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wendyschardein
Reviews
The Knight Before Christmas (2019)
Very Sweet, IF You Suspend Disbelief
Warning: this film is historically and chronologically inaccurate, the characters are all Mary Sues, and the wardrobe supervisor should get coal in their stocking for Christmas. If you go into this movie as a purist, and if you pause to complain every time they get something wrong, you're going to hate it.
That said, it's sweet, romantic, and imparts a message of kindness and generosity. The characters are likable (if too good to be true), scenery is beautiful, and if you like happy endings (not really a spoiler, because it's a Christmas movie--you knew it would have a happy ending), its not a bad way to kill an hour and a half.
Just don't expect Old English, bad teeth, Medieval morality, and cumbersome armor.
Evil: B Is for Brain (2021)
TMI
I'm not one to nitpick or criticize the fictionalization of real-life situations for entertainment purposes, but as a patient of transcranial magnetic stimulation, I need to speak up. TMS is a treatment for depression and migraines. There is no soundproof booth, no God Helmet, no goggles, and no visions of Heaven and Hell. It's painless and non-invasive, both physically and mentally, and it should not be portrayed as nothing more than a spiritual experiment.
However, in an effort to make the episode scary, the showrunners gave TMS qualities that may not only deter potential patients but outright terrify them. Personally, had I seen this before my doctor recommended TMS, I would have run screaming.
Additionally, Kristen's spiral and the continuing war between Andy and Sheryl (and the creepy Eddie shrine) only add to the confusion and frustration of the episode.
Dark Skies (2013)
Signs Meets Poltergeist, etc.
They don't even try to hide it. There are some shots and scenes that are virtual copy-and-paste jobs. These aren't Easter eggs or even parodies. It's just a jigsaw puzzle made up of as many good horror movies they could think of.
Nothing at all happens for the first nine minutes, but when the action does start, it borrows from at least half a dozen other films, with Signs and Poltergeist being the most prominent. They hit Spielberg and Shyamalan more than once, along with Stephen King and the ubiquitous found-footage movies. There was even somebody standing in a corner at one point. I kept waiting for Lorraine Warren to come in and say the basement was the door to Hell. They did have a really big plot twist at the end, except for the fact that anyone who had ever seen ANY Shyamalan movie was expecting it, and it was kind of . . . Underwhelming.
The acting wasn't great, but it wasn't bad, either, and the sets were lovely. Dark Skies might have actually been a decent thriller if they'd had a single original idea, but you would be better off skipping this one and watching all those other movies.
Enterprise: Impulse (2003)
This Episode Needs Warnings.
Couldn't tell if the episode was good or not because I spent the entire time hiding my eyes. Anyone with epilepsy or migraines should just read the synopsis.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: What You Leave Behind (1999)
Almost perfect.
Although it was a tear-jerker, there was almost nothing wrong with the series finale. My only complaint was this:
I had been waiting and hoping for seven seasons to hear Morn speak. I expected it to happen in the finale, and they teased us with it a couple of times, but it never happened. Sigh.
Supergirl (2015)
Ruined by politics
I don't mind a political statement or PSA here and there, but in the last few seasons, the series started skewing politically. They did show after show that addressed serious issues, and they weren't even subtle about it. A fictional series, especially one based on books or comics, is not the platform for such material. It started out as a good, fun show, if a bit shallow. But somewhere along the line, it stopped being about the lives of superheroes and started feeling like After School specials. Fiction should be an escape from the real world, but when they bring the real world into a show like this, it ruins it for many people.
One thing about DC comics and shows that can be frustrating is that there are lines they just don't cross. Batman won't use guns. Most of them won't kill. Supergirl's line has always been even farther back than most of the others, and they would often argue over whether someone should even be incarcerated or not. At the end, they didn't even punish the villains. Their fate was something they did to themselves, leaving our heroes' hands clean.
All that said, with one notable exception (William's murder), I liked the ending. It wrapped up nicely and everybody was happy. Sure, it was kind of a Mary Sue ending, but it still left me with a smile because we finally got that escape from reality.
Designated Survivor (2016)
Great Story Ruined by Netflix Politics
Seasons 1 and 2 of Designated Survivor were fantastic. It was a story about a good and decent man struggling to run the country after a terrorist attack kills all but a few members of all three branches of the United States government. A subplot involved an FBI agent trying to hunt down the perpetrators of the heinous act. While politics were involved, the show wasn't -about- politics, and it showed no bias, only a man bent on doing the right thing in impossible situations. All the main characters were vivid, well fleshed out, and sympathetic.
Then Netflix got ahold of it.
Anthony Edwards's "Gotcha!" Easter egg was the only good thing about Season 3, which was packed with one-sided politics. It was preachy, it hit on pretty much every hot-button topic in the news these days, and every single one of the main characters suddenly changed their values and began acting grossly out of their established character, right up until the end credits of the last episode. It turned the character-driven story to a political soap opera and took a 9-star show to a 4-star in just ten episodes. Shame on you, Netflix.
Mary Magdalene (2018)
This Was a Film. Not a Book of the Bible
I loved reading some of the reviews saying oh, this is wrong, or oh, that's revisionist. There was one reviewer that proceeded to tell us what we know about Mary Magdalene from the Bible. Thank you for that, by the way. Just so you know, your Bible and my Bible differ in some of those respects.
The thing is, nobody--NOBODY--knows what really happened. It was 2,000 years ago, and the story has been told, retold, written, rewritten, translated, interpreted, and yes, CHANGED, countless times. Not to mention that many denominations have added or removed books to suit their agendas.
What I think we can all agree on was that this was a film. Yep. It was made in Hollywood. It's a fictionalized account of events from one woman's point of view. And as films go, I thought it was pretty boring.
It was slow, disjointed, confusing in some places, and for the most part, the acting was wooden. Rooney Mara, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Tahar Rahim actually managed to show some emotion, but the rest of the main cast barely phoned it in. Nobody bothered to consider standardizing accents; they all just seemed to speak in their own native accents.
There was nothing I liked at all about the way Jesus was portrayed. Joaquin Phoenix was a bad choice, his appearance was god awful (pardon the pun), and he was not the charismatic teacher that inspired so many to follow Him. True, the movie was about her, not Him, but a little effort into His character wouldn't have hurt.
What I DID like was this particular take on Judas's story. The scenery was beautiful and wardrobe (except for Jesus's) was great. So. Worth a watch, but nothing to get worked up over. In any sense of the word.
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
It's Terrible. But it's GREAT!
Anybody who has ever had to brave the madness at Chuck E. Cheese, this is the movie for you. Nic Cage is glorious. He never says a word, just rips robots to pieces and changes his t-shirts. Unfortunately, his costars do speak, or I'd have given it a 10.
The 100 (2014)
Fantastic Show Till it Wasn't
Compelling and exciting, with characters you love to hate one season and hate to love them the next. Unfortunately, due to some very poor writing in Season 7, The 100 goes out with a sour taste in a lot of people's mouths.
PYou don't throw out seven seasons worth of character development to make the story fit into a box. I have a very flexible level of disbelief suspension, but Bellamy and Indra in particular did things that were so far out of character that even I was saying they would never do that. They both deserved better.
Grease 2 (1982)
Guilty Pleasure
I loved this movie when it came out, but I kept it to myself because I thought I was the only one. Then I found out there was a whole cult following, and I thought, "Wow, somebody else gets it!"
Anybody who calls this movie inane and stupid is missing the point. Of course, it's inane and stupid. It's supposed to be. Grease 2 doesn't take itself seriously, and nobody else should, either.
It plays itself off as a parody of the cheesy 60's biker movies, and it does a beautiful job. The lighting and camera work in the "Who's That Guy" sequence go perfectly with the song. And anybody who can sit all the way through "Reproduction" without getting the joke and cracking up laughing never took sex education in high school. There's nothing wrong with sitting on the couch with your preteen kids, giggling with them when the guy sings, "He was only pokin' fun," and realizing yeah, I'm still 12.
On Location: Carlin at Carnegie (1983)
Carlin at his quotable best
I taped the show when it first came out and knew most of it by heart. Some of the bits in this one are still some if the funniest I've ever heard, and i still laugh out loud when I watch it. There are at least a dozen lines that have become running gags for our family.
Cats (2019)
I loved it.
It was beautiful (I couldn't find the CGI issues), it was emotional (I laughed and cried), and it was fun. A couple if roles could have been cast better, there were a few places where I wasnt quite sure what was going on, but overall, I really enjoyed it.
Mamma Mia! (2008)
Bad casting, singing, and acting.
Loved the play. Love the music. Hated the film.
First of all, the math doesn't work. They mention in the film that Sophie is 20. Then they bring in a cast that were in their 40's and 50's when she was born. Meryl Streep is way too old to play a woman whose mother kicked her out of the house for getting pregnant. The casting of her to play Donna is laughable.
Let's move on to the singing and acting. Several cast members can't carry a tune in their back pocket. Also, there are a lot of brilliant, well-respected, award-winning actors and actresses here, and most of them seemed to have forgotten all that.