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USS Seaviper (2012)
1/10
Seeing Is Believing
12 June 2012
This is what a movie would look like if it was done by a group of small children on a budget of say $24.99. The script is ridiculous, acting horrible, direction obviously got lost somewhere along the line and failed to show up at the shoot.

This is supposed to be an important story of WW2, but even after forcing myself to reach the end of this disgrace, I still have no idea what the big story is about. The only thing I found amusing is the (supposedly) British officer. He keeps breathing heavily (maybe a relative of the heavy breather in Student Bodies?), showing his pearly whites and nose hair, while his British accent is something he could've picked up in a cheap novelty shop.

Stay away from this one. Or better yet, check it out and see for yourselves. Watching such trollop makes you appreciate quality cinema more. And that has to count for something, right?
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2/10
My Fault Entirely
9 September 2011
Being a WW2 movie buff (totally bonkers, actually) I simply had to buy this flick without knowing much about it. Honestly, I'm very sorry I ever wasted my money on this. I had to check the credits to make sure it wasn't directed by Uwe Boll.

The story's supposedly a true one. In a script it probably looked much better than on film. Well, it couldn't have looked any worse, really. The acting is non-existent, scenography not there at all, characters are ridiculous. For example, one of the main characters insists on shouting practically all the time - even in most secret of scenes where being unnoticed is vital. There's even a scene of 4 hostages being shot by a firing squad of 3!!! Casting is dreadful, direction... Well, enough about that, I'm sure you get the picture.

In short: my fault entirely. On two accounts: for buying this movie in the first place and for insisting on watching it through (as I always do, sadly enough). Stay away from this one, you mark my words. A true story could have - and should have - been told in at least a semi-professional manner as anything less is a disgrace to the memory of true heroes it depicts. I'm sure they were great men and they deserve a lot more than this rubbish.
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Auschwitz (2011)
2/10
Stay away from this one. Far away. Seriously!
15 July 2011
This is the worst film ever made about WW2 and the Holocaust. It's probably been shot at a farmhouse somewhere, no resemblance to Auschwitz whatsoever. The scenes are ridiculous, acting is dreadful. They didn't even bother with hiring enough extras to fill up a train cart and the gas chamber. It all looks like a field trip that ended up a bit badly.

Uwe Boll apparently wanted to raise awareness about the Holocaust with the younger generations in Germany, but has blundered monstrously. This is a joke, and instead of raising awareness it raises your lunch. In my case, it was just some yogurt, but bad enough nevertheless.

As noble as Uwe Boll's intentions might be, please use some quality cinema on the topic and numerous "genuine" documentaries. There's a lot of those about, high-quality and accurate ones, so just chuck this one out immediately. In case you were stupid enough to cough up some cash for this joke. I was, for one.
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