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Reviews
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Genuinely terrible.
It would take a college semester to inform those who aren't leatherface super fans how we've gotten to 2022s Texas chainsaw massacre David Blue Garcia's entry the 9th one in the southern slaughterhouse franchise besides everything but Toby Hooper's 1974 original...soooo forget about Matthew McConaughey's maniac and Alexandra daddario tripping over that comically short fence. It's a cocky move as Texas chainsaw massacre positions itself as a clean restart for a franchise with legendary whips. This messy as ever slasher isn't even better than some of the sequels it dares to erase. This will be remembered for its highlight reel of show stopping mutilation. Leatherface hammers shin bones into right angles, carves through influencers while live streams broadcast and punishes new age gentrifiers who hide behind moral creeds to take over impoverished towns. Leatherface comes off as a boomer who fights back with ill-conceived notes of sympathy but as far as kills are considered the movie titled massacre holds its promise. A single bus sequence with casualties galore could stand as the years most exquisitely vile display of slasher fatalities with all respects paid towards Garcia's special effects teams. It's Chris Thomas Devlin's screenplay that leaves heaps to be desired. It's terrible. The characters including sisters Melody and Lila. The school shooting survivor demand no investment nor do their journeys. Lila's haunting bullet scar sparks conversations around gun violence early only to meet the most ignorant flip of messaging later, even worse is the reintroduction of the original final girl Sally hardesty as a Lori strode
who's hell bent on killing Leatherface which couldn't be more mishandled. Both subplots feel shoehorned with advancements on the fly. Production design recalls better Texas chainsaw movies as cinematographer Ricardo Diaz captures the blistery sweltering lone Star heat on screen Hunter killer terror unfolds under Sunshine strong enough to toast sunflower fields while the abandoned town of Harlow feels claustrophobic amd isolated these sweaty visual callbacks to the original endure while other elements feel like a middle finger to the franchise's legacy. Leatherface is a vastly more interesting character when he's following orders from bloodlines psychopaths. NOT operating as just another masked brute Mark Burnham's performance as leather face requires mainly physical and position less vocal in the slashers later years he can still flail the chainsaw in circular mayhem but there's nothing to leather face outside his linebacker sprints and heavy plotting feet as Melody and Lila Sarah yarkin and Elsie Fisher don't show appropriate fear when staring down a lumbering horror icon. Sadly their characters aren't written past traceable outlines. They are incredibly unlikeable. It's a shame because splatterhouse goodness this extreme feels wasted by an experience that is too focused on making audiences feel violated and miserable. You can do that and still tell a terrifically macabre tale which this fails to do. My time was wasted waiting for this film to redefine leatherface's legacy better than the sequels and remakes it leaves in the rear view mirror. Those who only value slashers based on the body count and murderous creativity might give this pure guts no substance slasher a pass otherwise 2003's Texas chainsaw massacre does dark and gray better. This movie stinks like a basement full of corpses as Leatherface becomes just another Hulk villain. This is not exactly the fresh that the franchise die hards might have otherwise welcomed. This is one of the worst movies I've seen in recent years.
In & of Itself (2020)
Pretentious emotional manipulation.
Weird. Not a magic show. More like a psychologist who thinks he knows everything. Seriously made me uncomfortable to watch. He played the audience like a deck of cards.
Monster Hunter: Legends of the Guild (2021)
Bad animation and short story.
Final fantasy movie that came out almost 20 years ago has better animation than this. I've seen GameCube cutscenes that look better. How this was even greenlit in it's current form is amazing. It's so bad do not support this level of meritocracy.
America: The Motion Picture (2021)
Enjoyable combined with an edible or two
I liked it. The comedy could have been better but it was an overall enjoyable experience for me.
Scooby-Doo and Guess Who? (2019)
The show really captures the style of the original.
The animation is honestly amazing. The backgrounds and character designs are nostalgic. Episodes 2 and 4 really show the potential of the show.