Reviews

Transformers sufffers from the same problem as the Turtles movie. You take a beloved 80s cartoon, strip it from all its color, charm, light, and fun, replace it with endless explosions, cgi and babes and hope that the braindead audience does not notice the flaws in the script, the poverty of the performances, and the blatant attempt to destroy a beloved childhood memory. Now on its own it is harmless, silly but harmless, but it loses so many brownie points by not leaving a fine thing alone. Excess of explosions and exploiting in a 13 in a dozen Michael Bay CGI fest that you should feel free to skip. Further proves my idea that Tron Legacy stands alone in respecting the source material whilst being a fun movie on its own.

Suicide Squad I feel SS is a missed opportunity. The ingredients are there but somehow fail to make a good soup. At the heart of the problem is the ludicrous nature of the whole idea of SS. I a movie that establishes the existence of the Flash and Batman they answer the question "what of the next Superman is evil" by arming a 100 pound mental patient with a baseball bat. The whole movie is further stopped in its tracks by Flag and Waller, 2 of the worst characters I have ever seen. Roid raging, meth addicted, over the top aggressive against people who can kill them in a nanosecond. They don't get the good kind of hatred one can get from a bad guy, but the 'Turn the TV off' hatred that no character should invoke as it defeats the purpose of the movie. There's totally wasted characters like Katana, introduced with one line of forced exposition and who spends most of her time menacingly unsheathing her weapon before inexplicably joining the SS based on nothing. Halfway through the movie I cannot even begin to describe the anger I felt when I realized that half the movie is a rescue mission to save Waller (you know, the supposedly though woman whose complete inaptitude causes more problems than the main baddie of the movie). The main baddie, speaking of which, is played by a model who can't act, has a brother that is pointless, and uses fisticuffs instead of her wizard power to fight the SS, all set to an obnoxious soundtrack whilst the utterly unnecessary Joker is whining in the background of the "plot". To add insult to injury, when the SS somehow emerges victoriously Waller immediately gets in their faces trying to act tough, even though, I'll say it again, the whole Earth was risked on her utter uselessness in her job. Why does everyone bend over backwards to accommodate her? Just have Croc bite her head off and it would be a happy ending. There are some good elements, like Margot Robbie and the use of colour, but you have Will Smith who plays Will Smith, a guy with a boomerang, and a crocodile man who is a racial stereotype. I had high hopes for this movie but you might as well watch the trailers and you'll get all the good stuff without suffering through this cinematic torture.

The English translators really missed the mark on this one. I have seen at least 5 translations, all of them unappealing, the longest of which was Into the Forest Of the Lights of the Fireflies. Holy smokes, two minutes have passed since you began reading that title. Why not Into the Forest? Or Firefly Lights? As I often told my now ex-girlfriend, length isn't everything.

I'll just call it Hotarubi and I freakin' love it. I don't want to give too much away but it deals with the friendship between a spirit named Gin and a young girl named Hotaru. Gin cannot be touched or else he will vanish. This leads to some comedy when Hotaru is young but when she ages she begins to develop feelings for him.

I will leave it at that and you can find out the rest for yourselves. I love both characters, even if they ore rather one-dimensional. I love the animation. I love the music. I love the Japanese obsession with forest spirits. This movie reminds me both of The Garden of Words (beautiful animation, 45 minutes long, a small scope, lots of green) and The Red Turtle (beautiful animation, relaxed pacing, nice music). I absolutely adore the idea of a spirit-hosted festival in the woods where curious humans become festivalgoers without even realizing they hosts are spirits, as they conceal that fact by dressing up.

So what grade will I give this charming little tale? Well it is a bit short. I don't really mind but they could have added some depth to the characters, focus a little on how much they miss each other when they're far apart. It could have easily been a 75 minute movie and equally enjoyable. Also the characters serve to tell the story but because of this do feel a little lacking in depth. Again I don't really mind, but by my own rulebook I will have to deduce 2 full points.

So it's a very solid short but sweet 8/10 that I would happily recommend anybody.

This is nowhere near the worst episode, nor the best. A ship is adrift in space and while the crew figures out what happened as the Enterprise faces the same fate, the lone survivor, a young boy, deals with his loss by "becoming a robot."

The Boy

As far as child actors go (they're usually annoying on the show) the kid here isn't half bad. He portrays fear and guilt very well. He did not bother me. He acted the robot parts out with a stiffness that's more bad acting than robotic but for this one episode he was okay.

Data

Data has many episodes about finding a companion, making him feel less alone. Brent Spiner is always a fine actor, and he does okay with this mediocre episode. Still, at no point do I fell Data really bonds with the kid. Sure he likes him, Data likes everybody. But a real bond I wouldn't call it.

Ahhhh Troi

Leave it to Counselor Troi to not only skirt her responsibility as a therapist, leaving it to the least qualified person on board, but actually applauds the child ditching his humanity. Any decent psychologist would snap him out of it before it becomes irreversible; they would confront him with his feelings and discuss his emotions; they would encourage him to interact with other kids his age. They would realize a swift intervention would be preferable, especially with the ship at risk, rather than let the alienation become deeply rooted.

Troi does the opposite. Handing an emotionally distressed boy to an emotionally challenged android; seems happy that he no longer answers basic questions normally; and looks on coldly as the boy loses touch with fellow classmates. The only reason this all works is because TNG NEVER allows Troi to be wrong and to show us that she's fallible, as a real person would be. Her human side deeply fails her here, her Betazoid powers falter yet again when they are most needed, and when someone (I think Picard) reasonably asks whether this escapism should be allowed as it seems unhealthy Troi asserts herself without any arguments or proof to back her up that is perfectly normal for a PTSD human to ignore his humanity and embrace an emotionless alter ego.

Troi as a character

It says something about how much I like TNG that I also like Troi despite her many bad points. Here she shows a few of them. I like her the most out of TNG women (but not if you count K'Ehleyr) but she is sometimes very annoying.

Most of the time she hunts down unwilling patients in the corridors; she scans people without asking permission; she will publicly embarrass fellow officers rather than respect their privacy (check out "Loud as a Whisper", where she forces Worf into confessing something and Picard, as usual, appreciates Troi's blunt mental invasion). Whenever she loses her ability she becomes a cold, uneasy woman no-one really likes. This implies that without having the upper hand because she senses what others can't, she isn't a social or warm person. She's also the worst bridge officer since sliced bread and only passes the test by forcing Riker to give the clue she needs, and only after failing 3 times.

Apart from this she either fails at sensing something, shaking her head looking hopeless, or states the obvious. Check out the pilot episode ending, where the entire bridge crew looks on in transfixed marvel and wonder as space jellyfish (yes I said it) emerge and Troi out of nowhere yells "Sir!" distracting everybody, ruining the moment, and then saying "...wonderful". Come on, we don't need that. I bet everyone was mad at her.

Conclusion

Hero Worship is not a bad episode but the A plot feels like the B plot and therefore you don't get invested in one and forget the other. When we finally see the solution to the ship's problem I had utterly forgotten it had one to begin with. Troi allows a boy to flee his emotions in the least healthy way and by some miracle the boy isn't scarred for life. It's another Data-deals-with-a-pseudo- android-episode and not the best. The boy actor is okay but not great, Data (and Spiner) seem a little lost, Troi shows herself to be a bad counselor, and the ship is in peril part slips so far in the background you tend to forget it. It's a watch once episode. Not bad, far from great, 5/10

Is this the perfect movie? Well, maybe not perfect. But it is a perfect blend of horror, scifi and action, excelling in all three genres and creating a legendary flick.

Synopsis

Ripley is rescued by a salvage team after floating in space for 57 years. After being questioned by the corporation she settles into life. However, the world where the alien entered their ship is now colonized and all contact is lost. Grudgingly, Ripley goes along a group of marines as an adviser to check out the colony. After arriving, they find the place deserted. When they do find whatever is left of the colonists, they are attacked by aliens. One by one they die until Ripley dukes it out with the alien Queen, wins, and sets the survivors in cryosleep.

Bad Stuff

Erm.........maybe Newt forms a bond with Ripley a little too soon? Ripley forgives Biship out of nowhere? Why did the marines not check the ceiling of their last-stance place? Hudson can be a little annoying? Well, all of these are minor points. It's almost nitpicking. This movie has no real flaws of any magnitude.

Good Stuff

There's too much to mention, so I'll just say this: Aliens enriches Alien and the two should, if possible, be viewed in one session. Alien was a horror scifi, this adds action. All of the characters are interesting. It fixes the one bad point form the first movie, which is that Ripley really isn't that likable. But here we see another side to her, a softer side while remaining an ass-kicking heroine.

All the marines are cool, but Vasquez makes an especially memorable impression. She's the kind of chick you want next to you when you go into battle. She's capable, ruthless, tough as nails, handy, and oddly sexy. I like Hudson, Drake, Apone and Hicks. Burke and Gorman are assholes but at least they have some depth, some palpable reality about them. The aliens look awesome as does the whole colony. Newt is very cute. A small detail this movie does great is showing us the bullet counter on various weapons, which greatly increases the feeling of hopelessness as the marines' arsenal becomes increasingly depleted. Just like Alien, there is a hot, swampy, suffocating feel to the movie that works best when seen after sunset with the lights out.

Thunderin' Tim Tip: if possible, watch the Special Edition. If gives more meat to the story of the colonists and Newt. It's worth the 30 minutes of extra length.

Conclusion

A superb mix of three very separate movie styles creates a rightly legendary movie that has often been described as having no flaws. A smash hit in theaters, a favorite of critics, and an endearing piece of film making in the eyes of the masses, Aliens has withstood the test of time extremely well, and is Die Hard's only real rival for the title of Best Action Movie ever. Because the movie does not forget to incorporate the horror element (just the look of the slimy and slick aliens is enough to pull your feet of the floor and tuck them in your blanky) and the scifi, giving us more info on the inner workings of this fascinating species, the movie feels as a tight unit, compact, a near perfect product. I love this movie and almost everyone will agree. Superb. No real flaws. It's a solid 10/10.

Continuing a well established pattern this uneven numbered movie is one of the worst Star Trek movies.

Synopsis

There's a planet with healing powers. Nifty, Starfleet says, taking heavy casualties from the Dominion War and occasional Borg visit. Unfortunately the BaKu, a 600 strong race lives there. So Starfleet observes them hoping to beam them to a holodeck planet with the help of the SoNa. But Data malfunctions, reveals the observatory and brings the Enterprise into the story. When Picard discovers the plan he defies Starfleet orders with his crew, battle the bad guys and wins the day.

Good Stuff

-...........Well darn it, it's good to see the TNG crew back at it

-The movie has some nice ideas (onfortunately they've been done before, even by TNG. In fact, in Journey's End, Picard wants to beam people against their will into a holodeck.....the hypocrite!)

-Stewart, Spiner and Abraham are fine actors and we get flashes of their talent

Bad Stuff

-Oh where to begin. Well the biggest problem is the story: it simply isn't enough to sustain a 40 minute episode, let alone a full length movie. This makes the pacing too slow and some scenes unbearably obsolete.

-Gates McFadden is in this movie

-The planet's magic is never explained. At 2 different points, the woman BaKu slows down time and we get no explanation.

-Please give Geordie something to do. In the series he gives technobabble, strikes out with girls, and gets kidnapped. He is even more neglected by the movies.

-For a technology hating species the BaKu seemingly have used technology to build a freaking dam and even a hydraulic system to empty a lake. In the flick, they do not complain when the TNG crew uses technology to protect them and save their lives.

-There is little in the way of character development, which, in the case of the SoNa would have been nice

-Ah Humor. Star Trek and humor have a difficult relationship. TOS had a horrible campy taste and TNG intentionally tried to avoid this. TNG failed mostly at humor too, but whenever Data's cat and/or Reginald Barclay were present there were laughs to be had. But Insurrection reverses this. If you think a half naked Uhuru doing a moon dance was ridiculous, watch Picard dance and flirt with a mirror, see Data play in the hay, hear Troi and Crusher discuss their bosom, watch Worf getting pimples. It takes a special sort of person to laugh at this sort of humor and it's usually the sort who takes a special bus to go to school.

• After 7 seasons and 2 movies Data's learning to be human is getting a little old.

Conclusion

I love TNG and it's great to see the main characters together again. The story is very thin and nothing particularly interesting happens. There a some good ideas, nice effects, decent acting, but it's not enough to fill a whole movie. The pacing is too slow, the other characters not interesting and everything that needs an explanation doesn't get it. It's not as bad as people say but it's not good either. 4/10

PLOT (heavy spoilers!!!)

On a routine supply mission the Defiant has to leave after a Dominion attack leaving Sisko, Bashir, Quark, Nog and Ezri in a barren place holding an important Dominion communication's array, defended by a quickly diminishing group of stressed and fatigued Starfleet officers. It becomes clear quickly that these people are on the brink of mental and physical collapse. Quark tries to shield Nog but Sisko sends him on a mission that gravely injures him. Taking heavy casualties Starfleet holds on and finally get relieved by fresh troops.

GOOD STUFF

For once this isn't the Enterprise destroying an opposing, heavily armed cough cough warship with one phaser beam or a great battle mentioned in stories. We get right in on the action, and much like Quark points out, these are no longer kind and calm Starfleet officers but weary and hostile animals, looking either for a way out or a kill to make. I love the dark setting, the barren rock that no one will ever hear of, the guest stars who make the most of their material. The action is believable and incredibly violent, at least for Trek, there is a real sense of danger and traumatic fighting.

Quark steals many a scene, pointing out humanity isn't so sweet and nice when basic comforts disappear and war is all around; questioning Sisko's decision to send Nog on a mission; questioning whether Sisko even cares for his people; and staying with Nog distracting him. He makes a reasonable point that the Ferengi would choose to negotiate rather than fight an endless battle.

I especially like Vargas and Reese. Very different but understandable creatures in a besieged war front. I love the idea of the Dominion using holograms to establish the position and strength of the enemy, and mines in subspace that can go off without any warning.

Sisko sometimes becomes so angry he's almost scary. In those moments he's more real, more palpable than any other Captain. Avery Brookes may sometimes be called a Shakesperean robot when he acts out anger but I believed every bit of it.

BAD STUFF

Quark being send by the Nagus to inspect battle lines seems a pretty shallow way of just getting him involved. Why would Starfleet inundate the Nagus with reports? What the hell are they gonna do? Pay the Dominion to stop their expansionist, genocidal ambitions? The second Bill Mumy asks Ezri to hand him a tool you know they will flirt with or befriend each other. Wouldn't the Houdini mines also injure Jem'Hadar soldiers making them unusable in actual combat?

More importantly, if Starfleet recognizes the vast importance of the array when and if their engineers can crack it, shouldn't they send some engineers? Your best engineer is in orbit, hello? Remember the massive advantage the USA had when they cracked the Japanese transmissions.

It also seems a bit like a cheap plot device to give the least experienced crew members (Ezri, Nog, even Bashir) their trial by fire in this manner. I can appreciate them becoming better soldiers and proving themselves AND experiencing real warfare, but if the place is under constant attack why not bring Worf, Kira or O'Brien, experienced soldiers? Why not bring tough resistance-trained Bajoran soldiers? Why not send a contingent of tough Klingons? Hell, why not just hire some Nausicans. They love to fight. In the end, Starfleet goofs again by sending another group of inexperienced officers in clean uniforms and dreams of rainbows and sugar, rather than a battalion of battle-hardened super-soldiers. I mean the Federation duked it out with Cardassians, Borg, Klingon and Dominion in recent years, they must have an abundance of veterans.

MILITARY PERSPECTIVE

I have never been a soldier nor am I a military historian. I am however, feel free to believe or disbelieve me, a historian (University of Amsterdam, class of 2011) and I raise some serious questions on Dominion strategy. We always hear Jem'Hadar are super-soldiers and the Dominion are aces in tactics. Yet despite the ability to cloak soldiers, place subspace mines and bomb cities from the skies they simply just charge in the open and barely take cover. They have phaser-type weapons that they use as clubs. I can understand they won't bomb the structure because they want the array, but I do not understand the total lack of artillery. They found out the positions of the defending force, mull it over, then charge the positions. People, just use an artillery barrage. You can keep the array safe whilst inflicting heavy casualties without risking your own forces. But the 24th century seems to have forgotten artillery and they're proper fools. Give me even a 1860s platoon of soldiers, 3 Gatling-guns and two batteries of artillery and the Dominion will never come close to hand-to-hand combat.

CONCLUSION

A very dark and good episode showing Starfleet in a very different light. The military quality of it is somewhat debatable and dubious but the action feels fresh and alive. It fools you into thinking it's a fun episode by having Rom sing as an opener, and then smack you down by getting in the blood and bombs filled theatre of actual war. This is what soldiers experience everywhere and it's hard to stay humane. Quark has some tough but true lessons for Nog and Sisko, our freshest cast get baptized in violence and gore, supporting actors shine, feel very real. It's a great episode that I truly think only DS9 could pull of, already a more dark and bitter show. No nice moral, no sweet ending, no ship ex machina - just real people battling for their very lives. Powerful stuff. 8/10.

So the other day my buddy and I got together for our monthly beer, cola, pizza and movie night. After regaling him with stories of my utter failure in life, work and love we selected this movie. I had never seen it, though I knew the Queen song of course, and for him it had been quite a while.

It was.....quite the experience, to put it mildly. This flick is utterly bonkers. The acting is atrocious at times, especially the lead Hawkman (yes you read that correctly) who clearly doesn't take it serious; the set design and costumes are way, way over the top (it looks like colorblind aliens are holding a gay pride/carnival where everyone looks as ridiculous as is humanly...well...I guess...alienly possible; the editing and directing falls and fails and flails all over the place; the plot, if I may use that word ever so boldly, is so full with plot holes large enough to swallow a pyramid and coincidences that makes you want to throw stuff at the screen.

Yet......is this movie a prime example of "so bad it becomes good again"? You know what, I'm bound to think it is. I was fully entertained and flabbergasted along the way. You can see what's going to happen from a mile away but for once it didn't bother me. It's just so over the top, harmless, trashy, cliché ridden, camp, low budget with big dreams that I cannot help but approve of this movie.

Sure, a few annoyances. That may seem an endless list for a movie like this but since I like campy movies and its worst attributes actually make you laugh the most and that's never a bad thing, only a few things stand out.

Flash is such a goodie, softie, plastic hero it doesn't always work in his favor. I also didn't like how basically everyone (Flash, the Emperor, the princess, Dale) all fall in love within two minutes. The movie makes it seem (I don't know the comics) as if Flash and Dale are total strangers, meeting on the plane, yet she professes her love for him almost immediately. The Emperor falls for Dale the second he sees her. The Princess, well, she kisses just about everyone, but she's Ming's daughter and nearly engaged, but one look at Flash's Goldilocks and she aids a revolution.

I also didn't care much for the mad scientist guy, who basically kidnaps them but also forms a strong bond; who isn't the slightest bit amazed at the alien cultures but does seem to feel superior; who gets an extremely high dose of brainwash that does nothing without any explanation.

I also would have liked a little more Queen since they took the music department under their wings. I like the titular song but we get little else. Oh yeah, for some reason the aliens play the Bridal March but it's the Brian May version.

Richard O'Brien is severely underused. Max von Sydow appears, half way through the movie, to have decided he doesn't want to be there anymore. I also didn't really care for Timothy Dalton's character's sudden turn to Flash's side. Some scenes appear to be missing, most noticeably the capture of the Princess by the general guy (though he is pretty cool, sort of Doctor Doom's gay cousin).

Worst of all is, of course, the American Football scene. The chapter is even called just that, making it the odd one out in a series of bombastic chapter titles. It's actually slightly embarrassing seeing him make a play as if one the field, and even more embarrassing that all of Ming's subordinate leaders seem to help him. Hawkman again does worse here, disabling people and then looking innocently away, even though it's blatantly obvious, utterly without motivation, completely out of the blue, and rather ridiculous to oppose the Emperor openly and then do all but whistle innocently.

CONCLUSION

Well it was definitely an experience and I must say I laughed or goggled most of the time. Sure there are more problems than I could count and sometimes I hoped Flash would meat his Maker, but this movie almost gleefully bathes in campy nonsense and as such cannot really be judged by the same standards as normal movies, if there is such a thing. In the end, even if it comes rather too swift, I did enjoy it more than I disliked it, and I was glad to have watched it...I guess. Flawed beyond even what Ed Wood would consider a bad movie it has a harmless charm, and attracts through sheer and colorful weirdness. In conclusion, I feel this movie should be on every serious movie buff's menu, just so you can see for yourself what happens when a flimsy script, horrible acting, charming chaos, bight colors and a one-song soundtrack meet in a drug induced delirium in a misty back alley and is then put on a disk for your pleasure. An objective review would conclude with a 2/10 but I'm not about the delicate details of movie making, I review solely on the basis of how much it either moved or amused me. It didn't move me, but it also didn't move me closer to my inevitable suicide. An experience. 7/10

PLOT (SPOILERS)

About to achieve the obsessed Dr Stubbs' once-in-a-lifetime experiment the Enterprise begins to malfunction. Dr Stubbs feels connected to fellow genius Wesley, but it turns out fellow genius Wesley is responsible for everything, allowing 2 aggressive nano-robots to escape because he fell asleep. These nanites are now wreaking havoc on the ship and the mission, not to mention their lives, are in serious danger. Picard can remove them but refuses because he believes they are sentient. Dr Stubbs disagrees by effectively mass-murdering some of them. The nanites accept Data as a mediator and through him a peace settlement is reached, Dr Stubbs achieves his experiment and they warp away without so much as a slap on Wesley's wrist

THE GOOD STUFF

I was surprised other reviewers were so harsh on Dr Stubbs. I rather liked him but then again I also was alone in liking Kosinski. He doesn't fit in with Starflleet which makes him more real, more believable. I cheered him on when he refused Troi to mentally invade him -honestly he cannot be the only one who objects to this. Troi's habit of just scanning people without their permission is one of TNG's biggest irritations for me personally. I liked the bond he felt with Wesley. I liked Guinan in this episode. I liked the idea of the nanites. And for some part of the show, I finally began to like this more human and flawed Wesley.

THE BAD STUFF

That is of course, until he utters a sentence I fricking' hate. When Guinan catches him setting "mousetraps" he is forced to admit that everything is his fault. He looks so guilt-ridden and afraid what will happen I actually approved of him. But then Guinan, almost sarcastically, asks what he thinks of the grading for this disastrous experiment. Completely earnest, he responds with "I always get an A!" AAARRRGGGHHH are you kidding me? Are you KIDDING me? You almost destroyed your ship and still think you will get top marks? I almost liked him and he says that, returning to his softie know-it-all character we all know and despise. Even yelling at Dr Crusher doesn't rectify this. In the end, Wesley isn't blamed, even though, just to remind you, he fell asleep and nearly killed his crewmates, and no lesson is learned. If this was DS9 Odo would be hunting him down the Promenade.

I also disliked Dr Crusher's (yuck) return. She babbles on about her realization that (s)mothering Wesley is bad for him but does little else the entire episode. The end scene where, after deciding to let her son go more, she sees him with a girl and immediately questions Guinan about it is meant to be funny and make us happy that the lovable chagrin of a Pulaski has been replaced with this robotic plastic we call Dr Bev and horribly fails. I know she has fanboys but she doesn't have any depth as an actress or a character and barring one or two episodes the entire character could have been deleted and you would barely notice.

CONCLUSION

Perhaps not the spectacular show that was needed to kick off Season 3 but that season is the one that saw TNG finally escaping the long shadow of Kirk and Spock and give us quite a few good episodes. "The Defector" automatically comes to mind but there are many more. I like this episode, I liked Dr Stubbs, I liked someone finally telling Troi that she's rude and invasive, I liked Guinan and the nanites, I liked the weighing of nanites as a living people against the value of the experiment (Dr. Stubbs: "How many viruses have you killed, doctor? And at least that is a recognized form of life."). I even liked Wesley until he becomes arrogant and annoying again and while I wouldn't call this filler or unworthy of your time, the ending desperately needs Worf chastising Wesley with a Klingon pain stick so that a lesson is learned. I like it but it's not for everyone. 7/10

PLOT (SPOILERS)

Commander Maddox dreams of whisking Data away so he can dismantle him, and use the brain-dead model to replicate more AI's. Naturally Starfleet agrees and orders one of their most decorated and valued officers to be torn apart. Picard objects and demands a court case which the newly established starbase cannot provide. Thus the Judge, a former lover/rival of Picard, orders the Captain and First Officer to fulfill the roles of attorney's. Riker refuses to send a friend and fellow officer to his demise so the Judge happily threatens Data's life because of this understandable position. In the courtroom showdown, Riker argues that Data is a mere machine and property of Starfleet whereas Picard argues he is a living, sentient being with rights. Picard is losing but after a talk with Guinan he realizes that using Data that way would mean slavery, and in a brilliant speech, Picard wins over the Judge and other participants and Data is allowed to choose - naturally he refuses but does express interest in the idea, encouraging Commander Maddox

THINGS I LIKED

This is a fantastic episode. Frakes, Spiner, Goldberg and Stewart give stellar performances and the way Data is basically silent whilst others determine his fate is done in a powerful way. You cannot help but feel for the android who so desperately wants to be human and is now almost destroyed by humans. Maddox and Louvois (the Judge) are believable characters. Picard's ending speech is monumental and I am not at all surprised this episode is sometimes used by college courses in robotics and AI. Riker turning off Data is a real "now just wait a sec!" moment. The legendary poker night begins. The judge is very emotional as she weighs Data's soul or lack of it, and I truly believed her when she gave him the right to determine his own life. The use of Yar's image was very neat and I liked Maddox calling Data "it" until the last moment when he calls him "he".

THINGS I DISLIKED

1) This is more a consideration than an annoyance but every scene with Guinan (whether it's with Picard, Riker, Data, Worf, Worf's parents, Wesley, Ro or LaForge) essentially makes Troi obsolete. She is a better counselor, offering wisdom rather than a lecture, and does so without violating people's privacy of thoughts and feelings (for instance, Worf in the transporter room in Loud as a Whisper, or Dr Stubbs in Evolution). It also helps that she, unlike Troi, doesn't patrol the corridors looking for patients to harass or publicly humiliate.

2) The real problem I have with this episode is of course the justice bit. The starbase isn't staffed yet so the logical thing would be to use that magnificent Warp 9.9 engine and go to one that is. But no, utterly unqualified officers are assigned to fill these positions. Both of whom are Data's close friends. The Judge is a memory of the past for Picard and she basically says she loves him. Judge Louvois basically orders Data to his grave just because Riker doesn't want to help send him there. Riker is allowed to physically attack Data but not to give a closing statement. He doesn't object once to Picard's attack on Maddox. Picard actually invites the Judge to DINNER for crying out loud, moments after she rules in favor of her favorite.

And worse of all, no one in Starfleet objected to Data, one of their own, and clearly a living, sentient being, with many titles, achievements and medals, and many years of loyal service, being dismembered by this lunatic mad scientist. Even after being vindicated, f I were Data, I would give them all the finger and resign anyway. It shows that despite the self-important glee that Starfleet, above all others, respects new life and beings' rights, they do not care one bit for their own and would happily sacrifice a valued bridge officer so they can have disposable slaves. Highly, highly questionable. While I like Commander Maddox realizing not just the error of his ways but also Data's value, it bothers me that no one in Starfleet admits to any wrong, and barely a Season later, in "The Offspring", we see that Starfleet has learned and respects nothing as they send yet another admiral to steal a intelligent and sentient being, just because it is a very different and unique one.

CONCLUSION

This is a TNG classic, a Star Trek and TV classic, and is one of the best looks into artificial lifeforms and their rights I have ever seen. Acting is top notch in this one. In a rather shaky season 2 this one stands out by a country mile. However, it does not get a perfect score because the utter fallacy of Starfleet Justice is shown. I'm genuinely surprised no other reviewer has mentioned this. The offhand way Admiral Nakamura (I think?) just says "Oh this Commander Maddox and he will destroy that yellow robot over there" is ridiculous. He is already a recognized living being (Pulaski says that Starfleet records state this) and who the hell says that when the clearly sentient officer in question is within earshot. This episode, even more than the Drumhead, has that feeling of being a very good episode while showing the complete fallacy of Starfleet Justice. Fair trial, my backside. 8/10 for Picard's speech, the acting, and the bold topic. Two point deduction for the insensitive and let's-betray-everything-we-stand- for attitude from, you guessed it, an Admiral and Starfleet in general.

THE PLOT (SPOILERS)

Suspecting espionage and sabotage Starfleet sends an retired admiral/prosecutor to investigate. Picard co-operates until he begins to suspect a witch hunt and starts to resist. This shifts the focus of investigation to Picard himself and he must answer charges. Exploiting the admiral's instability, Picard drives home a moral lesson.

THE GOOD STUFF

Picard is wonderful in this and for the most part so is the admiral. Ensign Tarses is interesting too, and I like he lied about his Romulan ancestor which shows how deep racism and prejudice still lurk in the depths of the supposed highly rational Federation. This episode also raises serious questions about the justice at work in Starfleet, of which Picard usually boast as a great virtue. The fact that it seems biased and hostile, and thus flawed, makes it more believable. I cheered Worf on as he was about to destroy a prosecutor bringing up his father's supposed dishonor.

THE BAD STUFF

1) Worf. It feels weird writing this as he is usually one one of the better characters, but here I disliked him. I'm so sick and tired of people saying "yeah but he is Klingon" (other characters, reviewers and fans alike). Come on, he was raised by humans, grew up amongst humans, went to school with them and serves with them. He's not really Klingon and this explains why every single Klingon he encounters takes the mickey out of him. In Redemption he shows a constant lack of understanding of Klingon culture.

But here, when the chance presents itself to ruin a fellow officer he becomes all Klingon, immediately assuming guilt when someone doesn't answer, and participating almost gleefully in the witch hunt. Has he forgotten all the Federation supposedly stands for? Every lesson he learned from Picard. In fact, only when the Admiral accuses Picard does he become offended. He annoyed me in this one.

2) I fail to see how the Admiral's rant at the end changes anything. She basically says out loud what everyone already knows, that she accuses Picard of being a collaborator. Her anger at him twisting her beloved and dearly missed father's words seems normal to me.

3) This is the worst example of Starfleet justice after Measure of a Man. Yes, yes, that's a fine episode but the justice part is ridiculous. In Measure of a Man, the starbase doesn't have legal personnel so unqualified officers will do, the judge is Picard's old flame, Riker is forced to participate under direct threat of Data's life, he doesn't get a closing statement but the Judge does allow him to dismantle the defendant, and to top it all of, Picard immediately offers her dinner the second she rules in his favor. A TOTAL FARCE!

This episode is almost as bad. Unqualified people interrogate until the professionals arrive, the admiral is clearly bonkers, a crewman is only suspect because of uninformed and illegal Betazoid probing of the mind, one of the Federation's Guarantees (cough Fifth Amendment cough) is used as a slap in the face of someone exercising that right, no one bothers to supervise a deluded Klingon from digging a fellow officer's past and so on and so on. It makes Starfleet's hatred of Cardassian justice extremely shallow and hypocrite.

4) There are better episodes to vent my hatred of the Prime Directive but the fact that Picard, one of the best captains in the fleet, is accused of violating it so many times, proves, to me, the utter invalidity of the PD in the first place. captains cannot help violating it because it is not realistic, not practical, not usable in unforeseen circumstances.

5) The instant Worf approves of the Admirals'tactics she proclaims her faith that he will turn out to be very important in the investigation. A little conceited, isn't it?

CONCLUSION

Over all I like this episode but it enhanced my problems with admirals (they only make things worse), Betazoids (probing people without their permission should be against the law), Federation justice (it's biased, hostile, illegal almost), and the moral compass of the Chief of Security. I like the tense, almost paranoid feel of this episode, but since it is clear Picard will never be convicted the trial does lose some of its initial appeal. Worf is insufferable and his turnabout does not come from a sincere realization but from his crush on Picard. This episode raises some serious questions about the often repeated superiority of human and Federation justice (Picard often mentions "a fair trial" but I have yet to see one). It is a good one though, and certainly worthy of your time. 7/10

So far this first TNG season has (if you count the pilot as one episode, which I think you should) had 7 episodes, including this one. 2 of them had the characters acting unusual (which is ridiculous since we haven't even established a ground for comparison) but 2 episodes have focused on Wesley. The first was okay, albeit sickly sweet in its ending, but this one isn't. It just isn't.

PLOT (SPOILERS)

The Enterprise crew visit the Edo,a oversexed bunch of bronzed and blond superhumans (aliens of course, but identical to humans, go figure) that will rub up against anything and anyone they encounter. The ship encounters a object in space claiming to be the Edo God. Whilst playing with Edo kids Wesley breaks a glass greenhouse, and is almost put to death by Edo coppers. This means a diplomatic standoff between Starfleet and the Edo. Picard has the bureaucratic nightmare of keeping his semi-crush Crusher happy, saving Wesley, not insulting the Edo, not getting destroyed by the Edo God and stick to Federation rules. After a compromise cannot be reached Picard out-speeches the God and beams up Wesley and they warp away.

THINGS I LIKED

..........I guess the Edo God?

THINGS I DISPISED

Not even Worf could crack my smile with his "Nice planet" when hugged by the admittedly extremely attractive Rivan. I'm surprised Troi didn't get jealous with her present. The Edo look ridiculous in their revealing pink half-suits. I hate the idea that these people are so carefree and happy when the slightest offense will get you the death penalty. Usually dystopias do not look like the Garden of Eden. I refuse to believe a species like this can live like this. We learn pretty much nothing about the Edo God making it a plot device, although it is nice to see the Enterprise outclassed -it will not happen many times more.

But all of this isn't even the main problem. Since Wesley's life is at stake, the episode will only succeed if the audience remotely cares for this boy, which would be a big fat NO! Wesley in this stage is such a dweeb, such a eager-to-please non-entity. His perfect day is having breakfast with his mother, getting good grades in school, being on the Bridge, getting a compliment from Riker or the Captain, and then go to sleep in his pink room filled with stuffed unicorns and a framed picture of Picard. Only later will I get some respect for the boy. I liked him in Evolution until he ruins it with one sentence, and I liked the ideas of him being moody because of expectations and choosing a non- Starfleet path. However, that is done so much better with Jake Sisko, who suffers because of the expectations coming from being Sisko's son, everyone thinking he will go to the Academy, and, in the end, choosing a non- Starfleet path. Why does it work for him? Because he is a good character. When he says: "Yo, instead of getting killed by Jem Hadar and not even getting paid for it, I'm gonna write and not be paid for it (which is basically my life at the moment)" we can only applaud him.

The other big problem is the other Crusher. Has a mother ever been less concerned for her child? She seems more involved in Symbiosis about drug addicts. Maybe even she hates Wesley, who knows? But her imploring the Captain and shutting up Data when he lacks subtlety is horrible to behold. I just didn't buy it. Gates McFadden is a dancer first and an actress second and it shows here.

The last big problem is the same we have with A Matter Of Persopective when Riker gets wrongly accused of murder and may go to jail. Not for one second do we believe Riker is guilty, or will be found guilty, or Picard letting Wesley die in Edo hands. This takes away a lot of interest you may have for this episode and after 20 minutes you'll be watching for the good looking Edo, not for the story if I may use that word so callously here.

CONCLUSION

You can probably tell I do not like this episode and I consider it to be second only to Code of Honor (ugh) in the category of Worst TNG episode, hell even Worst Star Trek Episode. Just don't watch it. You'll laugh only once perhaps, and then get bored. Really, really bored. With the life of the least liked character hanging in the balance you'll wish Picard just shrugged and warped out to ruin some other civilization. Horrible. 1/10

"Mr. LaForge, I accuse you of violating me on the holodeck!"

"I'm guilty of something much worse!"

"Oh yeah? What?"

"Being nice to you!"

"I'm sorry. Can we be friends now?"

..............what???

In this episode we focus on Geordi and that's almost never a good idea. He hasn't had too much character development, and although he is a fine character in any scene with Data or with the bridge crew, he is slightly too 2D to pull of a character episode.

SPOILERS

PLOT

Having used Dr Brahms likeness on the holodeck in an earlier crisis (I will get to that review soon where I will focus on why the computer makes a warm, available and flirtatious creation where there is no need for one and that couldn't have been farther from the truth) Geordi is very excited about the real one turning up. He puts the moves on her but she is cold and hostile. Meanwhile the Enterprise heads straight for an unknown life form and when it defends itself from this menacingly advancing mechanical thing Picard immediately kills it, living in a world where a warning shot appears to be missing from procedures. It turns out the life form was pregnant and Crusher performs a C-section (don't worry, I'll address it). The baby life form sees its dead parent and this weird looking ship that is the only thing around, and instead of thinking "Mayhaps that alien killed me mum, let's get out of here" it declares the Enterprise its new mother (The mother is dead, long live the mother). It latches onto the ship and drains its energy, and the crew try to get it to a energy rich asteroid field where similar creatures appear. Meanwhile Brahms and LaForge duke it out but come to a sort of truce until she finds his holodeck fantasy and goes mental. However, she seems to forgive him after a heartfelt speech and they succeed in removing the baby, reuniting it with its kind.

Things I liked and disliked

Normally I make two sections but there are two sides to many points.

Another reviewer with the amusing pen name planktonrules wrote: "I can EASILY imagine a woman macing a guy like this", talking about LaForges inappropriate tone and behavior. He does come across as a creeper and that's highly unprofessional, but then again so is bitching against him and verbally castrating him as Dr Brahms does.

I like the idea of a real person not living up to holodeck expectations but I dislike a person having them in the first place (expectations based on a fantasy I mean).

I like the idea of the floating alien but the way Picard approaches it a conflict seems normal.

The C-section is utterly ridiculous because the life form is unknown and Crusher has no idea what she's doing.

Guinan is a relief as always, she seems like a much, much better counselor than Troi if I'm honest because she doesn't impose on people, tries to understand them rather than lecturing, and doesn't patrol the corridors of the ship looking for psychoprey.

I like the idea of a asteroid field as a natural habitat but I hated how Data knew where to go "based on the direction the life form was heading" when we encounter it hanging still in space, in orbit around a planet, a planet they completely ignore.

I loved Dr Brahms encountering the holodeck fantasy but I hated how LaForge got away with it but acting like he was hurt. The scene doesn't make any sense. He counters her understandable accusations of holodeck violation with a speech how she's mean to him while he tries to befriend her. Erm...yeah...but dude...the problem is the holodeck fantasy for which you have to answer, not deflect the guilt.

In typical TNG fashion the episode ends on a utterly positive note. Geordi is friends with Dr Brahms, the alien is amongst others of its kind, the crew has rectified murdering a alien in labor, and no one really learns anything and nothing has consequences.

CHANGING THE ORDER OF EVENTS

I think the episode would have been a lot better if Dr Brahms turned out to be every bit as warm and nice in the beginning as she is at the end of the episode, then finds the holodeck fantasy after being creeped out by Geordi, then explode, THEN either not forgive him or achieve success and an uneasy truce. By introducing her as a cold and vile woman you instantly don't care Geordi groped a holocopy of her making her outrage uninteresting. If they had shown her to be nice and likable, then having her turned ugly, it would have made for a better episode.

CONCLUSION

Some people hate it but that's unfair. I admit it brings together Starfleet doing unintentional harm/Geordi strikes out/let's end on a sweet note which often plague TNG seasons, but the episode has an interesting alien life form, some proper engineering work, and some good Picard moments. Part of the problem is Geordi not having enough depth as a character. Imagine O'Brien had worked closely with the holodeck Brahms and Keiko one day discovering this seductive holowoman. that would have made for good television. Why? because O'Brien is a well developed character that is amicable. Geordi is too 2D and a creepy guy the first half of this episode. It also makes his slightly superior attitude towards Barclay at times insufferable.

It's not the best of TNg but it certainly isn't the worst (after all, Tasha Yar isn't in it).

6/10

A movie that couldn't fail to please me and did so anyway. Now I'm not your typical Phantom Menace hater. As a scifi and Star Wars nut and a big fan of McGregor, Neeson and Portman, I was really looking forward to this movie and willing to give it a heap of goodwill. But my goodwill ran out.

Synopsis (SPOILERS)

For rather unclear reasons the Trade Federation blockades a planet called Naboo and the furious Parliament sends two (well one and a half) Jedi's to convince them to stop. Failing before even starting, they escape with the Queen to a planet where they meet Anakin Skywalker. He seems gifted so the Jedi's take him with them whilst preparing to free Naboo. In a massive battle, they manage this, but by then we've learned that a Sith Lord was the puppet master of the Trade Federation. Erm that's about it.

Before I delve into the long awaited dislike section let's look at the highlights.

THINGS I LIKED

1) I really liked the music

2) Whilst at times completely underwhelming, I liked Neeson and McGregor as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan

3) Darth Maul is a fantastic villain, albeit one-dimensional, and the fight between him and the Jedi's is a nicely chaotic, violent dance. Kudos for those scenes that I would have thoroughly enjoyed had the screen not continuously switched to Anakin crashing into everything in his vicinity.

4) There are many references to the old trilogy which pleases the senses

5) Senator Palpatine is a wonderful addition to the universe, even though it's pretty clear what he will become

THINGS I DISLIKED

1) The beginning. In A New Hope we learn of the Empire and the Rebels, we then see the Empire's finest chase the Rebel Princess, who sends vital information with two droids, which brings Luke into the story, which brings Obi-Wan into the story, and their need to escape gives us Han and Chewie. It's as smooth as gentile Zen stream. Here the Federation invades a planet and we meet the Jedi's and the Queen who escape to a planet that has Anakin, to which Qui- Gon is drawn like a Catholic Priest. Much like my girlfriend's happy days, there is no flow. We barely get any motivation for the Trade Federation to invade a planet we don't know, other than they are manipulated themselves. Even if the Queen hadn't escaped I do not see what difference it would make. I know it's a plan to disrupt the Senate but it's one small, unknown planet, that at this point holds no interest.

2) Darth Maul (yes, yes, he's awesome and the Kendo Lightsaber Stick is cool) has no character development making him a mere puppet of his master

3) Obi-Wan: I was so disappointed when he wasn't revealed but nonchalantly introduced. This is a big name in Star Wars played by a good actor, and it could have been an epic moment.

4) The meeting between Anakin and Obi-Wan could also have been legendary. We know how badly things will get which glues us to the screen when they meet but it's basically "So you're a Jedi too, har har, pleasure to meet you!"

5) This movie desperately needed a Suicide Squad bar scene, where we see some believable, entertaining camaraderie developing between the main cast, much like the Luke, Leia and Han bickering evolved into trust and loyalty.

6) The ending. It's bad enough that Anakin wins the day by mistake but I also do not really care for either the land people or the underwater people of Naboo and that they finally make an alliance is about as interesting as watching grass grow. The zoom in on Palpatine is not bad but we already know it's him doing evil deeds so it's unnecessary.

7) Yoda and Mace Windu seem interesting and we barely get any of it.

8) Knowing where Anakin and Padme are going the age gap slightly bothers me.

9) These complaints are worth noting because they are always repeated, and not without cause: making the Force biologically measurable, Jar Jar is annoying, Jake Lloyd can't act, everyone acts slightly wooden, the CGI takes precedence over the story, it tries too hard, the pod race goes on too long, it kills off it's best villain and good guy.

10) But I would forgive it all were it not for the missing ingredient: Magic. The first trilogy captured kids and adults alike and created arguably the strongest and most dedicated fan base in history, and here, while looking slick and having some good moments, it just doesn't work. It doesn't compel. It's mildly interesting. There is little character development. Little story. Barely any depth. No heart. It lacks the roguish charm of its predecessors.

CONCLUSION

It's not as bad as it was described, say, 10 years ago but it cannot fill the shoes of the first movies -not even close. There are some good moments and it's still watchable, but a horrible character, unbearable kid acting (look at Mama, Sixth Sense or I am Sam to see the difference) and CGI obsessiveness give a story that should work a deservedly bad reputation. 5/10 mostly because of the music, the nods to the past, Neeson, Maul and Palpatine.

In this good episode we get a showdown between Aang and his friends and Azula and her friends and it doesn't disappoint.

PLOT (SPOILERS)

After the shock of the previous episode's cliffhanger team Avatar enters occupied Omashu to find Bumi. They encounter the underground underground (hehe) and learn that the Mad King simply surrendered. Using a ruse to evacuate the city Team Avatar discover the governor's son amongst them, whereupon the governor proposes a trade for King Bumi. Meanwhile, Azula has recruited Ty Lee, a cheerful and acrobatic friend to her mission and is in Omashu to recruit Mai, the governor's daughter and also a friend. Azula goes to make the trade but breaks it off, and finds out she's dealing with the Avatar. While Ty Lee and Mai battle Katara and Sokka, Aang tries to escape with Bumi, constantly harassed by Azula. Bumi tells Aang that he cannot be his teacher because Aang must wait until he encounters a certain, special someone with a distinct style. Team Avatar flees the city and Azula and cronies begin to pursuit.

The Good

Azula chooses her friends well: Mai throws and kicks darts and arrows at opponents whereas Ty Lee attacks pressure points in the body, effectively disabling either the muscles or the bending of any opponent. They make an interesting duo, the gloomy Mai and the happy Ty Lee, both skilled and dangerous. It took a while to meet a strong fighter without bending ability since Jet, but here are two ladies who fit the bill. Azula seems a lot scarier then Zuko. Whereas Zuko was an angry opponent Azula is more quiet, more unnerving, charming in a disturbed way. She order people around with much more authority. Zuko always seemed a troubled character, despite his rage and fanaticism, was willing to listen occasionally to Iroh and more concerned with his honor. he didn't chase the Avatar because of spite, but because capturing him was his only ticket home. Azula seems a much more one dimensional enemy, silently murderous as I like to call her, and those are usually the best villains who stay villains. Bumi is back and wonderfully insane, and his wise words to Aang are heavy foreboding. Omashu is a gorgeous setting. The fighting scenes are smooth and Azula's blue fire somehow seems more dangerous.

Aangs motivation

At first I was slightly puzzled over Aangs motivation of entering Omashu. He seems not to care about its citizens but only about Bumi. But then I thought back to the episode The King of Omashu. Bumi is a childhood friend in a world where pretty much everyone Aang knew before his disappearance has passed on. Thus makes Aang overly fond of Bumi. Keep in mind Aang is still only 12. The larger strategic questions of the city's surrender can wait until he has found his friend.

Conclusion

Finally we get to see Azula in action and her friends, especially Ty Lee, seem serious opponents. Aang and Bumi together is always nice. I found the whole part about the city's resistance, and the evacuation, and the ruse to do it slightly forgettable. This is a good episode with some lesser parts in the beginning, but it picks up as soon as Azula enters the city. Following Bumi's advice you'll be on the look out for an "Earth bender who waits and listens" and you won't be disappointed. First half: 7. Latter half: 9. End grade: 8.

This has been described as a filler episode and I am forced to agree. But all series, even one with a strong arc, have filler episodes and one cannot dismiss an episode solely on that ground.

PLOT (Ye be warned: SPOILER)

Visiting the magnificent Earth Kingdom City of Omashu, where Aang used to goof around with his friend Bumi, Aang and the gang quickly get into trouble and are brought to the King for judgement. The King is boinking mad however, spouting nonsense and cheap puns, but is nevertheless clever enough to deduce who Aang is. He seizes them and tasks Aang 3 challenges and a question to save his friends from doom. Aang succeeds and answers the question "What is my name?" by identifying the mad King as Bumi. The two embrace and Aang is given some advice, after which the two go out for one more time of goofing around.

The Good

Omashu is gorgeous. Bumi is highly entertaining. We get to see some proper earth bending. It's awesome to see Aang still has a childhood friend in the current world and someone who loves him and missed him during his absence. This is important because it would be devastating to wake up one day and all your family and friends were long gone.

The Bad

The first two challenges are clearly filler, a way to get to the duel you sense is coming and to demonstrate both earth bending and how powerful Bumi actually is. Nothing about this episode survives beyond the episode apart from Omashu as a setting and Bumi as a side character. The BIGGEST problem however, with his wacky demeanor and wonky eye , is how fast the audience identifies Bumi, making you slightly impatient as Aang catches up and the reveal worth nothing.

Conclusion

I am not as negative as the other reviewer about this particular episode. There are no real bad episodes in my book, as even The Great Divide has some good stuff and The Beach is rather charming in its own way. But this episode does reek of filler, and while Aang and Bumi make a funny combination, and there are some laughs and nice bending scenes, the series is aching towards The Storm at this point to kick things up a notch. Yes it is filler but it's not horrible and after being introduced to fire and water bending in all previous episodes, earth bending seems decidedly fresh, cool and dangerous. Filler but watchable, 6/10.

While the show already was pure gold, certainly compared to other shows of the era, this episode stepped up its game remarkably. The first part is good too but it's part 2 that, much like "The Storm" (1.12), gives us so much ore than what you expect when you park your kids in front of the TV screen and find yourself addicted every bit as much.

PLOT (WARNING: SPOILERS)

Continuing where part 1 left of, Zuko has finally captured the Avatar but finds himself stuck in bad weather in unfamiliar territory. Raging, he remarks that nothing ever goes his way. Aang meanwhile, oblivious to this, visits Ko, the Face Stealer, an ancient ghost in the spirit world. Ko tells Aang about the Moon and Ocean Spirit. When Katara and the others find Aang she defeats Zuko and Aang decides that they cannot leave him there to freeze to death. Meanwhile Admiral Zhao finds and, despite Aangs and Irohs warnings, kills the Moon Spirit. Effectively this causes the Moon to disappear, waterbenders to lose their ability, and Aang teams up with the Ocean Spirit to defeat the Fire Nation invasion. Zuko defeats Zhao in agni kai. Princess Yue gives her life back to the lunar spirit, restoring (and becoming) the Moon. Aang and the Ocean Spirit part ways after which the spirit kills Zhao. Iroh and Zuko escape the North Pole with Zuko very confused and uncertain. Fire Lord Ozai tasks his daughter, Princess Azula, with finding the Avatar.

The Good

So much happens in just over 20 minutes but the episode doesn't feel forced or too high-paced. In fact the best scene might be Zuko and Aang in a cave with Zuko trying to figure out what to do. He mentions his sister (read the other review for the quote) and is hopelessly stuck, a metaphor for his life. But there are so many good scenes: Aang meeting Ko, a creature that sends shivers down your spine; Iroh showing more of his strength; Aang teaming up with the Ocean Spirit to become a Monster Koi; Yue's sacrifice; Azula's smirk -it just keeps on coming. This episode also deepens our understanding of bending: water benders derive extra power from the Moon; fire benders from the Sun, which makes sense when you think about it. Sokka kisses Yue as she fades and it's not so much a tug but a straight body punch on the ole heart strings. Any trip to the spirit world is done beautifully. We finally get a large battle and it doesn't disappoint. Zuko failing and attacking Zhao and Iroh doing the same make their faith highly uncertain. Azula has been mentioned a couple of times but here we meet her even if for a brief glimpse.

No, isn't that a kid show?

I often hear this when encouraging my friends to watch this series so I advice tying them up when you encounter them too and force- binge towards this episode. Yes it is a kid's show, but this is war and invasion, spirits so creepy they make an adult freak out, destruction and death. Yue and Zhao clearly die in this episode, but this whole masterclass in animation reeks of maturity.

Conclusion

Beginning Avatar's well deserved reputation for saving the best for the finales, this one hits all the right notes and (I apologize for using this word so much for this series) deepens the show's content. We see the demise of good and evil, we see Zuko standing between them, we see Aang's true power and spiritual connections, we see impossible love, self-sacrifice, a major battle between fanatical enemies, and the promise of a whole new villain. The Siege of the North: Part 2 is perfect and I'll only deduct one point for the kiddies having nightmares about the Face Stealer.

(Warning: SPOILERS)

Avatar: The Last Airbender aka The Legend of Aang is one of the best, richest shows of all time. It is considered in many corners as the best non-Japanese animated series. It would capture the hearts of kids, adults and critics alike and stand the test of time. While it is a Nickelodeon show, it deals with topics such as life and death, war and genocide, banishment and abandonment, love and hatred, revenge and forgiveness. These are pretty big themes for a kid's show and episode no.12 "The Storm" is often considered the first Avatar classic, the moment people began to see the series as much, much more than a young and entertaining show and began to regard it as a mythical, almost spiritual journey.

PLOT

Sokka tries to earn some money by working for a fisherman. Despite forewarnings of an approaching storm, they leave, but not after the fisherman scares Aang away by verbally attacking him for abandoning the world. As the weather worsens, Aang flees to a cave where he tells Katara about why he fled 100 years ago. Meanwhile, Zuko, relentlessly chasing the Avatar, also encounters bad weather, and while his crew takes shelter inside the ship Iroh joins them and tells them of why Zuko was burned and banished. We go back and forth between the two narratives and end up with Aang saving Sokka and the fisherman and Zuko choosing to save the ship and crew rather than continuing the chase.

Good Stuff

What Avatar does best is juxtaposing the good and the bad and showing us the good has its flaws and the bad its reasons. The dual story gives us a ridiculous amount of backstory but it deepens the show and the characters. Both tells, somehow fittingly, are told around a fire. Watching usually calm Iroh showcase his power (something we always suspected) by redirecting lightning is a joy to behold. One of my favorite shots is when both parties cross paths in the eye of the storm, Aang looks back and Zuko looks up, and as the two lock eyes with uncertain expressions we get a true sense of destiny.

King character and character development

We learn so much more about the antagonist and protagonist. Aang lacks a certain character development throughout the series and by its finale he's still the wonderful mix of spiritual monk, playful child, and mighty Avatar. Stephen King once wrote that he mentally gave his characters tons of development and backstory, so that when he put them in a situation, rather than going "Erm..I'll have him do this, yes" the characters personality dictated how they responded. Aang is such a character. Brought up by peaceful, contemplating monks he knows no other way of looking at the world and in a sense, is complete. The struggle in him is more his peaceful upbringing and his violent surroundings, creating an internal conflict that would be touched upon again, most notably in the series finale. With another character having so much character development it would be too much to do the same for Aang.

Zuko is often regarded as Avatars best and most interesting character. His transformation has been labeled the best of any TV show, including the non-animated ones. That may be a bold statement but I find myself agreeing with it. Zuko goes from a violent, perpetually angry young man to a balanced, peaceful man. But the point is, we already sense there is much more to Zuko in season 1 and this episode, while not starting that view, certainly develops it. Zuko's struggle is his internal good vs bad conflict, his wish to regain his father's favor despite hating him, his disobedience to his uncle even when he knows, deep, deep down, that Iroh is right. Learning who burned him makes us understand why he is so evil, and in pretty much the next scene he saves lives, almost to present his internal struggle outwards.

Conclusion

Aangs conflict in his peaceful nature and his violent responsibilities as Avatar and Zuko struggling to understand himself makes Avatar such a deep, meaningful show. The Storm is a perfect example of this. In a mere 20 minutes Avatar upgrades and enhances its show, its narrative, its arc and its characters. In one superbly written episode that is a visual, artistic, and character development master class, this examination of protagonist and antagonist elevates a good show mainly for the young to a deep journey for all ages. The Storm is not Avatars last classic but it's certainly the first. 10/10

Nowadays TV series are on the same level as movies (Game of Thrones being the obvious example) in terms of production, writing, smoothness, acting and directing. Older series suffered from being viewed as a step down from movies. But every now and then, a show would get it right, and Star Trek, far too often ignored for catering to a very specific fan base, had some of the greatest TV episodes of all. And this one is a perfect example.

* Plot (SPOILERS)

Sisko begins to hallucinate a life as a sci fi writer named Benny Russell in a US era abundant in space interest and racism. As he struggles against prejudice, he creates DS9 stories, and begins to wonder whether he is the writer or the character. Scenes on DS9 feature Sisko wondering the exact same thing. As he faces serious opposition from the prevailing racism of his time, he stubbornly refuses to budge, and stands by his creation.

* Good stuff

Boy where do I begin? Let me say that the best episodes of any series is often the one where they leave their comfort zone the most and enjoy themselves the most. Here we see DS9 in make-up-less reinvented roles and all seem to rejoice. The era could not have been brought to life any better and this 1950s New York seems at times almost palpable. Seeing Odo, Worf, Nog, Quark, Weyoun, Martok and Dukat as human characters is great fun.

The story is mesmerizing in daring and originality. Jake and Papa Sisko both have memorable roles. It contains 2 of the best lines in all of television ("To them you will always be a N....." and "You are the dreamer...and the dream"). The workplace for Incredible Tales seems like a place I want to work. The whole episode vibes with so much soul and liveliness you'll get sucked in before you can say Qapla'. Note the music which underscores every single mood and mood shift. The Quark- Odo rivalry is a joy as ever.

There is a underlying notion that elevates the episode. Not only is it about the power of fiction and ideas, but you genuinely start to wonder which world is real. There are two fantastic shots that mirror each other, Russell seeing Sisko in a reflection and Sisko seeing Russell in a reflection. The way this 40 minutes of your time well spend juggles Star Trek's dealing with racism and the vague line between fantasy and reality makes this an instant, all-out classic.

* Things I disliked

Erm...I guess I'm not overly fond of Dax in this one. Her "Ewww she's got a worm in her belly!" is pretty cringe-worthy. It would have been nice to see Rom. Sisko has been described as a Shakespearian android, in the way that he sometimes, usually when angry, delivers his lines in a broken, over the top way but I disagree. I find his final rant and subsequent collapse completely believable and a tour de force. People object to the N-word but it was used back then by the black community as it is today. People object to the religious overtones but he IS the Emmissary of the Prophets and in this episode a Creator of Words and Worlds.

* Conclusion: How good is it?

Star Trek has given us 7 contenders for best Star Trek and even Best TV episodes of all time. Harlan Ellison boggles the mind with "City on the Edge of Forever". "Measure of a Man" brings up, debates, and settles the question of robotic and AI rights light years ahead of its time. "The Best of Both Worlds" has THE best cliffhanger and shows how good TNG can be when the writers go off the beaten path. "The Inner Light" begins with a clever idea and sees Patrick Stewart singlehandedly elevate all of TNG to new levels in a performance I scale higher than any movie performance that year. "Duet" also deals with racism but in a great clash of foes and minds. "Waltz" allows 2 arch nemeses to duke it out, mentally, verbally and physically all in the light of the deteriorating mind of Dukat, which means that Sisko is in greater danger every time he gets the upper hand.

And then there is this episode. Bold, original, creative, daring. It deals with reality, racism, and passion. The directing and acting is stellar. The dialogue and monologue is out of this wold. The feel of this episode is undeniably the best in Star Trek. But is it the best overall? No. I would still choose The Inner Light and Waltz as better episodes but is deserves third place in the election. Far Beyond the Stars is DS9, Brooks, Trek, the writers, producers and directors at its absolute best and it will forever be one of my favorite episodes of any TV show. It should be mandatory viewing for kids and film students, both for its sense of oldness as well as bringing back to live an era in the past. This is a real world episode in the sci fi series most viewed as a Western setting, and it hits all the right notes. Mind-shattering. 10/10

The Last outpost is where things get a little more interesting. Here we see a decent script, decent acting, a distinctly weird planet, the Enterprise immobilized and the introduction of the Ferengi. It's the first time TNG taking a peek from behind TOS' back and attempting to stand alone.

Plot

The Eterprise is in high pursuit of a Ferengi vessel that stole some technology and is then immobilized near a planet. After some mistaken contact and deliberations it turns out the planet is the culprit and the hitherto never before seen Ferengi's are equally stuck. Picard and Taar work out an agreement of joint exploration and the two teams meet up whilst both ships lose power and life systems are in serious jeopardy. The Ferengi attack them but before the fight gets good a Guardian of a long lost Empire appears and challenges them for entering their space. Riker remains calm and convinces the Guardian that his intentions are pure. The Guardian releases both ships and both crews survive.

Good Stuff

The Ferengi ship is fascinating, as are their energy sticks/weapons. The planet looks great. You have to see the fight between the two away teams to believe it. Despite being presented in a ridiculous way the Ferengi already give us some insights into their culture (the greed and misogyny). Armin Shimmerman is always a delight. The Guardian looks great. The idea of a long gone empire with still active outposts defending the entrances to a extinct culture is worth a whole novel. I like the talk between Picard and Dr Bev on the acceptability of her sedating Wesley so he won't feel death coming for him.

Things I disliked

The Ferengi move and screech like howler monkey's and it's a damn shame we had to wait until Quark to get a acceptable version of a Ferengi. How you can be stranded near a planet and completely ignore it seems like a mistake befitting a raw cadet, not an experienced crew. The fact that Troi points this out only strengthens my view of how little use she is at this point in the series. The Guardian is more or less calmed down by thoughts of Sun Tzu and we get no explanation why it drains the ships' energy or why the Ferengi weapons work at first and then don't. The ending feels so rushed because they juggle the introduction of the Ferengi, the dire situation on board of the ship, and the whole T'kon empire history and outpost, making it seem too much for 40 minutes of television and calling for a rushed ending. The cast does seem a little more at ease in their roles now.

Conclusion

It's not a bad episode nor a great one. I would call it decent but in season 1's ups and mostly downs that is not a bad thing. The Ferengi are introduced as the new nemesis of Starfleet but are so laughably pathetic this idea was quickly canned and instead we got the return of the Romulans and introduction of the Borg (so thank God the Ferengi idea ended in the trash can). Interesting premise with a failed introduction and a rushed ending, but not bad at all. 6/10.

I honestly cannot believe that the episode has, as it stands at the time of this review, a 5.2 grade and more positive reviews than negative ones. There seems to be a culture of sugarcoating old TNG episodes, but even though I adore TNG, I will not take part in euphemisms and lies. This episode is a total train wreck, arguably the worst TNG episode. I always re-watch any title I'm going to review because that seems only fair, and it's usually a fun time, but this was just unbearable.

Plot (SPOILERS)

Desperately needing a vaccine the Enterprise travels to the only world (in the vicinity) that has it and is confronted by the leader of the planet, who is love struck by Yar, kidnaps her, and then allows his first wife to battle her to the death in order to see who truly is the first wife. Picard allows this to happen because of the prime Directive and because he likes Yar's chances. Tar is victorious, her opponent saved by the crew, and the leader of the world gets relegated to the status of second husband.

Good Stuff

..........erm.........the concept of the Prime Directive, while horrible inefficient in a whole plethora of possible scenarios is at least cause for discussion and philosophical debate and that's a good thing. There are some small moments with Wesley, Data and LaForge that are pleasant and a first attempt at character development and backstory building. Patrick Stewart is decent as he always is.

Things I despised

Tasha Yar is unlikeable and Denise Crosby plays her over the top and unconvincing. Over the top acting also applies to the entire bunch of guest stars. Yareena, Yar's opponent is uninteresting and the planet's leader is so over the top you wonder where the hell the writers and director were when they shot this. It's clearly a redundant TOS script. The fight to the death is filmed well and scored well but it is between 2 characters you couldn't possibly care any less about. If both were to die you would chug your beer and doze off.

The Prime Directive makes its grand entrance and immediately we see how flawed it is. It would hypothetically call for whole civilizations to perish when the Federation could easily prevent it, and it leaves no room for when a Starfleet vessel encounters a species with a less than honorable code of conduct. Which means that when your officer is meant to fight to the death or someone is about to be executed for falling into flowers (don't worry, we'll get to that in a later episode) the Directive orders you to let it happen, but of course you won't. The Directive seems to be in place to prevent Starfleet from using its usually vastly superior technology to stand in the way of other civilizations' culture or development, but every single time this creates the problem that OTHER cultures DON'T have a similar Diretive, making the no.1 rule of the Federation comforting on paper but usually pointless in the real world. In the episode "The Drumhead" a prosecutor is shocked by the amount of times Picard has violated the PD but that just shows how imperfect it is. It seems to imply that if the Borg were to assimilate a species the Federation would just shrug and call it a vital aspect of Borg culture that we shouldn't condemn because that's arrogant. Right...

Conclusion

A seriously flawed episode that wasn't meant for TNG highlighting the least interesting character and introducing Starfleet's golden rule that is so flawed you wonder why they even bother to bring it up. They are not meant to aid, destroy, disrupt or affront the customs of other cultures and Star Trek went on to do little else for the rest of its existence, no matter what series or movie. The PD seems reasonable until you leave the shipyards and venture out into space. The acting is over the top, the story is boring, the ending is unsatisfying. I love TNG but this is not worth your time. 2/10. Next!

I love TNG but this episode is COMPLETELY out of place. The timing, the scheduling of this episode makes no sense whatsoever. I'll try to keep to my usual format:

Plot (SPOILERS!)

The Enterprise finds a missing ship but the clearly unwell crew manages to kill themselves before an away party can help. When visiting the doomed ship, the team gets infected by a virus, and then bring it back aboard the Enterprise. Crew member after crew member succumbs to this virus, causing them to act drunk and disorderly, and slightly sexual. Events get out of hand with a planetary fragment on a collision course, a sick and drunk Wesley in control of the ship and even Data affected. Luckily Dr. Bev finds a cure, everybody is saved, and Wesley and Data get them out of the fragment's path.

Good Stuff

....................well........... I guess the episode has a good premise...? The frozen ghost ship is appropriately eerie. Patrick Stewart is always a joy... That's all.

Things I despised

It's not bad writing but bad timing. How can you have an episode with the main characters acting completely out of character, before we even get to really now them? For all we know things are always this loose and intoxicated. They use a sound effect whenever someone gets the virus because otherwise we might not catch on. This is an episode that, like the much, much better Genesis, would benefit by being paced in a later season. You can not let your cast act different than normal when the "than normal" part consists of only one previous episode.

This crew is somewhat dull and awkward and the virus doesn't help. The despicable Tasha Yar hip-shakes her way to Troi's quarters in a scene that is unnecessary. Then she seduces Data. It might sound fun but it isn't, because at this point the viewer barely knew either of them. Data shouldn't be affected; he tell's Picard that he too is a being of flesh and blood even though that's exactly what he's not! Him falling on the bridge is supposed to be funny but it's illogical and cringe worthy.

Gates McFadden and Whil Wheaton couldn't act if their lives depended on it and having them get so much screen time exposes their limited ability. Dr Crusher flirting basically consists of seeming out of breath and moving her eyes. Wesley gets the worst and most pedantic lesson about intoxication since sliced bread was invented.

Honestly, if a drunk teenager with fake voice app can commandeer the Enterprise this is the easiest to hijack ship known to mankind. Your telling me there isn't a code Picard and Riker could use in unison to regain control in case of a hostile (no matter how inadvertently) take-over? And what's with the barely intelligible and seemingly mental ill engineer who helps Wesley. So this virus makes Yar a total nympho and it makes him disabled? How does this thing operate?

Conclusion

I like TOS and they could have pulled this episode off. If I'm not mistaken the script was intended for TOS. TNG might have pulled this off in, say, season 3 or 4, but certainly not season 1, and certainly not the very first real episode (the first being the pilot). It's cringe worthy, you can guess the middle and final part before main titles, Wesley isn't in trouble, we get another Picard- Dr Bev moment that will never be truly utilized, it ends sickly sweet, giving us a hint at how TNG will wrap up most episodes. But above all, because the actors simply didn't get the chance to become comfortable with their characters BEFORE making them act out of control, everything feels fake and the usual Stewart/Spiner acting talent cannot save this thing. You end up rooting for the planetary fragment to abort this show before it gets worse (which is exactly what happens next episode). 3/10 because it's not the worst and I don't absolutely hate it.

You must forgive me for being uncharacteristically ebullient but I adore this episode. TNG was pretty light, colorful and happy, ending every episode with the usual love-in before warping away without any follow-up. The set-up may be original here and there, but the wrap- up is often easy to guess. But here, the writers take us on a completely unpredictable sleigh ride without really a happy ending.

Plot (SPOILERS)

Q offers to become part of the crew to help prepare the Enterprise (and the Federation) for what awaits them. Picard, not without reason, rejects him and Q transports them, ship and all, to an uncharted region of space. Here they are confronted by the Borg, an eerie race of cyberzombies interested only in whatever they can use to improve themselves. In a way, they are a bio-mechanical locust. Picard tries to make first contact, but the Borg aren't listening. Fleeing, the crew realize that they are hopelessly outmatched and unprepared. Picard acknowledges this and pleads for Q's help, who restores their original heading and leaves a wounded and humiliated Enterprise.

Good Stuff

I like Q but even if you hate him he is highly tolerable in this episode and there are some great Q-Guinan and Q-Picard scenes. The Borg are TNG's finest addition to the Trek galaxy. The Borg cube is equally alien and menacing inside and outside. For once the Enterprise is outgunned and takes "a bloody nose". Picard realizes that now the Borg know of the Federation's existence, they will be coming, ending the episode on a uncomfortable note.

Things I disliked

Erm......I guess you could call a cubic space ship impractical. And erm...you may question their decision to hold while the Borg ship is regenerating, as opposed to just bombarding the thing with every torpedo in your arsenal and then making a run for it. But the only real bad stuff is that we do not, in later episodes, return to some questions, such as whatever happened between Q and Guinan in the past or some emotional pay-off to the 18 dead crew-members. Or that they ruin the Borg by making them more individualistic.

Conclusion

But that is just being petty, this is a great episode and (depending on how you view Datalore) the first real TNG classic. It sets up the equally brilliant Best of Both Worlds and decent Family as well as the fine movie First Contact. Q is wonderful in this episode, as is Guinan. Some beautiful directing and a constant feeling that this is very different from what we've come to expect from TNG. 10/10 for originality and introducing the Borg and not ending on a sickly sweet note.

PS I end with this interesting notion: rather than just Q acting out or proving a good point to Picard, is it not possible that Q, who as an omniscient being will have foreseen either the Borg or Domionion (or both) attacking the Federation, may actually have intended for the Federation to stop being so optimistic and arm themselves so as not to be wiped away? Which would make his motivation at least honorable?

You will read the title and shout "Blasphemy!" but I'm dead serious. This could have been the best episode of TNG, maybe even Star Trek. I know The Inner Light, Duet, Waltz, City on the Edge and Far Beyond the Stars are better contenders but this could have been the one.

GOOD STUFF Spiner is so good in this episode he outperforms Stewart, whose defence of Data is fantastic (in fact, out of all AI and robots in all scifi I feel Data/Spiner is the best portrayed). Spiner has the impossible task of playing a man who desperately wants to love his daughter but simply can't, and does so beautifully. The viewer wants him to show emotions but must accept that it's impossible, which makes us like Data even more. Lal is sweet; Guinan has some great scenes.

THINGS I DESPISE 1)I hate Starfleet and the Federation. Sounds weird but every single time we are reminded that both are open minded liberal institutions that are friendly, not racist or sexist, kind to other cultures and respectful of rights. And every episode in every ST proves the exact opposite. Q is quite right in his criticisms, as is Quark. Just think of all the time officers are racist toward the Ferengi, Klingons, Cardassians, Romulans, even Vulcans. Whenever a species is on the verge of warp flight they make contact, which must be utterly overwhelming, and offer membership. When any other race does this they are enraged, calling it conquering and annexing.

2)I hate TNG's need to end shows with happiness. If there was ever any episode that needed a camera panning to Troi in tears it was this one, but it's the usual techno-babble solution and let's warp outta here.

CHANGE THIS 1)Boot the admiral. Starfleet is outraged that a loyal, sentient, fully righted officer dares to have a child and sends the worst admiral they can find to show how arrogant and criminal they are. They accept Data's rights and want to steal his child for no reason, an act of utter barbarity. The hypocrisy is so enraging here. Data himself asks whether any other officer asks permission before reproducing and he's absolutely right. Even the IMDb synopsis poses "Data creates an offspring without regards to the ramifications for Star Fleet". Total BS. Starfleet has neither to fear ramifications nor feel the need to meddle. Again, a loyal officer has a child: Oh no!!! Let's ignore both their rights and confiscate the child.

2)The ending sucks and the worst part is they had the perfect ending in another episode. Change the ending of "The Offspring" and "In Theory"; it would have been unbelievably strong and telling if Data had deleted the program because it was flawed, sit there alone in standby mode, and be glad to see Spot. He's not a dick for liking Spot as much as Lal, but that is the full extent of his love for anyone. It would have been such a deep ending, again forcing the viewer to accept Data's limitations.

WHAT TO DO WITH THE FREED TIME (sans admiral) Include a scene with Troi in which Data talks about his need to love her and his inability to do so; have him talk with LaForge about his achievement, how proud Soong would have been, how much it means to him to no longer be alone.

Conclusion A fine TNG episode with brilliant work from Spiner and Stewart (TNG's two finest actors); more depth to TNG's most beloved character; Starfleet as annoying as ever; the ending as annoying as ever. "I will feel it for both of us" one of the best lines by a guest actor. A wonderful episode that could have been the best.

8/10 but it could have been a solid 10/10.

Birdemic is the worst movie I've ever seen. Actually, since it has no acting, story or direction, it might not even be called a movie. There's so much wrong with it that I'll just briefly summarize, but it's really better if you watch it yourself, because only then will you believe the bad press this "movie" gets.

"Plot" (Spoilers!!!)

So the movie begins with a dude driving (this environmentalist movie has more driving in it than Mad Max and no, those aren't hybrids) aimlessly until he gets to a restaurant. Clearly the sound guys already left to go striking or something because the waitress messes up saying "Hi!" (because it's the first line of the movie I thought it was my sound that was off). And from here the movie goes downhill.

The lead male then stalks the lead female, who of course gives the creep her number, they go on a date that will forever be called CringeFest 2010. They then go to an abandoned club with a fake singer, then to a hotel where they…sort of…do it…? Then, thank God, the worst CGI birds in recorded history attack by dropping down, crashing into stuff, causing an…explosion? I've seen birds hit windows and explosion isn't among the most likely results. But whatever.

They escape swinging coat hangers like back alley abortion doctors and escape, meet some people, people die, they move on, meet a doctor, who tells them it's all caused my man-made global warming without explaining how that turns birds into killer zombie kamikaze demons with explosive wings. Then, my favorite part, they convince 2 recent orphaned children that their car is the safest place (I'm not making this up, it felt like a prequel scene to Child Molestation 3, which would be a better movie than this). They meet a hippie tree hugger who blames humanity some more, they drive of, reach the shore, go fishing, and watch peacefully as the birds…just… sort of fly away…?

Bad stuff

All of it is bad. The acting, the lighting, camera work, directing, editing, special effects. It's all just so…inadequate, but not in a good way. The main character is the worst (The Room, for all its flaws, had Johnny, who may have looked like a mix of rock-star, meth-addict and rapist but was still oddly likable): he's literally a Ken-doll piece of plastic with bad timing and a high creep factor. A soldier who has been shooting every time we see him actually says: "Why don't we give peace a change?" Was this written by a child? The plug for An Inconvenient Truth is so unsubtle they might as well just have played the trailer. And the birds, oh the birds, they elevate Birdemic from a really, really bad movie to a crime against humanity. But I lost my temper the most (even more than when they need gas, get gas, and drive off without it a little later after the most underwhelmed robbery attempt) when they went fishing. Fishing! Can you imagine ANY ACTIVITY more likely to attract birds than pulling a struggling fish out of the water?

Conclusion:

I like bad movies. Every month I meet up with friends, we eat pizza and drink beer, and watch 2 or 3 of the worst sounding movies we can find. Since I'm really not such a bad guy and I really do love bad movies, I'm not inclined to give them the lowest marks. The Sharknado's have a few laughs; The Room is oddly charming; Kung Fury was hilarious, Rubber was weirdly intriguing and so on. But Birdemic? I'm sitting behind my laptop thinking of anything good I saw but I'm literally blanking out. If I was forced at gunpoint to name two good things about the movie I'd say that the girl was kinda cute and the cute girl's mother is so sweet she brings some much needed likability in this desperately unlikeable flick. But that's not enough to make a 2 out of a 1. If they had made it as an anti-environmentalist joke it would have been somewhat funny, but it's serious about itself whilst failing and flailing at everything. I'm sorry but this is a 1/10.