Okay first I have to say WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE!, seriously complaining about historical accuracy, that they speak English and that their teeth are too good?!? What do you expect from a blockbuster by Roland Emmerich? Go and watch Discovery Channel if you want to see the real deal.
I'm actually quite defensive when it comes to movies like 10.000 BC because some people just can't judge a movie for what it is trying to be and this movie was certainly not trying to be a documentary. If I watch a movie like this I allow myself to be lead into an alternate world and enjoy it as what it is, or in the case of 10.000 BC what it was trying to be.
When I sat down to watch this movie I was pretty sure that I was going to like it, or at least enjoy it, because I was bringing the right attitude or so I thought. Since it got so many bad reviews my expectations were low and I only expected to be entertained. Well, I was wrong.
10.000 BC is about some guy going after some girl he is in love with (why we don't know exactly), because she gets kidnapped (why should we care) along with other villagers by some slave traders. He, of course, sets out to rescue her and to free all slaves. Okay, normally I don't write summaries in my reviews but since it is so easy to do for 10.000 BC I thought , what the heck. Don't be fooled this is not a plot outline. Nothing more happens, there is no side story, subplot or twist. Needless to say the story is like something a 12 year old might have written. Shame I can't say the same for the dialogue, which is FAR worse. I can't say cheesy or corny, because that's what I expected, it was just plain awful.
The acting was so bad I could hardly bear watching it. HAlf of the reason why I was watching it in the first place was because of Camille Belle. She basically carried the entire When A Stranger Calls remake, but in 10.000 BC it was like she didn't bother to do anything besides being physically there in a scene. I know I know, many say she probably realized what a crappy movie this is going to be, but she is a professional actress and she should behave like one.
The CGI was acceptable at best. The creatures always seemed out of place and just didn't fit with the actors. They looked like they were cut out of a video game (not a recent one considering the quality) and copied into the movie.
The score was HORRIFIC. This boring movie could have been saved by a good score. All those journey scenes and fights, nothing, there was nothing that got the feeling across. Whoever was responsible for that shouldn't be allowed near a film EVER AGAIN.
The costume designs where terrific and so was the make-up. Of course many complain that the actors, especially Evolet was too clean, but c'mon, it's a typical summer blockbuster, what did you expect? I think they went as far with 'the dirt' as possible and endurable by the audience. Nobody complains when the hero in an action movie gets kicked and hit hundreds of times without any serious damage done. Remember, they are movies, not reality and should be treated as such. The scenery was pretty amazing and really beautiful. Even though it is kind of weird we start off in the alps, go through the jungle into the desert, but at least it was beautiful right?!?!
How can a screenplay like that be green-light? Were the actors drugged? What's up with the weird accent? Did they think nobody would notice that it is English? Many complained that it would have been better with subtitles, but I disagree. If I want to read, I buy a book not a movie theater ticket. The whole ''Why do they speak English'' problem seems to be only an issue in English speaking countries anyway. I don't mind watching the US president talk German in my movies. We dub everything, from American to Asian movies, including the new Bollywood flicks. We never have a subtitled film.
The action scenes are without action really. Whoever made the trailer did an amazing job because 10.000 BC looks action packed. Believe me, it isn't; not even the final climax battle.
All in all it's a bad movie. But not even enjoyable because it was so god damn boring. Definitely not a 1 out of 10, but also not really worth watching. I actually can't see a movie with this theme being good anyways, unless it wouldn't treat itself too seriously and that is the BIGGEST mistake of 10.000 BC. It tries to be this huge epic (without being huge, whatever they did with the budget only God knows) and also offers us a lot of fantasy and myths including weird prophecies. They should have treated it as a fun, entertaining movie in order to succeed. Noboby can judge a movie to be dumb if it's all it wants to be: entertainment.
My advice, stay away and do not rent or (god forbid) buy the DVD.
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