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Reviews
Reunion (2024)
Easy to see why this sat on the shelf for two years
This was a very straight-down-the-middle comedy mystery that you will likely completely forget about within days. At a 20 year high school reunion party, the person holding the event winds up murdered, and the killer is one of the guests who crashed overnight due to a snowstorm.
At first, I wasn't even sure I could finish the movie. The first 30 minutes are achingly unfunny. Once the murder happens, the film manages to kick into gear, delivering a couple of mild laughs. I actually thought the murder mystery plot was done well. Performances across the board are all great, with Jillian Bell (who usually annoys me), Jamie Chung, Nina Dobrev and Michael Hitchcock all being standouts.
I'm glad I managed to get a little bit of enjoyment out of it, so I don't feel like I wasted my time. But, with a copyright date of 2022, it's easy to see why this sat around unreleased for two years. Those first 30 minutes are an embarrassingly unfunny slog to get through, and although it improves from that point, it's hardly a laughfest.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Truth Embargo (2024)
What were they thinking?
I get what the writers were trying to do in this episode but, boy, did they fumble it badly. What were they thinking?
The episode is trying to highlight how, when youthful offenders go into the prison system, it hampers their prospects of rehabilitation. It toughens and hardens them and increases the chances of recidivism. True.
But this episode presents it through the prism of a victim feeling white guilt that the perpetrator was a young black man, feeling that if he goes to jail it will forever impact his ability to rehabilitate and lead a proper life, whereas she has money and can afford therapy to "get over it". I know rape victims react in a multitude of ways to sexual assault, but does this really ring true? "Oh, don't send him to jail, he might be a nice guy underneath it all." Huh???
The episode seems to treat this offender's actions as, "Oops, he made some bad judgement calls. He shouldn't be punished for that." No! He made a conscious decision to *CHASE* a woman into a changeroom and rape her. He only pleads guilty because he realises he won't win the trial. That's not rehabilitation. That's covering your ass.
How the prison system deals with the rehabilitation of prisoners is something this show can explore. But they fumbled it horribly here.
The Marsh King's Daughter (2023)
Suffers the same problems as the book
I wasn't a fan of the book, but how can you not watch an adaptation of something you've read? It might improve on the source material. However, that was not the case for this film. Its biggest drawback was the same as the book: an unsympathetic, unlikeable main character whose actions defy logic and put those around her in danger and possibly even kill them.
In the book, I couldn't get past Helena's contempt for her mother (who doesn't even get a name there, though she does here), and how even though she has a family of her own, in her 30s, still can't reconcile the fact that her father was a kidnapping rapist. How could you not have compassion for a parent who you KNEW had been held captive and raped, basically cut them out of your life, and still chase around your rapist daddy? It made no sense in the book and it made no sense here. Helena starts the movie as an insufferable child, and is insufferable as an adult for most of the rest.
A large subplot in the book that provides it with its only twist is cut out entirely here. Its just Helena feeling sorry for herself, until we reach an underwhelming climax in which Helena runs about the marshes with a gun (seemingly endlessly) before engaging in even more stupid actions to bring this pointless story to a close. Acting is fine across the board, but Garrett Hedlund and Caren Pistorius are shamefully wasted.
With so many good thriller books out there, how did this one score an adaptation?
Maneater (2022)
Really terrible shark movie, worse than usual
There are a lot of bad shark movies out there. Probably many worse than this, and I've probably seen some of them. I'm generally easy to please with shark movies. The simple sight of a fin ominously breaking the water's surface to stalk someone is enough to create suspense for me. Decent use of models/special effects/stock footage to depict the shark, some chase scenes, some munching...I'm happy.
But Maneater is dire.
Having recently enjoyed The Reef 2, I gave this a go, since I recognised all the headlining actors (B-grade shark horror flicks generally have no-name casts.) Second or third tier toplining cast, sure, but I've seen them all in other things and they're fine actors.
The four main credited cast members are fine, but they struggle with the script's horrendous dialogue. The supporting cast, forced to deliver this terrible dialogue as well, but with less skill, are painful to watch. The characters are mostly flat, so there's no suspense in waiting for them to get munched.
And the special effects. Boy, are they bad! The old Sy-Fy shark movies of old would have been embarrassed to have effects like this. The shark looks terrible. The film would have done better relying more on the old fin-popping-out-of-the-water trick to generate tension. The awful effects really took me out of the film.
TL;DR: Bad script, bad acting, awful special effects, no scares, no suspense...this ranks right at the bottom when it comes to shark attack movies.
So Cold the River (2022)
Atmospheri, Bethany Joy Lenz is great...but makes no sense
For most of the running time, this is intriguing and atmospheric. Bethany Joy Lenz gives a terrific performance. But it ends by refusing to tell us what the heck is going on. It's been a while since I've seen a movie so utterly ruined by an incomprehensible ending. I've read the book, and even that couldn't enlighten me as to what the **** was going on here at the end.