first one that caught me so off guard when I finally first saw it in the early 2000s.

The sequels carried that same kind of mischief.

The cinematography and creativity was a marvel, along with the riveting use of pacing and action, in the old ones despite their cheaper budgets.

Where do I even start with 'Rise'.... I have to say I'm so glad that I postponed seeing this in theaters.

The premise has decent atmosphere, but the script is incredibly low effort. Making the acting lose it's impact pretty fast.

This dragged... and I thought the writing and acting was pretty insignificant.

Example of the script being bad: "Please save me Bethy Boo" ... "Only My Sister Gets To Call Me That." Okay, but is there more plot to this though?

The film starts out promisingly enough, mirroring older similar films, like DEMONS 2, and The Gate. Etc. It knows it wants to be a dreamy dreary dark 80s sort of revival.

Except the characters are basically just plot device for a female-driven story that we've seen a thousand times. Characters are introduced, only to gasp longingly with fear, and then die.

The family doesn't have all around plot armor, which is a decent touch, but nearly nothing is taken advantage of in the story.

Putting it simply, this was a mess of a sequel. But still somehow a step in a decent direction. It needed better writers, better characters, and a screenplay that took advantage of the potential of the material.

The cheesy aspect showed through a lot, but the characters weren't that developed or significant enough for me to care. They really could have benefited from some better characters.

Nice urban setting, lackluster flick. So glad I waited.

"Please save me, Bethy-Boo...." "Only My Sister...Gets to call me that."

Okay... maybe they should have considered a different writer because the script made this piece of schlock seem like a work from Asylum. The production quality of the effects however would beg to differ.

I think I will just hope the next one is better. LOL.
9 out of 22 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Scream VI (2023)
5/10
"Well, the first one was, but the rest sucked."
10 April 2023
This is the first scream film that I didn't care for. From the writing up, it just felt forced & undercooked. I liked some of the aspects of the lore being thrown away, But it just felt contrived and underwhelming. The acting was wishy-washy and unimpressive mostly, and the character-writing didnt do most characters much justice. The plot drags and the reality wears thin. It's like as if only one cop cared, and nobody is calling any other cops to ride in for a second opinion. The characters are just either surrounded by crowds who ignore them, or are stranded together in decrepit bits of the city, and speaking of the city, they barely showed it. All the hype that it takes place in NYC, but was filmed in Canada all hardly matters. In the end it's an overstretched melodrama amongst sisters. The only scene that really had me sitting at attention was the scene that featured Gale Weathers. This is a sequel that is the juice at the bottom of a once fruitful cup, and it's becoming more apparent. The killer reveal was the most laughable yet and the most random & cringey. Not much mystery to unravel because the suspects were either heavy or thin in the plot development, shoveled at the viewer, or some are just tacked on. The way the scream fanbase has gone toxic too makes me wish I had stuck to the first one sooner, and cut ties with this while it's still fresh. But the Scream fan in me couldn't resist watching. However sadly this was the most disappointing one yet. They butchered the characters via the writing nearly out of my interest, and made Ghostface kind of cheesy, irrelevant, and lame. This gave a bad look to the franchise. None of the kills were worth discussing. I wish I had waited to catch this for free on app-streaming. And that's coming from someone who can recite every word of the first film. Try harder.
24 out of 45 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
5/10
Mama-mia, this could have been a-better!
10 April 2023
I was born in the late 80s. So I had a first-hand perspective of being a quintessential 90s kid as far as Nintendo & their Mario releases were concerned.

I used to wake up before 6am to watch the Mario animated series airing alongside the Zelda & Donkey Kong shows.

I used to play & beat the first 3 games & their consecutive Mario World games & other spin-offs. I even like the original Live-Action Mario film a lot still to this day, despite it's varying degree of separation.

This new film I obviously then had to see on the big screen and I honestly got to say I wish I had saved my money and took a nap instead.

Don't get me wrong, I can't hate it, and I won't. It started out so good, with so much potential. And I just feel by the end, it wasn't anything special.

The voice-acting, on nearly all fronts actually took me out of it, and continued to distract me while the movie became one more noisy eruption rampaging through every scene, after another. Toad & Peach were tolerable in their roles. But I couldn't take the voice-acting seriously for Mario, Luigi, & Bowser, Dk, etc.

By the end the noisy nostalgia quickly became almost unbearable and although the fan-service was locked in place, it wasn't enough for me to really care.

This film, particularly towards the end, felt like one for the kids, & true meta nerds, don't get me wrong, but it was just missing good pacing in my opinion, and the voice-acting, I'm sorry to say, butchered what could have been a masterpiece.

The visuals somewhat worked, but the chaotic and rushed story was like a Wizard of Oz acid trip that I actually quite wanted a lot more out of. The stakes weren't high for a Mario movie, the voice-acting was bad... if there's a sequel, I just hope it's a-better.

I can just proclaim that I'm happy that many fans are able to disagree with me and look past any & all perceived weaknesses.

I will just hold closer to the games.
19 out of 38 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
65 (2023)
5/10
A snack-sized dino treat.
12 March 2023
I'm a big Scifi nerd, so naturally, the hype for '65' sent me running to the theaters. My honest opinion, is that I could have waited.

This is a hodge-podge of many films we've already seen for many decades, and not much more. But thats going to be the fun of it for some.

However for me, the "family drama" was quite bloated in the plot. And the dinosaurs are mere decoration.

Everything looks polished, but they just don't make movies like they used to. There's not much replay value here.

Films nowadays are made to entertain a one-time sitting, and this felt like one of those but with little more.

How do I know that? Because this could have been a revolutionary masterpiece, and it frankly wasn't.

I enjoyed seeing the dinosaurs, but those who are saying it was "just okay", do know what they're talking about.

For fans of dinosaur era films, this is still only snack-sized.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
#Float (2022)
1/10
#Tedium
8 February 2023
The other reviews summed this one up well, and all heed a great warning. There's a reason this film found its free home on beloved free TUBI tv.

The acting is so appalling bad and uneven that it's distracting and it takes you right out of it. The stale and lackluster script follows quickly after it, down the drain.

Eventually, it's like they ran out of a script, idea, concept, or plot point all together and just found a tiny shack in the woods and settled.

Characters and actions/motivations are a strange and clumsy mix of confusion and unexplained undercooked contrivances, that lead nowhere. And bizarre decisions take over the plot when the script wears incredibly thin and realizes there isn't one.

This tried to think it was Blair Witch meets The Descent meets generic camping trip gone wrong or something. Except nothing much happens. A vlogger is apparently the main character. Horrible decisions and ignoring the warning signs, are just the start of trouble with this material. The rest of the issues with the plot bleed in to odd production errors/choices and strange camera work.

Throw in a random child, and entirely forgettable deaths (did I forget, or did they just not show anything worth-while I have no clue), and you're left scratching your head wondering why they bothered at all.

Without the # hashtag, I don't see how this succeeds. The film's development and execution is terrible, the actors have zero chemistry together. Its surprising the screenplay made it so far. Avoid unless you want an experiment in #tedium.
13 out of 14 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
M3GAN (2022)
4/10
Terminator was miles better.
7 January 2023
Somewhere in there was a decent movie but I think maybe "M3GAN" must have deleted those files too. Because this was Terminator for TikTok except the Terminator did it way better.

I'm kinda triggered that for the theatrical release they cut all the good stuff out of the movie.. if you've seen any films from the past where a rogue artificial intelligence snaps then you're in store for little else here.

This feels like another doting copy to 'The Terminator', 'Hardware', 'Child's Play', 'Dolly Dearest', or any of the other kinds of killer-robot-doll films...but not as good, and like they edited out all the scares or action.

Here with "M3GAN", we have the wooden girlfriend from 'Get Out' playing guardian to the little girl from 'The Haunting of Hill House', in a world where Alexa rules everything.

An hour and 30 minutes will go by before anything much really happens. It's as if they made a rated-R movie, but then hid the footage from us delivering instead a pg-13 commercial for what was.

In the end it's one part Lifetime other part Terminator for Hulu. If you came for the few moments of dancing that went viral prepare for little else.

It ends decently in only typical killer robot fashion except for theaters it's chopped down to look rated PG. Somewhere in there was a decent movie but I think maybe "M3GAN" must have deleted those files too.
20 out of 42 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
5/10
Invasion of the quiet place cloverfield lane woods
22 December 2022
What you could imagine to be an average or even generic hodge-podge of many other films.

Imagine...What Lies Below in Color out of Space down Lovecraft Lane in The Descent of the Cloverfield woods near the Jaws lake down by the A Quiet Place avenue with an Invasion of the Body Snatchers picnic in the forest of Annihilation with Mortal Kombat 'Get Over Here' cgi thrown in under a Ridley Scott filter.

All great films, but quite obvious when we see newer films like this one 'Significant Other' married to older ideas quite religiously without finding it's own true identity during it's own runtime.

Instead for me this was a one time watch and admittedly a lukewarm and derivative work of fiction, that tries so hard to scramble or withhold the plot points before feeding them back to you that it forgets to ever be truly frightening or exciting in the process.

Once the cat's out of the bag, the writing takes a nosedive that Maika Monroe (the lead girl) can barely salvage. Overall forgettable from the writing up.

The main twists rival something nearly filtered through a watered-down Lifetime B-movie syfy channel film, if that appeals to you at all, but copying just about every notable scifi thriller a tiny bit or excessively in the process, in a bottom of the barrel manner...and in this case not much punch.

Overall I am glad I didn't have to pay to see this. It's an average scramble of a lot of other better films that became famous on their own merits for carving out an identity, ironically the one thing this film was aware it lacked.

The only representative detail I thought was well handled here and seldom seen, was modern adults who don't want any part in a marriage contract.

I can forgive the film as a fictional answer to the concept, nothing more or less. If only the production was more heavily married to its own idea.

As an "Other", not so Significant.
0 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Haunt (I) (2019)
7/10
I liked the Final Girl's tenacity
19 October 2022
It wants to start as a clone of every other run of the mill looking Halloween costume style getaway for a group of young adults.

But graciously unravels in to a bottle-episode with some unique mask-wearing assailants and a great final girl who shows that diligence and tenacity is the key to surviving a decent horror movie.

The gore was enough to disturb, quite realistic in some scenes and a bit pulpy-looking, in the right way.

The masks, costuming, and set design is simplistic and just crude enough to seem intentionally home-made and realistic in it's ominous claustrophobia. In the story it quickly makes you question the safety of the character's environment like most horror films.

Use of red and blue lighting, and a mix of fake horror in eclipse of real horror, makes this feel like a good fun throwback. The ending was a surprise and a nice payoff to the story and final girl.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Two Witches (2021)
5/10
Watch it with a horror friend
19 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This was a film that promised to be somewhat inspired by the likes of Rosemary's Baby meets Suspiria, but more absurd, and filtered through a modern B-movie's authenticity.

There's moments that elevate the seriousness enough to enjoy the immersion of the story, and moments to poke a little fun at it along the way for good funs sake.

It's meant to entertain, and the delivery isn't as weak as low budget fans might expect. It's no diamond in the rough neither.

It cribs heavily from the set design style and character design of Suspiria in numerous scenes, like it promised in the crew's notes prior to release.

It exceeded my expectations as far as schlock and b-movie fun is concerned. Complete with eating babies.
5 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
7/10
Pleasantly surprised
14 October 2022
This is a franchise now that knows every installment in this expanded universe each can offer a different, and yet familiar, surreal take on the Halloween mythos.

It's gone bonkers in probably the best way, to bring this particular trilogy down to a slow boil and consecutive end.

This film felt like another trippy fever-dream where audiences once again get to experience the atmospheric town of Haddonfield and it's favorite residents.

I like how every Halloween movie is like a dream or nightmare that features the same motifs and here is no different.

I even like to imagine that the Rob Zombie remakes or some sequels are in-universe merchandise for the in-universe story.

It's a sense of delightfully intentional deja'vu for me as a fan to view this installment, as if a memory from a prior installment is being vaguely remembered, but only through the now foggy lens of reality this time, and not expanded on in the ways previous installments would dwell on.

Halloween Ends, keeps it simple. It's never going to be the same formula as '79, as this is a series that truly has become an anthology of itself and in a creative way, by folding in on itself like it has, in this Twilight Zone of manners.

Fans got lucky that it's also a passion project that features some of the same original cast & creators.

I liked this film to close out this newer chapter 40 years in, it felt more grounded in reality than some other sequels, and it dared to tread a different path.

Creatively I found this film to be thematically stronger than its two predecessors for showcasing the back end of trauma survival, and giving it an exhale of closure.

It will be cool to see how Michael Myers and the Halloween legacy is resurrected to live on in the future, thanks to it's rules of multiverse continuity.
10 out of 22 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Hellraiser (2022)
6/10
Cenobites walk the catwalk of horror again
7 October 2022
I prefer the original film's climax with Kirsty.

However this film features decent looking Cenobites like they are walking the modeling catwalk of modern horror prosthetics makeup fashion show.

The prosthetics makeup alone is the main focus and looks delicate and intricate. Its nice to see a fresh new design that makes sense for a timeless franchise.

The plot is a very slow-burn venture, that utilizes oldschool sounding music, and story beats that are riddled with scattered and sprawling cliches.

It's fun to watch for the Hellraiser philosophy being revisited here, and the Cenobites do look their best and are the clear highlight.

But with characters that are near throw-aways, it takes a while for the story to build or reach it's depths.

This has all the moving parts of a new franchise bite-sized starter.

I just hope there are more sights in the next one.
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
5/10
Fan Fiction
6 October 2022
This is what I would consider a consumer spin-off fan reboot.

It tackles the original (body dumping) story lore again a bit, which was clever to see if you followed the details that more closely imitates the 'real' events that inspired this which then spawned the Jeepers Creepers horror fantasy.

Then takes it to a bumping horror hound festival that is in frigid temperatures where the actor's breath is visible. It echos back to cheaper more modern funhouse films of the recent past like HellFest, more than it mimics the truly eerie terrifying classic like Jeepers Creepers, though.

This is what happens when a horror film is pressed through the generic and forced revival mode of a cookie-cutter sequel.

It's more parody than ever scary. The Creeper here is obviously not played by the same actor as the three 'cinematic' Creeper films prior. Therefore the performance of the Creeper never fully lands or is utilized with authenticity or fully realized.

With that said, I could still appreciate small bits of this. It's as if the original film is a legend, and this is the juvenile effort to offer merchandise in a self aware manner. It's a novel and neat approach for an offering, it's just weak compared to what the content deserves.

A fun one-time watch but one that reminds you it's never going to be a masterpiece. They also did not acquire the rights to the iconic theme song featured in the original film, but instead made their own.

That's what this is, a fan fiction to offer merch for a tired revival that's fun enough to endure but has flaws you can throw a pickaxe through.

Only made for the fans who want 10% more.
1 out of 9 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
6/10
Exceeded every expectation I had
29 September 2022
What starts as a routine, ambiguous, found footage film, ramps up the tension when it switches in and out of "cinematic" mode. It's as if the perspective jumps from camera to camera to real life in a way that asian technology horror should. The characters bring enough action, intensity, and drama to make this a fun cliche urban legend meets spirits Disturbed popcorn flick. Really enjoyed the relentlessness and fun spooky asian settings. Absolutely exceeded my expectations and sits there with why asian horror is so pulpy and fun. Some viewers noted the derivative nature as a weakness, I actually found it a highlight. It reminded me a bit of early iconic 2000's asian horror like 'Forbidden Siren' and such. The green camera filter and abandoned setting was perfect.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
5/10
Tank Girl meets I Spit On Your Grave.
8 September 2022
Brittany (Jigsaw, What keeps you alive) Allen, manages yet another, brutal performance here, as a coke-addled newly single hoe on the run, who decides to befriend a zombie, and, ultimately re-mother her child in the wake of a zombie-takeover invasion. This is equal parts 'Fido', meets 'Single White Female', lost in a haze of bright, contrasty colors of the desert that will have you wondering if this is more 'Tank Girl', or 'I Spit On Your Grave'. It has the momentum of a 90s movie, until the logic of the plot wears thin. Then out of nowhere there is the ending, which is kind of becoming a modern cliche. Just don't accidentally burn the popcorn.
2 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Mayhem (2017)
6/10
A Corporate Office Satire-Thriller-Horror-Comedy- set in a not too distant future.
23 August 2022
I enjoyed this Steven Yuen / Samara Weaving led corporate office satire tinged with some ambitious thriller horror comedy derailments- set in a not too distant future. It's not everyday that a 'pulpy' movie comes around and this one was a nice effort all around. Nothing to take too serious, and it makes sure of that. A mix of chaos and comedy with a feel-good ending.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Decoys (2004)
4/10
2004: The movie.
22 August 2022
A pink-soaked 2004 movie full of all the fashion and cliches you'd expect from a time-capsule such as this.

Except: and here's the punchline that both helps & hurts the film. The creature makeup is actually great. It's the dated & unessicary CGI that's bad, and actually dates the film...back to a time when CGI was prioritized to be *mixed* in when it didn't have to be.

Had they stuck to creature in-camera shots, and perhaps a better script. This film could be well-remembered today. Instead, it's just another film from the early-2000's with jarring cgi mixed in that detracts from the otherwise realism.

Maybe this is just better left a film just enjoyed and not questioned. I merely think it could have been better, but is fun to see a 2004 film this absurd from a time period long gone.

I liked the practical effects. It's a shame they didn't use more. This had potential, but back in 2004 I hadn't even heard of it.

4 cgi decoys out of 10.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
6/10
Clever answer to 2009's Orphan.
19 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I dug how right from the first second this starts & the first 10+ minutes plus this film moves at a break-neck pace to reintroduce this character to the audience again, while revealing her secrets right off the bat to the audience through plot development/ writing. The clever expository take of the iconic Leena/Esther character; played impressively again by Issabelle Fuhrman was not a let down. She was awesome.

Props to how they spliced together the editing with Esther now that we know her age/s and that the gig is up- (to the audience who followed the previous sequel).

The music and thumpyness of the bass carries her (Fuhrman's) eerie performance perfectly. The audience being in on it with her, only heightens the tension of the suspense right from the get go & Fuhrman handles that perfectly. That exhale carries the rest of the film.

Here it's as if we see or at least know the true Esther now that we're aware of her, and not the (actual) child version of her from the 2009 sequel, that Esther wanted people to see her as.

The writing is super on the nose for her character in order for that to be evident to the viewer, and for the actors to convey, and for me the ensemble nails that dance well.. and although it is obvious Isabelle Fuhrman as an actress has actually aged in to an adult actress it doesn't take away from all the moving parts of the story.

The film then goes off the rails even further in the best Lifetime channel gone awry kinds of ways during the third act in a way that elicits gasps, genuine laughs, suspense and a few thrills to tie up the prequel arc.

I applaud the writers, editors, music composition narrative, and of course the frank and clever performances, namely Fuhrman & Stiles.

This for the most part was fun & held up to my expectations. Fun for people willing to enjoy this crazy soap opera and it's spooky vibes.

I'm hoping to see Isabelle Fuhrman explore other big budget horror roles as well, this was a great vehicle to showcase her maturity as an actor. Good 6/10.
1 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Nope (2022)
7/10
Earth-based Space Western
25 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Make no mistake. This is an earth-based space western!

Think: the intense sound effects of Jurassic Park, mixed with the 'hide and seek' sensibility of Jaws; over a western backdrop. But with a UFO.

The best part is the shots of the hyperrealistic UFO, and the humanity that they imbue it with.

The spoiler/twist is that the flying disc itself is carnivorous, and as far as we see, not manned by any small aliens.

It is simply a carnivorous space vacuum. It can disguise itself as an unmoving cloud, but when it gets hungry it will vacuum up anyone in the desert who looks at it.

It's picky about what it eats, and it can unravel it's physical form in to an abstract mass.

Like Jurassic Park may renew one's interest in dinosaurs, this film may renew one's interest in UFOs.

I had fun watching this on the big screen, which is where it's meant for. This film is meant for people who like to view UFO's, to appreciate their majesty, to realize, they aren't so different from us, after all.
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
6/10
Not enough dinosaurs.
11 June 2022
I read the Jurassic Park books and like all the films, to me this installment leaned more towards feeling like a lite tv pilot to set up a Jurassic live action tv series, or something straight to streaming. There was just something missing. Not enough dinosaurs. Too many characters doing unrealistic things. Side characters that just vanish from the plot and are never addressed again. Iconic signature legacy characters simply trying to deliver their best most familiar recap of their character. The action and carnage was weaker this time around. Navigation of the plot is all over the place. The writing has its corny rushed moments. This film nearly crumbles under the weight of its previous films loose ends and baggage. It tries to be its own thing but staggers through a muddy forced espionage story. Dinosaurs are swept away to the sidelines as background details and decorations who pop up once in a while to say 'boo'. Our human characters aren't interesting nor developed enough while juggling numerous groups of them as characters. This feels like damage control from Fallen Kingdom tanking half this movie. All we see here is a few more of the same familiar thrills and chills, but less epic, and with less to tell. Everything is so rushed with so many sprawling story beats, there's no moment to really soak in the suspense, dread, or beauty of a dinosaur. The writing and excuse to gather the gangs of characters together feels contrived. More of the same. Fun to watch, but underwhelming. I can just say I'm relieved the second trilogy is over. I only hope the next one finds a way.
0 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Men (2022)
5/10
Very slow first half with a third act money shot.
7 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I loved Annihilation, and Ex Machina was a fresh step too.

On one page this is a film that works as a successful story about overcoming trauma, in a way thats well told. This anchors the story, and it's not as cliche as it could have been.

This film is very slow, I mean it reaalllly drags. You've been warned. It's clear they found a nice landscape to enrich these themes for filming. But the story lacks suspense, progression or horror leading up to the novelty of the "money shot" of the third act.

If they made this more scary or entertaining, maybe with a faster pace, I believe this film would have garnered a lot more attention. But instead, this one could have gone straight to Hulu.

Spoilers: This is a film that represents the toxic repetitive cycle of a shape-shifting monster. A creature that can be any person, dressed in any way, disguised by any religion, demeanor, or age. But in this case the creature desperately tries to disguise as a man, almost in metaphor. When our heroine inflicts damage on the monster, it reveals to carry those wounds through every self-pregnancy.

There is one scene, I will call the "money shot". Same with the end of Annihilation, we have a scene that makes your jaw drop.

I won't comment on the gender themes because I feel the film tells that story itself on the straight and narrow. The ending, other than the "money shot" was lackluster.

This film could have been sooo much better. The third act made up for the boring bits. Watch at your own risk.
5 out of 12 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Dual (2022)
6/10
Not even a clone likes our forced society as humans.
28 May 2022
In a way it's a satire that says; not even a clone likes our forced society as humans. I enjoyed this film, but I have to admit the ending didn't really drop the impact I was hoping for. Overall Karen does not disappoint and though I found the story a bit trite in parts, I appreciated the overall metaphors of looking oneself in the mirror. I appreciated little bits about this surreal nightmare.
4 out of 9 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
An error has occured. Please try again.

Recently Viewed