Reviews

Remember the days when the words "movie spoof" would conjure up memories of laugh out load comedies such as "The Naked Gun", "Airplane", "Jane Austen's Mafia" and "Hot Shot"? These were the movies that not only made us laugh but made us want to watch the films they lampooned over again. But these types of film can't always guarantee to entertain us. Put in the hands of the wrong people you end up with forgettable disasters like "Silence of the Hams" and "Chicken Park" but in recent years Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have completely destroyed the genre for everyone with their tired, overused jokes, immature gross out "humour", homophobic/racist/sexist stereotypes and their obsession with belittling celebrities and capitalizing on every major film of the year.

But Disater Movie is Friedburg's and Seltzer's worst film yet (I say "yet" because, sadly they have more "ideas" for future parody films). Now, I confess, I have only seen the first half hour of this film, which I consider an achievement because even the opening scene caused me to be severe pain. I had low hopes for this film in the first place so I waited for it to air on TV to avoid paying to see this garbage. However, as low as my expectations were I found that they were still too far high.

The opening scene in a pathetic 10,000 BC parody that targets Amy Winehouse. Now, I'm no fan of Winehouse but even I get angry when I see stuff like this making light of her drug and alcohol problem. Yes it easier to laugh at someone like this than it is to actually help them but this whole "joke" goes too far. But then Friedburg and Seltzer take a break from insulting Winehouse to insulting the viewer but having Winehouse letting out a long 30 second or so burp followed by a series of shorter burps which is supposed to make us say "Oh that is so clever. Every time I thought she was finished burping she let out another one. Oh Friedburg and Seltzer, you are truly comic geniuses" but instead we end up screaming out "OK, she burps. We get it already! ENOUGH!!!"

Next we are treated to a party scene that lampoons "No Country for Old Men", "Wanted" "High School Musical" "Juno" and "Superbad" (How these films could be considered disaster movies is beyond me), during which we see Carmen Electra playing the same character she has played in every other "Movie" film, a random wrestling scene that was supposed to be "sexy", a few more attacks on celebrities, seemingly endless homophobic/racist/sexist jokes, gross out "humour" a musical number that makes the songs from "Grease 2" worthy of a Grammy in comparison and then, after a half hour of pointless, mindless drivel do we start to see the parodies of disaster films, which includes bikini-clad women for some reason, Hancock hitting his head on a lamppost, a cow landing on Ironman (characters hitting their head on or being crushed by something is used in every other Friedburg and Seltzer movie, and it wasn't funny the first time either) and then Hannah Montana being crushed by a meteorite, in which we see a repeat on the Amy Winehouse burp scene only this time Hannah Montana dies, comes back to life to say something, dies, comes back to life to say something else, dies again and it just goes on like that...and that is when I stopped watching.

After sitting through just half an hour of this rubbish I was left asking once more how Friedburg and Seltzer are able to continue making more of these films? Yes, they maybe wildly popular with immature teenagers but surely they must be losing the studio money? These movies offer nothing new, there is no real story structure, no character development, awful acting, jokes you can see coming a mile off which are dragged out and outstay their welcome (if they were welcomed in the first place) and 6 months down the track you can expect to see the DVD copy for 50 cents in a cheap shop or sold along with a more popular movie. Hell, if I was even offered this movie for free I'd consider that offer a rip off.

So in closing the only thing I can say to Friedburg and Seltzer is "OK, WE GET IT!!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!

Why is it not many people have seen this film, or even heard of it? Why is it so under-rated? Why has it only recently been released on DVD? They are a few questions about this film I'd like know, because this is the best non-LotR/King Kong Peter Jackson film I've seen (I've yet to see Bad Taste and Brain Dead).

The movie centers around small town psychic con-artist, Frank Bannister (Michael J. Fox), who can really see ghosts, but uses his "gift" to his own advantage. You see, he sends his ghost buddies around to people's houses to "haunt" the place. The residents call Bannister, who comes over to do a bit of "ghost-busting" and collects the cash. Anyway, he starts to notice numbers on the fore-heads of the people around town, which only he can see. Strangely, these people wind up dead, and according to police reports, it seems someone or something had (literally) crushed the victims heart. After a while, Frank sees the killer: a large Grim Reaper like specter, who maybe linked to a mass murder committed by serial killer Johnny Charles Bartlett (Jake Busey) that happened in a local hospital years before hand.

And if trying to warn the towns people of this ghostly killer isn't hard enough (of coarse, being a movie, no one believes him), he has to deal with a "psychic detective" who thinks Bannister is the killer. Perhaps Bartletts girlfriend, Patricia Ann Bradley (Dee Wallace-Stone), knows the truth, but why does her mother forbid her to make contact with the outside world?

So, why is the film so underrated? One answer may be because of it's box office failure. Critics were confused over the film when it was released. They didn't know whether the film was a comedy, a horror, a thriller, a drama or a family film. You see, it starts off with a scary scene, goes on to something more dramatic, then some light hearted, family friendly comedy, then some crude humor (the Judge, a ghost played by John Astin, having his way with an Egyptian mummy) and then back to being a horror movie. Because of their confusion, the critics reviewed the film poorly, so not many people went to see it.

So, is the film worth seeing? Of coarse. Sure, it's not Gone with the Wind, but it's fun. The characters are enjoyable, the story is fun, the acting is great and the SFX are awesome for it's time (1996). So check it out one day. It'll be hard to find a film like it and it was the last PJ film that was his original idea, before going onto his Oscar winning Lord of the Ring trilogy.

Now for some trivia:

Peter Jackson wanted the film to be given a PG-13 rating, but it was given an R rating instead (although in Australia it was given a simple M15+ rating).

PJ realized it was now possible to put the LotR on big screen after seeing how well the ghost effects came out in this film.

Sean Astin was inspired to audition for the LotR after his father, John Astin, enjoyed himself during the making of this film. John Astin also auditioned for the role Gandalf the Grey.

R. Lee Ermey makes a cameo as a ghostly Sergent, which is a send up of his famous role in Full Metal Jacket.

The film was inspired by a supposed real life ghost encounter PJ and his wife had.

PJ makes a cameo appearance (as he does in all his films). He is the scary looking biker dude with piercings Fox bumps into near the beginning of the film.

After keeping us waiting 3 more years Lucas pops out the next installment of his acclaimed saga, while fans were wondering "Will this be better than The Phantom Menace?". Well, the answer is yes and no. Unlike Menace, Attack of the Clones has more action than endless dialog, but as a result it fails to provide a decent plot.

Anyway here are the Pros and Cons:

The Cons

The story is sometimes confusing, the romantic scenes would make any chick-flick fan yawn, the death of Shmi Skywalker is hardly a tear jerker, the title is misleading (the clones aren't evil...yet) and pathetic (come on Mr Lucas, you can do better than Attack of the Clones), Hayden Christensen's portrayal of Anakin is awful, and Jar Jar returns.

The Pros

The film shows the origins of Boba Fett, how Anakin begins his descent to the Dark Side, Yoda is no longer a puppet, Jar Jar is now a background character, Jango Fett, Christopher Lee joins the cast, Mace Windo and Yoda finally use their Lightsabres, the Jedi go all out, and the last 45 minutes make up for the rest of the film.

So, all-in-all, Attack of the Clones is a fun addition to the Saga, but could well be the worst in the series.

After 16 years of waiting, George Lucas finally began answering the one question us geeks have been asking: How did Anakin become Darth Vader?

The Phantom Menace goes back to where the Star Wars saga truly begin: With the invasion of the planet Naboo. The galaxy is a bit different then what we saw with the originals. The Republic is still in control, the Jedi still exist and Darth Vader was snot-nosed little kid. Anyway back to the invasion. Jedi knights Qui Gon Jinn and Obi Wan Kenobi (Liam Neeson and Ewan McGreggor) go to Naboo, save the Queen (Natalie Portman), wind up on that desert planet (I forgot how to spell it) after their ship is damaged and meet 9 year old Anakin Skywakler (Jake Lloyd), who offers to help find a way to fix the ship, while Qui Gon suspects there is more to this boy than meets the eye. Oh, and a Sith Lord is after them.

The film features some characters from the originals, such as Obi Wan, Yoda, R2-D2, C-3PO, Palpatine and Anakin, as well as some new ones. Some are good (Qui Gon, Mace Windo, Darth Maul), some are OK (Watto, Nute and Rune) while others are just annoying (Jar Jar Binks, of coarse).

The action is OK, and there are some fun scenes, like the Pod Race and the Lightsabre battle at the end, but other than that, it's a pretty slack film, is boring in some parts and some times ridicules (Anakin accidentally flies off, blows up a ship and saves Naboo) but if you are a fan or you like this type of thing, check it out some time.

Out of all the Sci-Fi's of the 90's, this one would have to be the boldest. While there were many films at the time like this one, Starship Troopers took a different direction. While many films (including the pathetic Starship Troopers 2) jump straight into the story so we have to learn about the characters as the story goes along, this one takes about 45 minutes to an hour to get into the action, allowing us to learn about each character.

The film is set in the future and follows a group of friends who join the army, which is pretty simple. One of the friends, Rico (Casper Van Dien) has a lot of potential, but during a live fire exercise, one of his team-mates is killed after Rico orders him to remove his helmet. Since it was his fault, Rico is punished and decides to come back home. Unfortunately, his home town (and family) are destroyed by an asteroid, which was "sent" by a race of giant alien bugs. Rico, with nowhere else to go, reenlists and , with his buddies, is sent off to war against the bugs on their home world.

The film is fun, gory and very entertaining, with OK acting and great SFX. One interesting thing about the film are the advertisements and spots that pop up every so often such as asking people to "Join the fight against the bug!" and to "Learn your Foe!", each one ending with the phrase "Would you like to know more?".

Starship Troopers is a great film to watch on one of those lazy Saturdays, or if you have your geeky friends over.

I saw Starship Troopers again yesterday, and quickly remembered why I loved it in the first place. It was bold, gory, fun and original. The special effects were great for it's time (1997), and while the acting was a bit dry, the characters were likable.

Then someone thought it would be funny to ruin it with a pathetic sequel. When I sat down to watch this film, I had high hopes. I knew that it wouldn't compare to the original, but I expected to see another story about humans battling giant bugs on some desert planet. What we got was a stupid rip-off of Alien/s.

The film started promising, once more with an advertisement to join the Federation in it's war against the bug and the glory of war, and then quickly change to soldiers being ripped apart by giant alien insects, but then went straight into a story about a bunch of people trapped in a building of some sort with bugs that eat peoples brains and take over their bodies and pick the characters off one by one. Not surprisingly, the hero is a woman (like Riply in Alien) whose lover becomes the victim of the bugs and has to fight him, which she finds hard with his predictable "Join us" and "There's no escape" dialog.

The characters are 2-D, the actors are wooden, the SFX are awful and the story is a huge let down (compared to the original).

All director listen up: If you want to make a sequel to film that didn't need one, at least do something that hasn't been done 400 million times before. Keep it fresh and original or, failing that, don't make the film at all.

When making a story, the only thing more difficult than the beginning, is the ending. Return of the Jedi is a good example of this. While the film was great, it was kind of disappointing.

It started great with the Jabba the Hutt sequence (which felt like an old pirate movie) and ended with a brilliant climax (some may disagree but the ending of the 1997 Special Edition was a lot better than the original ending, what with showing all the planets celebrating), but the middle of the film is slack. The whole Ewok tribe scenes are boring, and the whole "Leia is your sister" is predictable and is far from as shocking as the famous "I am your father" scene.

But once the Battle of Endor begins, it feels just like another Star Wars movie again. The whole scene is fun, with Han and Co. leading an attack on the Impirial bunker, while Lando and Wedge lead the attack against the second Death Star.

But the highlight of the film is the final battle between Luke and Vader. This battle was different from previous fights, maybe because it seemed like neither wanted to kill each other, and appeared to be an analogy of the conflict between father and son.

Also, another highlight was the (true) introduction of Emporer Palpatin, the real bad guy.

Plus the Max Rebo Band was funny.

Jedi was a fun addition to the Star Wars saga, and is well worth a look.