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tjlaverty
Reviews
Knights of the Damned (2017)
Worse than the worst Arrowstorm Film. Worse than Hawk the Slayer.
I wish I could give this film a negative number of stars. Speaking as someone who goes looking for bad fantasy films to watch on purpose, this car crash of a film was so bad I wanted to gouge out my eyes with broken glass. So bad, it wasn't even entertaining.
Poor Ross O'Hennessey- his acting was like a paradisaical island in a sea of effluent, as all the other actors were awful. But you can't polish a turd, and that dialogue was a steaming pile of it.
CGI so awful they could have gained better results with sock puppets. Dialogue written by a three year old. Upbeat acoustic blues in ye olde tavern, played on a glossy guitar.
It looks like a bunch of GCSE media students put in all the things they like (zombies, knights, dragons, warrior women) in a blender and mixed them all up, but forgot how to work a camera or edit video.
It's like someone once heard a fantasy film described to them and thought, 'I can do that'. No. No, you really can't.
PS: I am under the distinct impression that anyone giving positive reviews are mates with the production crew. I'm surprised they have any who want to speak to them after this.