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The Siege (2023)
4/10
Pretty boring
16 March 2023
Had a good concept but the execution was severely lacking. Seriously, the synopsis sounds great, and the opening scene sets you up for a ride, but then it all falls apart. It spends too much time with slow, stilted dialog and just a general snail pace. The biggest problem is it wants to be more epic, grander, wilder than it really is.

The main character, who is an impressive hulk of a man, lacks any charisma. His grungy voice and quips, I assume trying to harken back to bygone days of a "man's man" rogue, just didn't work. The other 2 women's characters weren't memorable, either. Not to bust on anyone's acting chops but this wasn't the movie where anybody shines.

The action was a real letdown, so those hoping for a banging good time with bullets flying and explosions will similarly be disappointed. There's minimal gunplay, with the usual "trained assassins/soldiers that can't hit the broad side of a barn" mindlessness, and the fisticuffs are even less impressive. For Stisen's stature, you'd expect him to be out there ripping people new ones but apparently, he's just an average joe when it comes to any physical combat.

Returning to the idea of it wanting to be bigger than it is, there are many over-the-top moments that feel ill-placed. In one scene, the heroes go down a fire escape while a bad guy rains not a hail, but a full-blown hurricane of bullets from a heavy machine gun at them for a good minute. I'm talking 1000+ rounds, and of course every bullet just ricochets off the railings, posing no threat. It's too ridiculous for this movie and feels like they couldn't commit to being too wild (most likely for budget reasons). The movie might've been better had they just gone nuts with it and not have it be such a serious affair.
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9/10
Actually pretty good
10 October 2022
Call it bootleg Watchmen or whatever, and maybe you're already riding high from The Boys and this doesn't seem appealing, but it's a lot better than it looks.

I admit that it starts off feeling like a bad Youtube production, somewhat amateurish and cheesy (expecially DDP as Hawk). But eventually that style-over-substance pays off once you get used to it. The constant mix-up of multiple visual genres (animation, pixels, claymation, etc.) really takes it up a notch compared to similar shows.

I thought it had a great overall story with some unexpected twists, and some really great action/fight scenes. Some of the more interesting supes were underutilized though (like Golden Goddess).
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2/10
Awful
6 January 2022
Just awful.

Unless this was a college final project there was no excuse for creating this. You're better off watching any of the billion Scooby Doo episodes or movies if you're in the mood for animated spooks.

Seriously awful.
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Grudge (I) (2021)
8/10
Pretty good
14 October 2021
I can't remember seeing any Turkish movies but I'm sure I've seen a couple. Anyways, I thought this was great, in reality an 8.5. The story was unique (at least to me), interesting, and filled with lots of suspense and twists.

You have to suspend your disbelief a little extra as to why the lead didn't just tell the truth immediately since no one would've doubted him, but it's not such a big deal to get hung up on. And in the great words of Pitch Meetings, "it's so the movie can happen!" which was well worth it.

Probably in the top 3 of Netflix produced movies all year, which isn't exactly much since I find most of them highly lackluster.
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Malignant (I) (2021)
7/10
Good but I expected something entirely different
12 September 2021
It's really not bad, it actually has a good story and the gore is especially scrumptious. But it gets muddled by some cheese and fluff.

The trailer makes it seem more serious than it actually is. In reality, the movie is comparable to the "Scream" franchise, with lighthearted elements sprinkled throughout a whodunnit manhunt. And that threw everything off for me throughout the whole thing as they didn't seem to quite gel with each other. Add to the mix some erroneous characters like the lovelorn forensics expert and you'd wish they had either tighten the reins a little or pulled more towards a single direction.

But the last 30 min or so is a must-see.
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9/10
Shame we were the only 2 people in the theater
12 September 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I didn't know anything about this movie beforehand, only seeing it in the theater list the day before but the trailer seemed decent and I'm a fan of Bernthal. AMC had it listed as a "thriller" instead of "comedy" so that also played a big part into deciding to see it.

Really not much to say other than I thought the drama on point and you really get a good feeling of the character's histories and friendship. It is 100% dialogue heavy so you have to pay attention to get that info, so if that's not your thing then don't bother.

The biggest drawback is that the actual "thriller" part of the story doesn't occur until well after an hour or so and then the movie is over in practically a flash. It's not so bad as everything before it was great but I would've liked to have seen it have a larger role. Plus you can immediately tell what the twist is as soon as a certain character is introduced so the impact doesn't come off strong.

I'm glad I took a chance on this and hope it gets more exposure.
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Reminiscence (2021)
9/10
Enthralling!
30 August 2021
I didn't expect to see such a lie score here. I thought the movie had it all: drama, action, romance, and most of all, cohesion. I don't get the complaints about the story/plot, seemed pretty straightforward and engaging. Granted, there are some cliches and predictables, but nothing too obnoxious.
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The Protégé (2021)
7/10
Honestly an 8 but the sound mixing was terrible
23 August 2021
The dialogue levels were just as bad as Tenet so it automatically loses a point. Stop ruining good movies with mushy voice volume!

Besides that, it's a thrill ride, like a blend of John Wick and Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Everybody brings their A-game with great comedy, witty banter (from what I could hear, at least) and Maggie Q still bringing those sweet moves. Definitely would like to see it become a franchise.
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7/10
Okay I guess
7 August 2021
To say it's better than the other one is an understatement, this one cranks everything up from a more interesting mission with higher stakes to the gory bodycount. But when I saw the Snyder name pop up in the intro, my expectations sank a little, especially coming off of Army of the Dead. Seemed like my fears were rightfully realized when all was said and done.

What holds it back is a lot of cheesy, inorganic humor and a fairly underwhelming big bad and final showdown. In the early scenes of the helicopter ride toward the team's objective, we see Davidson's character struggle to attach a standard seatbelt. Is that really supposed to be a cool joke? Later we get introduced to Ratcatcher sleeping in bed and unwilling to get up when summoned. "Millenials," Cena quips. Hilarious, right? There's a few more of those where that came from. There's also the many time jumps that interrupt the flow.

Then there's the end boss, which is too campy/cartoony (both in style and substance) and uninteresting for the tone of the movie, which ranges from sarcastic to serious. It might fit in the comic book universe and those fans might get a kick out of it, but it didn't jive with a layperson like me. Almost "Galactus" as a pink cloud kind of thing.

Overall, I found it to be a "one and done" kind of deal. Not terrible but nothing that floored me to be craving another viewing in the near or far future. James Gunn's name gets broadcasted for "Guardians of the Galaxy" but I felt this was the opposite of that franchise with all the wrong ideas.
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The Nest (2021)
6/10
Not too shabby
6 August 2021
Definitely had the creep factor on high and I couldn't wait for the bug reveal after being teased constantly with the teddy bear. Other than that there's not much to say, the actors did well and the story was intriguing but the movie won't make your evening or stick with you for long.
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7/10
Shakespearean Pulp Fiction
6 August 2021
Like all movies I went into this blind but I assumed it to be a medieval fantasy-type epic. Needless to say, I was a bit disappointed on that front. I didn't find it boring, but I certainly didn't see much rhyme or reason to anything.

The movie starts out well, setting an eerie mood with some witchcraft and the eponymous knight issuing his challenge. Afterwards it descends into not much more than disjointed parables and drawn out scenery. Was it all a fevered dream? Was each story secretly an individual test for Garwain to overcome and mature from? Damned if I know, though having some familiarity with the original story would probably help.

The movie is beautifully shot and I really digged the soundtrack. But it was too artsy and the lack of a meaningful story is a letdown.
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Cosmic Sin (2021)
1/10
Definitely a sin of cosmic proportions
4 August 2021
There's already plenty of reviews to let you know this is the greatest disaster mankind has faced on this world. This is Covid, Ragnarok, and the Sun going supernova all rolled into an aluminum foil-wrapped hot pocket in a microwave. How this ever made it from script to production is a question to which the answer, if there even is one, I can assume is safely tucked inside Pandora's Box, never to be known lest it lead to more abominations like this being made on the regular.

Completely bland and boring, from the dialogue to the set pieces. Scenes just come and go, offering no substance other than merely padding the time. Anyone giving this high marks because it's "hilariously bad" is doing a disservice by inflating the overall score (currently 2.5).

The only thing that could be considered slightly decent quality is some of the special effects work, which is still outclassed by most tv commercials. Everything else will leave you wishing you could go back in time and stop Bruce from destroying that asteroid so the world wouldn't have to suffer this.
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4/10
That's it?
2 June 2020
Maybe it's because I'm not a "film snob" that focuses on every nuance of the camera or movement of an actor's eyebrows but I just do not see the glorification of this movie. It was wholly a waste of time with no payoff whatsoever. First 30 min: the 2 main characters chat about school/work. Next 20: They listen to a man who may or may not have seen some things a decade ago in as dull a manner as possible. Next 20: they listen to a old woman who may or may not have seen some things a decade ago in as dull a manner as possible. Final 20: The mains run around towards the most generic and underwhelming ending that could happen.

The whole affair was like being stuck at a nursing home having to listen to someone that's not your relative ramble for 1.5 hours about the time they went shoe shopping because he/she lost one in the woods one day in the 1950's. You'll get more of a sci-fi kick from an episode of "Ancient Aliens."
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8/10
Surprisingly well done
15 February 2020
Like most when the first news and trailer broke, I was dumbfounded at how they could make a live-action movie, given the track record of such game films. I remained skeptical right as the movie started, but it had won me over not too long after. Is it faithful to the series? Definitely not, but it does it's own thing pretty well.

The plot is nothing special, and you'll have to just overlook some things (like how Sonic knows a ton of pop culture references despite basically being a hermit and somehow doesn't know what a "bucket list" is, and the obnoxious product placements), but the action and majority of the comedy is done well, although Sonic himself gets a little overly hyper and annoying sometimes. But despite initial reservations, it didn't feel too dumbed down for children. Jim Carrey shines, of course, although he exuded too much Ace Ventura than I thought suited the character. Everybody else is good.

There's some good fanservice with minor nods to the franchise, as well as an awesome end credits. Overall, definitely entertaining and worth a watch.
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Birds of Prey (2020)
5/10
A fun slog
8 February 2020
If you disliked the long character introductions in Suicide Squad then this will irk you just as well since much of the beginning is plagued by constant backtracking for character expositions. Eventually things pick up, with some awesome fight scenes for the violence we all came for. But then the slog continues as most of the characters are just plain uninteresting. Roman, Canary, Zsasz, Cassandra - all bring little to the table and aren't enticing when being the main focus.

Humor is all over the place, ranging from well-placed to "let's just have Harley say something here to show quirkiness" which can be off-putting or cringey.

Personally, I'm not a fan of kid characters in adult movies. They show things down with constant babysitting, get in the way of potentially great moments, and are just overall unnecessary characters. This and Deadpool 2 are no different, and Cassandra could've be written out. This would have been better themed with Harley trying to pull off a big heist to show off her independent chops instead of the tiresome "become a foster mother to this woeful child" trope.
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Dolittle (2020)
6/10
It's alright
18 January 2020
Dolittle and gang go on a semi-swashbuckling adventure in search of a legendary macguffin, causing minor ruckuses here and there.

Really not much to say, it's a decent ragtag adventure story that's not going to rock your world or anything else as nothing really shines here. The animal CGI is impressive for the most part, but there's just way too many of them vying to be "the one" but don't really do much except a scene or two. RDJ brings a good sense of eccentricity and somberness, but let's be real, that accent is Atrocious (yes, with a capital A). It's too wispy and low, making his lines unclear many times.

The humor is heavily skewed towards kids, so expect it to mostly fall flat for adults. There were more kids at my showing of Bad Boys 3 than for this one!
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Crawl (I) (2019)
5/10
Ridiculous
28 July 2019
What could've been a good disaster movie to at least a cheesy but decent creature feature is thrown into the soileds hamper by constant insults to intelligence. From the beginning it's plainly obvious that the 2 characters don't want to be saved, and their boneheaded decisions throughout reassure that time after time. At one point the dad and daughter discuss the unspoken trauma that broke their family apart. The reason for the parent's divorce? The mom was upset the dad was spending too much time with the daughter and her swimming ambitions. That's right, folks, being a good parent can destroy your marriage. Add to that the impossibility of shrugging off multiple gator attacks/wounds without any physical hindrances and you have the perfect storm of garbage on a stick. It does have some nice, albeit expected, jump scares, though. Save for a free Redbox rental.
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10/10
Non-stop hardcore adrenaline rush!
19 May 2019
Ups the ante in every way from the previous film: action, kills, backstory/lore, remarkable characters, etc. If you were disappointed that Common wasn't returning then you would at least find someone to like here (although not as much for me).

I only have a couple minor complaints. One would be that some of the CGI used for knives and such were too noticeable at times, not exactly wonky but breaks the immersion. The other is on several occasions there's a small delay before either Keanu or an enemy reacts when it's obvious it's their move, especially when multiple enemies around and 1 stands there for a second before attacking/shooting. At one point there's a reload stand-off, and to me it appeared that the enemy actually finished first, so he has to wait for Keanu to load for a split-second before he can get shot. Once again, this isn't game-breaking but there is a certain loss of grace (my eyes, of course, may have deceived me).

There most definitely needs to a 4th entry!
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8/10
A childhood realized
11 May 2019
I haven't touched a Pokemon game since the original Red and Yellow oh so long ago but I could never forget those characters. Naturally, I was at a loss with all the newer ones that are featured more prominently but they do give justice to a lot of those classic ones. With that said, if you came solely for the Pokes then you wouldn't be disappointed. They are absolutely adorable, if you've never had a wish for them to be real then you certainly would now!

The movie itself is a lot of fun, consisting mainly of interactions between the various Pokemon. There are moments where it seems to drag a little, and some scenes were unnecessary. Being that this isn't a movie about battling, you may be disappointed in not seeing many flashy moves being thrown about, which would've been simply amazing to see. Ryan Reynolds is a natural Pikachu, but I felt the shtick got tiresome at times. The humans varied from alright to "Next scene, please!"

Overall, it's a great movie but only recommended for fans. If you don't know the difference between a Charmander and an Eevee, then you won't get much enjoyment.
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The Intruder (I) (2019)
8/10
Really good
11 May 2019
Very suspenseful as Dennis Quaid perfectly plays his role and steals the show (not that Meagan Good and Michael Ealy weren't on form either). The movie does well with constantly building up the unsettling nature of Charlie's intrusion, while balancing the line between "Get to it already!" and "I wonder how much further can he go?" As others have said, the movie is fairly straightfoward and predictable at times, and the wife is unrealistically too trusting/compassionate, but it doesn't hamper anything. Definitely recommended.
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El Chicano (2018)
5/10
Basically Mexican "Batman Begins", but not as spectacular
6 May 2019
Was hoping this would be a surprise hit but it was pretty lacking. Takes way to long before it kicks into gear since most of the major events/details are done previously in the background. So the audience is always playing catch-up blind. But when the action comes it is nicely violent and gory. Then the movie is over just as quickly.

I didn't particular care for the story, which involves rival gangs, the cartel, and the mystery of the lead's twin brother's death (not a spoiler, it is established very early on and this site's synopsis isn't exactly comprehensive). The movie opens with them as kids one night, then jumps forward in time 20 years. Unfortunately, we see nothing of them growing up so you don't get a good grasp of the relationship drama that the film wants to portray. Some of it felt overly convoluted/confusing, other times like basic scene padding.

But on the other hand, this is a decent origin story so if there's ever a sequel then they should be able to skip all this fluff and really knock it out.
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Those Who Can't (2016–2019)
10/10
Absolute blast!
3 May 2019
Been with the show since the very 1st episode came out, and now that I've finally finished the 3rd season (which was well worth the wait) this is still my favorite current show. All the cast is great (extra kudos to my secret crush Maria Thayer whom I've enjoyed since the "Eagleheart" days), the wit is spot on, and the jokes are both outrageous yet still within realms of credibility. They especially play well with irony and flipping things to the opposite spectrums.

I hope there's a 4th season in the works but I pray it never ends.
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Black Summer (2019–2021)
2/10
A cruel, cruel summer (for intelligence)
26 April 2019
If this is the zombie apocalypse we have to look forward to, then I definitely don't want to be a part of it because the only virus to fear is mass stupidity. It's as if the writers simply wanted to make a zombie show, but either had no clue how or simply decided not to bother trying to build a credible world around the concept. So the show has some good personal drama for the characters, but it's wasted by overflowing contradictions and illogical actions.

From just the first 2 episodes alone:

1. Cars literally littered across the city, yet no one ever bothers to check if any are in working condition and just drive away. On top of that, while one group drives around in circles, they notice a black pick-up truck suspiciously tailing them. Their apparent motive? Gas. Whoever wrote that has to be an actual zombie.

2. No one ever bothers to close doors or create a barrier to stop the zombies chasing them. No joke or exaggeration. Episode 4 is completely about one man being constantly chased by a single zombie, and if you took a shot for every doorway he passes through without closing a door you would die from liver failure before the episode ended.

3. Sun, who only speaks Korean, and even mentions that she doesn't speak English, can conveniently understand it. In one scene she even perfectly sings a song in English! I don't know about you, but I certainly don't know the lyrics to songs in a language I'm not fluent in, let alone starts singing one out of the blue compared to my native tongue (P.S. I'm not multilingual).

There's really just too much to list but these are the most prominent ones throughout every episode, with each ep getting more ridiculous as they go and capping off in the purest insanity of the finale. If this had been made as an actual comedy, it might've been one of the greatest. But a serious story and max stupidity don't mix.

I sincerely hope Netflix doesn't invest in a 2nd season.
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Hellboy (2019)
7/10
Didn't have the charm
16 April 2019
Felt like it traded too much for style over substance. I certainly welcomed the R-rating, which it embraces in spades with over-the-top gore and hard action, but the story was lackluster. It seems like they wanted to appeal too much to the hardcore fans or that you needed a certain familiarity with the comics (which I don't). Scenes and characters are just thrown out there without growing into them so they don't have much weight. And Nimue was neither a convincing nor interesting enough villain despite the hype of the destruction she would bring. All this leads up to an unsatisfying conclusion just when the brown stuff appears to hit the fan.

Though I haven't read the original comics, consensus says this is a more faithful adaptation. But what I like about the previous movies was the whimsy. This one has a more serious tone, which makes the injected humor feel forced and awkward. Needless to say, I didn't find it completely funny most of the time.

Overall, though, it's not necessarily bad but didn't live up to its potential.
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Little (I) (2019)
7/10
Not bad, but needed a little more (pun intended)
16 April 2019
Overall, it was enjoyable. Rarely roaringly hilarious, but full of moments for quick chuckles and smiles despite the overt familiarity. Which leads into the main problems in that it doesn't really push any new boundaries or pull any surprises. The jokes are standard for the situations, and those scenes are also what you'd come to expect if you've seen many in the genre.

But I had fun, and the cast are all great.
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