Reviews

Ok most people seem to not understand. You are NOT supposed to like this character. That was on purpose. If I met her in real life, I would hate her so much. But watching her in a movie not giving a F, and her ridiculous potty mouth (like Sweet Dee but way over exaggerated) and making her terrible, cringy, but hilarious raps through the whole movie was priceless. I liked the movie overall, I just wish they had explain what was actually going on. What was the deal with the girl/lady? And the creature. I have no idea. But fun either way!

If you don't like vulgar (very vulgar) humor- this movie is definitely not for you. She has a VERY dirty potty mouth.

But no this was not a good movie. It was like a Lifetime romance "horror" movie that was definitely inspired by Ready or Not but with Vampires. It was so dull. So much time waiting for something to actually happen that wasn't "Romance" based. And the ending had potential but just made absolutely NO sense. Please tell me why she stabbed him through the heart and he aged but did not die. And then the two fighting girl vampires are stabbed through the stomach and they both turn to dust. This was shortly after the old lady said the only way to kill one was stake to the heart, cut off their head, or burn them. This is a pass from me.

Seriously, why don't they just have it written across the screen instead of having the actresses read them out loud awkwardly as they type. But that is a small part. I could tell in the opening scene that I was in for a bad movie. Watching the main cop lady act was cringeworthy. She was definitely not believable as a cop, either. Other than that, the movie was just so poorly written and acted, and the dialogue was ridiculous. I felt like I was watching a middle school play.

Also, what kind of cop takes a little kid in to see a deranged serial killer?? Such poor writing.

But this one, I just don't know. It feels different. It's all the same characters, but it felt like a totally different show. The music was a huge part of season 1, building the intensity of the story. It was lacking from this episode which made it feel a little empty. I am hopeful it will get better. I do love Fezco though!

This movie really made no sense. When it first started with the grandpa and boy I could tell it was gonna be one of those cheesy acted movies. But then cut to 20 years later and the real cast comes in and it seemed to pick up and possibly become a fun and only slightly cheesy movie. Nope. Aside from a few funny moments before the first scare, that is really all it offered. Then comes the "scary' barefoot girl. And the witch huts. And the weird creepy guy in the woods. I was interested until this point. Except THESE WERE NEVER EXPLAINED!!!!! Huge flaw, as what was even the point?!?!? Because then the movie took a whole other direction, it's like they weren't sure what they wanted to do with the plot. The funniest and best character died first, and then the movie got super cheesy again. With the forced dialogue and cringy acting. The lighting in the woods was terrible. It was basically daylight all around them in the middle of the night. Then out of nowhere they try and force this emotional scene with the main guy about his brother, all while hiding from a monster in an RV and speaking at FULL VOLUME the whole time. Like they can't even speak in hushed tones while they are hiding?? :D :D I could not even take it seriously at this point. Not to mention the kid has zero reaction when he finds out he has been missing for 20 years, hasn't aged a day, and this was his old childhood friend all grown up. Right, and why did they monster need to break out of the door that the people shut, when it was HIS lair? It wasn't even locked, and he was literally just out ten minutes ago killing the other guy. And another thing, does the door open inward or outward, because it kept changing. Also, the kid said there were a bunch of monsters, so why did the stairs catch on fire when that ONE monster was set on fire? I could forgive the acting and dialogue a little if there weren't so many glaring plot holes and things that just made no sense. That's just bad writing.

This movie was clearly going for a Rosemary Baby feel, poorly. At only an hour long thins movie drags. No real explanation to anything, and no real build in tension. Trying to go for an is she crazy or not only works if you give us something to work with. Which they don't. Minor things here and there that don't add up to how the main character is feeling and acting. Is there really a deal with the devil or has she just gone crazy with grief? We will never know, mostly because I think the writers don't even know. Skip this one and watch Rosemary's baby instead.

This movie was way too long for what it is. It dragged on and you think with all the visions and weird happenings it's some kind of satanic cult or something. No. They are just selling the babies for money. OK. And it's unwatchably gross in some parts. And some stupid choices made by the main character towards the end that kept making me think yeah right.

This movie never really even had a climax. It kind of just happened. All that emotion that is supposed to build in a movie like this, well it just fell flat. I am a Jlo fan and a fan of Milo (hello Gilmore girls!) but the performances just fell flat. Maybe because the chemistry between the two onscreen was poor. But the feelings for the characters in general also wasn't great. This wasn't a bad movie, but it wasn't a good one either. They broke up Jlo and her boyfriend before we even had a chance to like him or like them together. And that just HAPPENED. And then the melding of the plot of finding her long ago daughter that she gave up for adoption. When I realized that's what they were doing I actually said out loud, " Oh THAT's what they are doing with this movie?" with an eye roll. Ha. So cheesy. They just tried to put to much here and then rushed all the little details so it just ended with me feeling unsatisfied with it all.

Starting with ehr three story house: first you cut this sheet cake in half, and then in half again. Stack them up and viola! you have this beautiful house! Yeah, not quite. Everything she makes is stunning. There's no doubt about that. But there was no intention of letting the audience in on the how to's of any of it through this platform. The acting was pretty bland as well, robotic even. Though I liked the puppets. I watched the whole thing because I'm a creative type and i love the macabre and was hoping to learn a thing or two. Well maybe I learned one thing. How to make a teacup out of chocolate. But the rest is: look what I made! now you how to add the finishing touches of the thing you will never learn how to make! Maybe it's because they tried to add so much to one short episode (three "tutorials" and 10+ minutes of puppet banter) and maybe a lot got edited out. But either way, it fell flat for me, aside from the beautiful imagery. Maybe she should just stick to her instagram?