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Reviews
Snowden (2016)
A well acted but slowly paced drama
JGL is great and performed the voice and characteristics in Snowden extremely well. Certain subtleties in his performance added another diverse performance to his track list and one to mine. Unfortunately for most the movie, not a lot, or not enough happens. There are a solid amount of clichéd elements and scenes that took away from what could have been a more immersive and tension filled scene/experience. The soundtrack, while mainly absent throughout the film, was great and was able to evoke character and audience emotion(s) when one of the scores swells up, mainly when a scene of tension is done correctly. Shailene Woodly was surprisingly good, and was able to pull of her character extremely well. That ended up making it where her character was able to play of of JGL character. This movie is a great character study, but an OK, clichéd, and kind of boring Spy/Espionage movie. But i cant say i wasn't extremely immersed at some points and I think its worth a watch at matinée price. 6/10
Unfriended (2014)
A boring, unscary, stupid, and barely unintentionally funny movie
Unfriended is unbearable except a few unitntentionally funny movie. Other than that, its boring, filled with dumb characters, illogical, and most of all not scary.The movie has terrible CHARACTERS that you can't root for due to them all being self loathing douchey middle class white children. The movie puts things in just to forget about them like the screen share. Might as well not type in secret as everyone sees what your typing BLAIRE. Not only do the characters do the opposite of realism but they are the biggest idiots when it comes to using computers who will gawk with their mouth open at a computer screen. If I wanted to see that, I would just turn on my webcam. The film presents itself as original but it is so predictable and unconvincing. Many people PRAISE this film for using real websites like Youtube and LiveLeak. But if they are going for realism, they should probably look into how these type of things work. A video telling someone to kill themselves wouldn't be view-able very long before it gets flagged and removed for bullying and harassment; as that is one of the most enforced policies. As evidenced by the fact that this promo video uploaded to Youtube got flagged and removed. Look how much this film de-legitimized its own plot. The film tries to go for shuttle scares by showing off a blender for salsa, characters doing demon voices and saying they are all going to hell for being bad kids, and characters pretending to be possessed. But there is no subtleties when it is forcing as much as it can. Such as them not being able to forward, website links changing and more stupid stuff like that.Also the audio mixing with stock footage is so annoying, like they couldn't even add a distortion so it has the same quality as the computer microphone as that is how they are hearing. the ending is also unrealistic, uninspired, and unoriginal. Oh, and it has illogical physics when Laura closes Blaire's laptop. . The webcam is connected to the computer, so logically we should see the camera moving all the way down to where it is facing the keyboard. Like is the camera on Laura's tits? Oh, and don't forget the jump scare. The film has a few subtleties and laughs but don't go looking at articles reading this is in one shot as they can just read the script which is off the webcam on computer screen, and add in those cheesy and unrealistic glitches and lag in the video webcam. If you are looking for laughs, watch Neil n movies, not this unbearable piece of crap.
2/10 Horse Manure
Swiss Army Man (2016)
A strange, brilliant, and mind blowingly hilarious self aware film
Like abnormal? See this. Like intelligent? See this. Like funny. SEE THIS! Swiss Army Mans diversity was not only noticeable but its strangeness was not only quirky but hilarious. This is easily the best comedy of 2016. It has Daniel Radcliffe who was perfect for Manny, and Paul Dano who was also perfect for Hank. I swear there is no way of telling this is Daniels first film from the perfected direction and writing. The humor has funny build up and is really farcical. I think this film did everything correctly with how it wanted to do it. I recommend this to film goers who like strange but intact.
11/10 Golden Potato
Keanu (2016)
A stupid, fun, and surprisingly good comedy
Keanu actually surprised me not only as a comedy, but as a movie. Oh, and that has to be the cutest kitten ever seen on the big screen. I wonder if they called it Keanu because Keanu Reeves was John Wick, and Keanu is kind of a parody of that. Keanu is really stupid though, but it knows its stupid and doesn't try playing it off as anything different. I'm a huge fan of Key and Peele and if you are then you will enjoy this, because its basically a 90 min Key and Peele special episode. All the roles were perfectly written for the certain actors chosen, although the acting in the movie can be so intentionally and funnily exaggerated. There are a lot of callbacks and references to movies as one of the main characters is a huge film buff and likes to take pictures of Keanu in different famous scenes from movies. One of the characters stays in character as an overly exaggerated ghetto gang member where the other one breaks character as they walk out of a club and that character says, "Your not Daniel Day Lewis". It was funny if you know anything about Daniel Day Lewis as he is a very provocative actor who tries not to break character. The character logic near the end is so ridiculous and unrealistic that it kind of took me out of the movie and think " I don't think it would go like that." And then near the end of that certain scene, one character retracts to the fact that they should go to jail. Also, stay for the main credits; they're hilarious and appealed to me as a film buff. So even if its so ridiculous its crazy, its a funny and ironic comedy that is self aware.
8/10 Worth memorizing lines from the script and annoying everyone around you with references. ( literally )
Hardcore Henry (2015)
A self aware, adrenaline filled, epic, and ridiculous movie
If you watch my Youtube channel ( https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCneCbLMhXBr99AT9pNIs6Hg/featured ) you will know that i like slow moving films. BUT SCREW I! HARDCORE HENRY IS F***ING HARDCORE, SELF AWARE AND BADASS! Its 51 percent on RT and Metacritic is B.S. Here's why. The RT Critics Consences are: Hardcore Henry seems poised to reinvent the action flick, but without a story or characters worth caring about, its first-person gimmick quickly loses its thrill. Yeah, if i can recall the movie was never trying to have a character and story oriented movie. Thats because it is self aware and doesn't take itself seriously, its only worried about its inspiration and action - which I have a lot of respect for. It is basically Crank, Mirrors Edge, and Just Cause series. Its stunt choreography was fantastic and put the characters in actual danger. Such as the bridge chase scene with Dmitri. When the film becomes so confusing its hard to follow, you can accept it because the film isn't begging you to understand. It was just a film that wanted to be epic and adrenaline filled. Oh, and no headaches were induced by the movie.
This was amazingly HARDOCORE. LOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOOOLOLOLOLOLLLLLO LOLOLOLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLOOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLL LOOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOOLOLOOLO LOLOLOLOLOLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL BADUMMMMMMMMMMMMM TSSSSSSSSSS!!!
10/10 Potato Movie
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
A fantastic brought-out revenge story
All the tags we needed to know that it would be great watching this was: Quentin Tarantino, Katana fights, Uma Thurman, and Michael Madsen. Never has a movie with so much brutality and cruelty made me look away. In this movie, the violence is very mild and unseen compared to the last one, but in ways I liked that more. It allowed for more character development, conflict, and backstory, and it revealed such sentimental things, such as Beatrix seeing her - not aware that that she was alive- daughter.
And you all know the challenged woman who was with quentin Tarantino on the air and talking about his supposedly "SOULESS" movie.
Um, yeah no. It actually has a soul. A lot of it. The soul in many religions, philosophical and mythological traditions, is the incorporeal and immortal essence of a living being. According to Abrahamic religions, only human beings have immortal souls. This describes most the characters perfectly. We see that they have souls even if they caused Uma Thurman to be in a coma. *cough Pulp Fiction overdose scene*.
And the fact that is is directed by one of the most stylistic and thought provoking director makes it the more beautiful.
This movie also had an amazing soundtrack that fit the movie so well. Every scene that had a soundtrack was amazing. The final scenes soundtrack was probably the best. Which brings me the only issues, the scene was stretched a little to much.
So in the end, this film was successful in almost every way. And was an amazing Quentie film.
9/10 Oscar Worthy