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Thanksgiving (I) (2023)
10/10
Beautiful
14 April 2024
Well that was far and away more than I expected!!!!!

What a roller coaster!!!

Think scream, I know what you did, saw ans hostel .

Starts off with a black Friday riot then skips a year to the masked man popping em off in relentless fashion using many methods. All fun and blood thirsty .

A hint of mystery runs through the whole entire movie with a lovely twist at the end.

Great sound and camera work. Lovely old fashioned special effects. Great casting and characters are fun and well played.

Don't miss this one scream fans!!!

A good knock about blood n guts fun horror. Ten out of ten for sure!!!
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Bad Things (2023)
1/10
Diabolical
14 April 2024
Wow. Where do you start with such dribbly doodoo ?

This was beyond awful, way past boring , and most of all it was not worth watching.

Cheaply made, rank rotten acting , no storyline whatsoever, annoying characters and to put it bluntly it's badly made.

I read reviews saying it had potential, I strongly disagree, this was doomed before the casting was set , oh the casting........each and everyone in this pantomime is skin crawlingly annoying, obnoxious whiny woke self righteous demons.

The character "cal" had a voice like he should've blown his nose or at least waited till the flu had left his system before filming.

There is no story, no scares, its boring , it's meh, seriously do not bother with this utter guff.
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1/10
Just awful
14 April 2024
David duchovny must be desperate to get cast in anything , this was boring and pointless.

The script was just dull and bland and was delivered with the gusto and passion of deputy dawg.

There was a handful of jump scares.

The plot was a mish mash of badly executed parts of the original.

The characters were monotonous and painfully one dimensional.

This was so bad that I really struggled getting to the end.

Instead of this total and utter garbage you'd be better watching "DOGMAN" for an animal vibe thriller with a bit of a story.

The guy from x files......I feel for him as he's a really good actor usually and shouldn't have to accept roles in such films as this.
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DogMan (2023)
10/10
Amazing!
12 April 2024
Truly amazing! This will go down as a cult smash hit in years to come!!!

From the trailer and review and synopsis I was unsure about this film. And after the first ten minutes I nearly switched it off.

Oh wow I am double glad I didn't!!!!

OK, firstly the acting and casting and direction are all spot on. Sound and music and lighting are flawless. The idea is fresh and unique.

I read on here that its a mash up of lassie come home and silence of the lambs. Hahah possibly.

But it's brilliant, I didn't want it to end.

The story is amazing and the lay out is just beautiful.

We see a trans guy in a truck getting arrested with a menagerie of hounds in the back, we then skip to the guy getting interviewed by a shrink at the police station, then the story begins. From his childhood and being caged with his beloved dogs , to playing Shakespeare in a children's home to being Edith piaf.

It's a roller coaster movie with laughs and action and a wonderous storyline. 10 out of 10 for sure.
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Road House (2024)
5/10
Unsure.....
24 March 2024
Just watched this, and it is nowhere near as good as the original, it didn't have depth or a great storyline like it's predecessor.

Jake gyllenhaal was amazing as he is most films , conor mcgregor tried so hard and was really close to pulling off a great role, I'm not sure if his acting was good or awful as it was kinda his real life character.

However , the cheesy cliche one-liners and repetitive funnies were boring , the diversity we are punished with by casting was Impossible to believe.

It was worth a watch there's no doubt about that , but I don't think it will be remembered like patrick swayzes version was.
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The Seeding (2023)
10/10
Great film
24 March 2024
Eden Lake meets Lord of the flies.

I can not for the life in me understand the poor ratings, Really creepy and yet brutal and beautiful piece of cinema.

Guy goes to get some photos of the eclipse in the way out of town area, kinda miles from nowhere. He sees a child that claimed he was lost, then finds his way onto a ladder going into a huge hollow in the landscape. He comes across a woman in a cabin then he's basically trapped in the big hole. Then it starts to get a tad freaky!! Deliverance type of anarchy with a nice twist and some very stomach churning scenes.

Definitely worth a watch if you enjoyed deliverance and the hills have eyes genre.
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Walden (2023)
10/10
Hidden gem
16 March 2024
This will go down in years to come as a cult classic.

Characters in this film are nothing short of wonderful.

The acting is spot on, a lovely storyline of revenge and honesty.

A soft hearted Court reporter gets fed up with seeing bad guys go free and takes it upon himself to deal out a bit of self justice, then his friend gets wrongly accused of an evil crime so he goes after the real perpetrator.....

At first I thought it was a comedic affair, but it turns out to be a unique quirky thriller with a twist or two.

Well worth a watch , I cannot understand the poor reviews. I loved it from start to end.
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1/10
Just boring, plain n simply boring
15 March 2024
What a mundane film.

Can't argue with acting to be fair, but it was monotonous from start to end, like a bad game of cluedo.

So three people go to a house and video everything. Yes, everything... at one point they get scared because a red tennis ball is on the floor.

They added mannequins with 1930s clown suits on, crow noises, a broken down car when attempting to leave. A woodland scene where they find a broken car.

There is two people narrating and telling you about how scary the ordeal was for our three main characters, as if they are needed.

The plot is thin, the scares are weak. It's just boring.

There is not many so called horrors as bad or boring as this tripe. Give it a swerve.
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1/10
Woefully bad
10 March 2024
I watched this so you don't have to.

Please do not believe the fake reviews, the 10/10 reviews MUST be from producers and writers of this total guff.

It really is the equivalent of a school drama production, and probably wouldn't gain a gcse from the finished article.

So a bloke is down on his luck so goes to a strip bar come peep show place, then we start the 4 short stories.

It's kind of on the same lines as the V/H/S movies, but not in the same league. One wants to be a saw movie.

I usually use the concept on movies this bad to look upon them as a comedy instead of a horror, but I couldn't with this.

The acting and script is abysmal, its attempt at shock is way off.

If not for the soundtrack I would've switched it off after act 1.
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1/10
Rip off of Rip offs
7 March 2024
Wicker man, the ritual, kill list, men, wake wood etc etc .

This was so poor it was barely believable.

I was looking forward to this for months, great cast , smashing trailer and I was so disappointed. It was a badly made mish mash of every movie that features any village folklore, but instead of creating something new- this just stole snipets from so many good films.

It dragged out and was slow and boring. There is a twist however , and anyone could guess it after first seeing finchy.

The movie could've been squashed into 30 minutes, in fact, reece and Steve at number 9 have done so a few years ago in series 7 of inside no9 , the episode 'mr king'

Just don't bother with this. It's awful.
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The Nightingale (I) (2018)
7/10
Lovely
17 January 2024
Django meets papillon, an amazing piece of historically incorrect cinema.

Young Irish convict housed as a house girl in van diemans land under the watchful eye of the dregs of the British empires worst employees. She has served her sentence and begs for justice from a serial narcissist. Then her troubles begin.

It's a survival and revenge mission for our heroine , along with Billy the aboriginal.

The acting and directing is amazing. Smashing plot line and easy to follow to boot. However the realism has a lot to answer for.

It's worth a watch for sure, but no way as good as some reviews would you to believe.
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Barbarians (2021)
1/10
Guff
14 January 2024
This movie could've been easily put into a 20 minute feature. 80 minutes of waffle and nonsensical trash followed by twenty minutes of kidnap and violence.

So disappointed to be fair , as I really like the actors in this b-movie. It's attempting to be arty and film noir, but it's like a bad episode of inside number nine. A wannabe instagrammer visits a rock, then with his wife visit his brother, then have a meal and an argument and a wrestle, then three men with skeleton hats land up to destroy a few paintings and chuck some books on the floor. Oh it was woeful. Do not waste an hour and a half of your life on this.
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The Mill (2023)
1/10
Hogwash
14 January 2024
Typical lock down movie. Utterly boring from the start to finish. Plot was obvious after 5 minutes. Acting is below average. There is no atmosphere whatsoever. This movie must've been thought up, written, filmed, edited and put out during one weekend at most.

So, a married guy with a pregnant wife works too much , housewife gets sick of it. Man wakes up next to a milling device. Talks to a bloke through a ventilation shaft, has to male so many rotations a day...... and that is basically it. The movie attempts to make you believe that years have passed yet the main characters hair hasn't grown half an inch. It's uninteresting and my only joy was the short running time.
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Evie (2023)
9/10
Creepy British horror
12 January 2024
Lovely little film. Very tense from the outset, young girl finds an antique piece of jewellery on the beach then things start to go a tad unpleasant for her and everyone around her. It's poltergeistesque with a tad of Rosemary's baby .

The movie jumps forward about 15 years in the first twenty minutes or so, but doesn't tell the viewer then back again and so on.

A quirky and easy to follow little horror, well worth a watch.

Wonderful casting . Clear and clean scriptwriting. Direction is on point and the camerawork. Acting is faultless and some beautiful scenery from start to finish.

I would've given 10 from 10 but for the jumping back and forth.
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Bull (2021)
10/10
Just brilliant
22 August 2023
Brilliant violent revenge movie with a strong story and an amazing twist.

Acting was spot on and extremely impressive from start to finish by the entire cast.

Direction was on point as was sound and music score, casting was perfect, camera work top notch.

Gang member marries gang leaders daughter, she cheats on him and then gets the gang to take her son from husband , cowardly moves from the gang see the attempted murder of the distraught father. Then the revenge starts as he mysteriously reappeared.

If you like dead man's shoes and films of that ilk , then this british masterpiece is for you.
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1/10
School play
1 June 2023
Shane meadows does it again. He writes and directs amazing stuff , dead man's shoes, this is england and the series, summers town and the like. Then he employs literally the worst actors available. I was looking forward to this like many others, and I'm so disappointed with the atrocious actors like many others. I managed to get through the episodes with a constant cringe at the cardboard acting, at times it was so bad I actually felt like I was watching a school play. The make up and scenery and props were fantastic , was a great idea and could've been amazing, but it was far from. Such a waste ...
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2/10
Garbage
10 May 2023
Don't waste your time with this if you're a true crime documentary fan. This is 100% staged nonsense, it's attempting to be true like making a murdered / staircase etc etc. But it's so obvious it is all staged for dramatic effect. No one in law enforcement works like these people, reading important documents in the street, going inside a home then to stumble on a door closed with a lump of wood then declaring a search warrant is required. The interview scenes show "real" police doing interrogation and the actresses nowhere to be seen. I watched the first episode and if so false and fake , I had to Google the facts and not one of these actresses/police women were mentioned. Give this a swerve.
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Men (2022)
1/10
Absolutely nonsense
5 October 2022
Finally, it's been written and made and now it is here!!! Karl pilkingtons movie!!!

A girl loses her husband and moves away to live with posh people in a posh village , and then people are being born as adults and one has a tree as his head.

But Karl who shall we cast as the actors? "Well one fella can play everyone"

Don't believe these self proclaimed artistic experts, this is total hogwash. It's a pathetic attempt at a horror version of 80s children's tv show 'Mr Benn' , I'm sure the people who think a stack of housebricks is art will love this. To the sane, it's a stack of rubble. We'll this was a stack of nonsense. Avoid at all costs.
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Elvis (2022)
1/10
Fairy story
19 August 2022
Total hogwash, the acting is atrocious, the storyline is total fiction. What a wasted chance to make a factual amazing movie. Elvis presley had enough drama and excitement in his life and career to create a brilliant film, instead we get this fictitious piffle.
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In the Earth (2021)
10/10
Refreshingly beautiful
17 February 2022
Smashing movie.

Novel idea, great camera work, wonderful casting, cracking storyline.

Reece shearsmith totally stole the show in this psychological woodland thriller, creepy, eerie, edgy and just fresh!

Had me hooked from the outset.
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The Feast (2021)
1/10
Garbage
17 February 2022
Couldn't make head nor tale of what they were saying. A family all with severe speech impediments, with what sounded like dialog whilst suckling on a werthers original. Gobblydeegook nonsense. Give this one a wide berth, you'll not understand a word they babble no matter how drunk you are.
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10/10
Quirky funny horror
17 February 2022
One of the best comedy horrors I've seen in many a year.

Cracking cast of characters, punchy storyline, easy to watch, hilarious dialog, good effects.

All round fun little horror.

"If ye don't let me alone , I'm gonna plant drugs on ye an throw to the mercy of the courts'
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1/10
Cringe cringe cringe
28 October 2021
Total and utter trash.

Camera work was hilarious, I'm not sure if there was a scriptwriter, acting was not acting.

Best way to have fun watching this is by playing idiot bingo, write down 40 words - phrases or slang terms that you've heard from the great uneducated, and Mark them off during this dross film. I won after 5 minutes with "bruv fam yegetme innit blud brapbrap yafeelme Mandem feds trippin pussyole feel-ya"

Seriously do not bother.
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The Beast Must Die (2021– )
1/10
Dross
17 June 2021
Unbelievable? The only thing Unbelievable is the acting. Watch it though, as a comedy. Garbage.
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The Dry (2020)
10/10
Top notch
10 May 2021
Great crime drama, Eric Bana at his best.

Slow but gritty and honest drama , superb acting and a wonderful story.
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