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procul99
Reviews
Princess of Mars (2009)
Worst Movie of All Time?
No really, this has to be the worst movie I've ever seen - though I must admit I ffwd'd through most of it. Plot? Editing? Meaning? Any of these remotely ring any bells for the filmmakers? This looks like pieces from about six different bad movies found lying around on the cutting room floor and pasted together. Really, there is nothing redeeming about this piece of junk, I get a kick out of camp but this is neither distracting nor amusing nor in the least intriguing visually or narratively. Oops - there is no narrative. NO REALLY this is worse than Spider Baby, this is worse than Not Of This Earth, this is worse than anything on the SciFi channel and possibly less watchable than anything with Adam Sandler.
Grandma's Boy (2006)
Please Don't Breed!
Honestly, this may be the worst movie I've ever seen. And I've seen Spider Baby, and Not of This Earth. Heck I've even seen 200 Motels. Having just discovered the Freaks and Geeks series and being surprised at the acting ability of Linda Cardellini I checked out the reviews here and decided this was worth a try. That is the LAST time I will ever rely on a review at IMDb. I didn't realize that MORONS were writing IMDb reviews while they were waiting for their calls to be answered on AM radio.
This movie is so far beyond bad that mere words cannot express the wretchedness of its vomitous state. Seriously.
Watch this movie if you think Will Farrel is really really really funny, if you think Adam Sandler is a comedic genius. Watch this movie but PLEASE DON'T BREED!
Private Schulz (1981)
Absolutely Brilliant
From conception to screenplay and the performance of every actor, this is a true gem. The humor is deep and subtle and as such it is not for NASCAR fans nor for anyone who has ever thought Adam Sandler should have been allowed to survive infancy. Richardson is note-perfect, as is the under-the-radar depiction of Hilter as a seemingly-rational nutjob. For those who are pining after a DVD release, I have only one word: Usenet. If that one word has no meaning for you, do a search on 'Newsgroups' and find out how to use programs like Agent, which are as easy to use as any internet browser. You would not believe the power of the dark side, young Skywalker.
The Long Goodbye (1973)
An Abomination, An Insult to Chandler
This movie is early proof that Altman is a lousy director, full of himself and his very bad ideas. After trying to see his "genius" for years now, I'm convinced that M*A*S*H was a fluke, created much in spite of the director by his amazing cast (who also thought he was a fool).
The Long Goodbye is one of the best novels of the 20th century. Yes, it's only a "detective story" but Chandler's writing and the depth of his characterizations make his book stand next to the best of American fiction, including Faulkner and Hemingway and Fitzgerald. If you truly love and appreciate Chandler - and Marlowe - you will likely find this "adaptation" absolutely atrocious.
The movie also features an obnoxious and tuneless song, horribly sung, which endlessly blithers on and on. I thought this awful movie would never end, much as the song. As other reviewers here have noted, this movie is an insult to Chandler, and to Marlowe.