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Derek (2012)
Meh
I usually like Gervais so I checked out the pilot, but this one just doesn't do it for me. The humor and drama are horribly imbalanced, the musical score is too non-stop downtrodden, and I sometimes feel very uncomfortable laughing at the character of Derek. I got a few good laughs in the first half of the episode, but it turned to some really overwrought sentimental drama in the second half and just didn't let up. I didn't find that I felt for the characters or appreciated the sweetness they were trying to insist upon, rather I felt like I was trying to be suckered into feeling for them. "I'M CRYING, FEEL FOR ME!"
I prefer shows like Orange is the New Black which are rooted firmly in comedy and tease us with some drama, or shows like Breaking Bad and Rescue Me where the high drama is off-set by equally over-the-top humorous moments. Maybe this show will find it's balance, but I'm not personally compelled to keep watching.
Under the Dome (2013)
just. awful.
I know that Stephen King mini-series aren't known for their high quality, but I usually love them anyway. But this...I don't know what this is. With 13 planned episodes it's certainly not a mini- series, and it's a HUGE bastardization of the book, which I thoroughly enjoyed reading. I really rooted for the characters in the book (well, the "good guys" at least) but with the series I'm actively rooting for everyone to just die already. All of them. The acting is awful (which may be poor direction and not the fault of the performers) the dialogue is atrocious and it feels like absolutely nothing important is at stake. Again, I hope they all die in that dome, I hope it happens next week and I hope CBS just cans it after that. (But being that CBS is the television equivalent of an outhouse they'll probably keep it running as long as they can.)
Winter Passing (2005)
Sleeping would be a better way to spend your time
This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen, despite touting a cast that I adore. Painfully aware of itself and desperate to fit the "indie" mold, this film is the pits. You know those girls in college that brood and "secretly" cut themselves but then go out in tank tops because they want you to know how deep they are? That's basically the same thing this movie is trying to do: prove that it's naturally deep when it's just a calculated genre film (sad that indie is now a genre instead of a means of producing something via independent financing). If you're that eager to waste your time I suggest taking a nap over watching this movie.
Hostel (2005)
Eli Roth is a comedic GENIUS
Cabin Fever was the first film to get me laughing out loud in a movie theater. I absolutely worshiped the sick humor; however, I did not find it scary. Hostel, on the other hand, was even funnier and much more intense. The first half of the film is all set up, and the scariest images for these 45 minutes are all nasty fake boobies. But when the ball gets rolling it plows everything in it's path, faster and harder than all the whores in Amsterdam combined! I must say, by the time I saw it I was kind of desensitized to a lot of the graphic imagery because of all the preemptive hype. Yes, it gets nasty, the "eye-ball scene" is gross, but I really didn't think that much of the film was any more graphic than an episode of nip/tuck. I debated for a long time as to whether-or-not i wanted to see this because I'm really squeamish, but I'm soooo glad I did. It was an absolute blast, one of the most satisfying movies I've sat through all year.
Wishful Thinking (1997)
keep a bucket beside you...
...because this movie will make you barf until you bleed. I caught maybe the last half hour of it on TV last night and cannot imagine how broke poor Jon Stewart must have been to accept a role in this movie- my heart goes out to him. And how did they manage to make someone as hot as Jennifer Beals look like a dumpy bag lady? I don't know what the actual plot line was supposed to be, something about affairs and other melodrama I don't care for when so poorly executed. I've seen high school a/v nerds exhibit better judgment over use of visual effects. At one point things turn black and white and deep meaning is supposed to be exhibited through lots of slo-mo. Pass on this one. You definitely have better things to be doing.