Reviews

Asia has quickly taken over the top spot in the horror genre. I have seen many great works from Japan and South Korea and eager to expand my horizons, I set my sights on a Chinese film with the enticing title, "Hospital". So many possibilities came to mind of what could be in store, and while many of my hopes did come to pass on screen, what the final product ended up being was far less in substance.

We are introduced to the star of the film- the hospital itself- via press clippings from its infamous history. A creepy montage of red ink and some spooky atmosphere before a crew of ghost hunters shows up to give a more formal introduction to the now disused building before being scared off after spending 30 seconds inside. We are then shown the human leads, a Taoist priest and his son who offer ghost tours to paying customers who want to see their deceased loved ones. They are taken up on this offer by two women, a widower wanting to see her husband, and the sister of a dead nurse who used to work in the hospital before leaping out of a window.

The building, I can almost guarantee, is the genuine article. A magnificently creepy, rotting, abandoned medical facility complete with all the dressings of old wheelchairs, signage, and beds that one would associate with the setting. I was getting "Session 9" vibes to a point, but sadly it never progressed beyond that. Reason being the story is a little fuzzy. The Taoist father-son duo have conflict, Dad is dying of cancer and the son has never wanted to be in his line of work, and the customers don't like each other due to assigning blame to each other's camp of mourning. The widower blames the staff for her husband's death and the sister blames the patients for her sibling's suicide. I wish this had been played up more, but we're eventually introduced to the big baddy, a demon queen.

The demon queen is a malevolent spirit of a mother who lost her young son in the hospital and then in the midst of grief set herself ablaze in the morgue with her son's body. She now appears as an almost seven foot tall apparition of the girl from "The Ring" pushing a doll that resembles her son in a wheelchair. The visuals of this are unsettling, but hardly novel. I've seen so many like this demon queen, creeping about in black smoke, and a creepy child-like doll straight out of "The Boy".

A game of survival begins to play out as the 4 try to survive, the women refusing to leave because they are so insistent on seeing the spirits of their loved ones, and the father and son having to work to clean up the spiritual mess they've made all by spilling a vial of negative energy water. Thin premise, but I've seen worse. The movie flashes back to the events referenced, which seemed like a much better film premise, and then back again to treat us to some poor-CGI effects inserting in the very real hospital. The uncanny valley was bigger than all of China.

Still, the acting was decent by the whole cast. The grieving mother was quite believable in her human state, I wish she'd not been switched out for a "Fatal Frame" boss. And the husband of widow struck me as a great guy without much screen time, something not easy to pull off. By the end we've seen plenty of gruesome sights and had some jump scares, but never feel emotionally invested. It's all capped off by the stock twist ending that made little sense. And failure to build up to it may have added its unexpectedness, but only made it more of a failure.

This could've been a really good film, as all the ingredients are there, but we're left with something like the hospital itself. A building meant to do good but instead stands empty, suitable only for giving you a little bit of the willies. Exactly like this film. 4/10.

The idea of a supernatural element being introduced into a World War II European setting has almost endless possibilities. "Ghosts of War" which on the surface has a squad of WW2 paratroopers being ordered to hold an important position- a big old creepy house- puts this concept into practice.

Introduced to these men with some Nazi killing along the lines of "Inglourious Basterds", we quickly find them taking over said house from a group of clearly shaken GIs. Later learning the Germans did some bad things to the homeowners when it was discovered they were hiding Jews. Now, their angry spirits haunt the place. The atmosphere is good, the jump scare attempts plenty, and the actors are all decent in their portrayals. It's a bit of a shame that this was mostly by the numbers haunted house stuff, with a few new things plugged in. Seeing an unlucky SS unit try to retake the house results in some mildly entertaining kills. But, alas, things go a bit awry when it comes home with the big twist at the end.

It's foreshadowed enough to not seem abrupt or nonsensical, but it proves rather weak, even if things are tied up at the end best as can be. It's just not a good enough ghost story to appreciate the horror aspect and the twist is too mediocre for any shock to redeem it from there. Maybe one day, this concept can be revisited. Until then, "Ghosts of War" can take it's place on a long list of underwhelming movies that make one wonder "Oh, what could have been?"

3/10. Skip it.

"Big Timber" is another tough job themed reality TV show about lumberjacks in Vancouver. The cast is unassuming, but uninteresting. A smaller, family owned mill that faces an uphill battle (literally) to maintain success. It's full of typical editing and hyped up scenarios designed to raise the tension, but it all seems rather forced and is blatantly superficial. From the clearly forced lines reacting to a 1 second from disaster moment to the narrator who's job it seems to set up every scene as having the potential to get someone killed, it quickly wears on you and once you've seen one batch of timber get hauled with some difficulty, you've seen 'em all.

Skip it.

You're not going to find "Centurions" on many "Great Cartoons of the 80s" lists. Or any lists, good or bad, for that matter. It is a repetitive toy commercial show, atypical for it's time. Despite being cancelled after 1 season, it still managed to go 65 episodes.

So, imagine if you will, three elite soldiers. Each specializing in land, sea, and air combat. Each with unique suits capable of being equipped with certain levels of weaponry, depending on the threat level. It gets beamed down from an orbiting space station where their support operator (and her pet chimpanzee) keeps an eye on the evil plots of one "Dr. Terror" and his sidekick "Hacker" who are more cyborg than men with evil doing gadgets.

Dr. Terror and Hacker try to do bad guy stuff for world domination or some such, or sometimes a one-off villain of the week, the good guys show up, struggle a bit, and win the day with firepower and one-liners (while never killing anybody) Makes for a great commercial. As a kid, I remember getting very thrilled when they'd break out their heavy stuff. Had their been action figures available to me, I'd have bought them.

The main characters share the spotlight rather well. Each get developed well enough. Later on, more Centurion members are added with their own specialties to go with newer bad guys. Meet the new plot, same as the old plot. I could see this show getting a reboot somewhere. Michael Bay would have fun with this, I think. It's by no means deep subject matter, but you can tell some genuine effort was put into it. Worth a look for some retro, cheesy fun.

Eddie Fleming (Hugo Weaving) is asleep in his chair. Suddenly the front door is busted open, and cops burst in, and begin rummaging around. Fleming is violently accused of some offence, to which he is ignorant, frightened, and incredulous. His is then "invited" down to the station by the detectives for questioning. But not before suffering the humiliation of changing his urine-soaked pants in front of everyone.

This is the opening scene for "The Interview", a wonderful suspense film directed by Craig Monahan. What follows is a wonderful match of wits between Weaving's Fleming and Det. Sgt. John Steele, played with equal skill by Tony Martin. We as the viewer are made to be as in the dark, initially, as Fleming. Walked into a police station that resembles a mausoleum and put into a room for questioning with all the care of a recently deceased corpse. The reason for Fleming's detainment is gradually revealed by Steele over time, with a feeling that Fleming is being set-up as a patsy. Steele has been brought in to "get results" but he's not as keen as his colleagues to charge Fleming straight away. He's a street smart veteran detective, compared to the young and hot-headed Det. Constable Prior played by Aaron Jeffery, who flanks Steele most of the questioning sessions. Prior is played with all the subtlety of a chainsaw, with his crew cut hair, and bully boy demeanor seems more intent on getting Fleming's lunch money than a confession.

But the magic here is Weaving's Fleming and Martin's Steele playing off each other. Both men believe they're more clever than the other and each have enough tricks up their sleeves to go move-for-move. Weaving plays the role with a shaky panic to start but a nonchalant confidence later on that makes us doubt his total innocence. Steele, like his name, is a tough detective but clearly a flawed man. He's not totally corrupt, but not a straight arrow either.

Craig Monahan directs this wonderfully. Innocence or guilt is never confirmed, only hinted at. Our sympathies shift rapidly. Monahan also includes an interesting indictment of the imperfections within the justice system. Showing how easily an innocent man can be charged but just as easily a guilty man can walk free. And it's that doubt and suspense that makes this movie so good. This film reminds me a lot of Hitchcock, who while often associated with horror, was at his best when putting people against each other and drawing out the suspense which is exactly what Monahan does here.

A sensation you're left with as the credits role. If this movie were made in the 2010s, there'd likely be some grand attempt at a supreme twist, but "The Interview" doesn't do that. It keeps you guessing and doesn't stop. Like life, not everyone is guilty- but no one is innocent. Give it a watch, enjoy.

"Pulp Fiction" has a couple plots, two hitmen collecting a suitcase, a boxer and his wife on the run, a couple who stick-up places, and a guy who takes his boss' wife out on a date. Various, interconnected, hijinks ensue. It's a fun ride. It's got action, suspense, comedy, drama, and excellent acting all-around.

The magic of this movie however, what will "make it or break it" for most viewers is the dialogue. It's now classic stuff, but in 1994 it was very real, for lack of a better word. People talking about interesting, amusing, and unusual people, stories, and subjects. Are these important to the plot? No. Are we gonna meet this people? Probably not. But it's the kind of thing where if you heard it in real life you'd find yourself listening with a mild interest. Rarely have films ever had such approachable dialogue. And many have tried- and failed- to replicate this level of normalcy in the way characters speak.

It's action scenes are exciting, yet believable, even the unbelievable is believable because they frame it in such a way that is not too far from reality. Even if it means questioning the whole thing. But it's this level of tame excitement that keeps the film from reaching new heights and being just short of greatness. This movie won't change your life, make your spirit soar, or stir your emotions to tears like a truly great movie does. But you won't soon forget it.

As if there weren't enough "Bad Guy of the Week" thriller crime dramas out there, here comes "The Blacklist". A mediocre program created by Jon Bokenkamp, writer of such mediocre thrillers such as "Taking Lives" and "Perfect Stranger".

The premise starts off well enough as Raymond "Red" Reddington, (James Spader) a top ten most wanted man and criminal mastermind, suddenly turns himself in, and offers up a rogues gallery of evildoers on the condition that he get immunity and work with recent FBI academy graduate and profiler Elizabeth "Lizzy" Keen (Megan Boone).

Spader plays the part of "Red", the ultimate "guy who knows a guy" well enough with equal parts charisma and enigma, while delivering uneven dialogue that goes from deep and insightful some times to heavy handed garbage the next. It's frustrating hearing the same lines designed to just kick the overarching plot of why he wants to work with Agent Keen so often, I just want him to say, "Wait til next episode."

Agent Keen herself is an unevenly written character, capable of brutal techniques of interrogation one minute and misty eyed emotional fatigue the next. Megan Boone makes her believable. Capable of so much more than the writing of this show allows, she's got that lady in charge power walk down thought- you know the one- fast walking with high heels thumping as she tells the computer guy to do stuff, and then rushes off to the next lead given to her by a couple keystrokes.

Along for the ride are Agent Ressler, the prototypical headstrong FBI guy who can't see beyond his own badge (but slowly learns to do so as his ice cube melts) played by Diego Klattenhoff, Lizzy's well-meaning but left in the dust hubby Tom Keen, who looks like every acoustic guitarist at a coffee house open mic night I've ever seen, but MAYBE isn't everything he appears... (wink-wink, nudge-nudge).

The performance I do enjoy most is Harry Lennix as Agent Keen's boss, Harold Cooper. Lennix plays the role with an authority, patience, and overall nuance that makes his part more than just an order barker. It is however, James Spader's show. He's the best thing about it. A sophisticated charlatan, likable but with a hard exterior capable of going up at the drop of one of his trademark hats. His interactions with "Lizzy" making for some of the high marks of the show.

The show gets some good talent coming through to play bad guys, but they're often not given enough time to do much with them. This show will appeal to fans of "Criminal Minds", "24", "Homeland", "Person of Interest", and is tries so hard to please everyone that it might not please anyone.

The formula of bad guy doing this shows up, "Red" knows who they are but maybe not their real name, Agent Keen & Co. stop them, some of the larger plot gets revealed, and then some bait is dropped to watch next week. Rinse repeat. It gets old fast, especially when the reveals aren't that hard to see coming. NBC should stand for "Not Bloody Clever".

6/10. Mostly for the acting.

The Moe genre is something that has really gotten about every treatment under the sun. It's not a genre I'm particularly fond of because it's just too cutesy, sickly sweet, and all rather pointless. However, I am a big Second World War buff. So, here I go with "Girls & Panzer". An adorable original production from Actas, who are best known for, well, "Girls & Panzer". I have to admit I was skeptical going into this series as it involves the usual bunch of high school girls who look like they're 8 years old forming up a band of misfits into a club where they compete with a rogue's gallery of opposing schools.

The bonus here is that their sport is "tankery". Think of it as a war game, but not war itself. Tanks fire live rounds that can take out other tanks and buildings, but never seem to harm actual people. Despite several big explosions and high impact collisions, there is nary a spot of blood shed by the cast- although they at times appear to suffer mild injuries, broken eye glasses, and a lot of soot covering fires. We must remember they *are* cartoons. And this is a game. Played with tanks. Real tanks.

When I say real tanks, I mean they really went out of their way to add as much realism as possible. The descriptions and designs of these vehicles are true to history. While most are CG produced, it fits fairly seamlessly with the hand drawn animation of the characters, producing some wonderful combat scenes with the most impressive sound effects I've heard in quite some time from an Anime. If you didn't know better, you'd think you were watching a WW2 film with all the quality sound editing and mixing going on. Masterful work! Added into this mix is a wonderful soundtrack that sounds like something Elmer Bernstein would have written along with ballads from other nations. I particularly enjoyed "Battle Hymn of the Republic" for the American tanks and "Panzerlied" for the German ones.

I guess in all this fuss over the accuracy of the tanks and songs I forgot about the plot. It's not a new one, a new student with a past must lead a band of oddballs and misfits to glory in a tankery tournament to save the school. Along the way they grow as a team, as people, and learn the value of friendship. I don't recall many of the characters names, despite decent attempts to give them depth. It's not really a big deal, because this was not going to be a character driven show. This is literally a TANK driven show. Neither the Japanese or English voice cast left much of an impression, as there isn't much dialogue to shine with, so you can go either way when it comes to Sub or Dub.

I want to mention this however- despite the Panzer being given top billing and center stage in this show, NO attempts are made to glorify Nazi Germany or war itself. Names of various legends of tank warfare- Rommel, Guderian, and Wittmann- are mentioned. They are recognized as pioneers and innovators in armored warfare. A status they hold to this day, despite wearing the uniform and serving under the flag of an army of darkness.

Attention to detail and production values save this from just being an adorable little show about cute girls in tanks. It's a good bit of fun. 7/10. Check it out. Cheers!

When you watch anime, there are some titles people just assume you have seen. "Hellsing" happens to be one of them. I had never seen it outside of some clips or the odd half episode here or there, but I always had it recommended to me with this added, "It's good, but 'Ultimate' is better." Maybe so. I haven't seen that one either, but I wanted to give the original "Hellsing" the unbiased, clean look with fresh eyes it deserved.

Thrown into a modern day setting where unholy creatures inhabit the world but are disposed of quietly and professionally (at least in the UK) by a secret organization called "Hellsing". Using a bunch of SWAT team like guys with an arsenal for fighting the undead, they also have the ancient vampire Alucard at their service. He dresses like Carmen Sandiego, carries a big freakin' gun, and has plenty of hocus pocus at his disposal making him the trump card for the Hellsing organization. This feels like "Hellboy" meets "Blade" to me. Needless to say, nothing stops Alucard except for his master, the leader of the Hellsing organization, Sir Integra Hellsing. She (don't let the royal title fool you) runs the whole thing with assistance from her manservant and bodyguard Walter with a calm sense of authority, showing flashes of frustration when things go awry, but always pressing on. I expected to see a "Keep Calm And Carry On Killing The Undead" poster in her office somewhere. We are given our entry into the story via a D11 law enforcement officer named Seras Victoria (aka "Police Girl"), who after a close encounter with the undead, has her life saved by being turned into a vampire by Alucard- with her consent of course. (I can hear Tom Cruise's Lestat going, "I'll give you the choice *I* never had") Then we are given some exposition into the workings of the organization and the typical things they deal with.

Things getting more difficult as a race of synthetic vampires seem to be cropping up more and more, these so-called "freaks" are created with an implanted chip being manufactured by... someone for... reasons. That information is never revealed (but if you look at the chip closely you can get a good idea who's handiwork it is) but as a viewer you probably don't care, it's the action we want! And there is plenty to be had, most of these 24 minute episodes are packed well with shooting, gore, and splendid sights of the wild and weird that go hand and hand with the undead and those who hunt them. In all of this however, it feels cheap. Studio Gonzo is known for their dubious record when it comes to special effects, but it holds up well enough (keep in mind this came out in 2001) and the art is fine with the exception that almost every character seems to have these wicked grins all the time in an expression I can only call " Face". It's supposed to look edgy and cool, but it just gets awkward after awhile.

The show itself is highly binge-worthy at 13 episodes, but it feels very flat with barely a pulse to get you by. There are some tense moments, but most of the characters on the show are so poorly developed it's hard to care if they live or die. Seras Victoria adapts pretty well to her new life with the typical tribulations over consuming blood to live. She sleeps in a coffin, but seems to walk in sunlight just fine. Her Dad was a cop, but seems to have passed away. She has no friends who miss her, or any life to regret having to leave. Most of her dialogue is just "Master!" when referring to Alucard or "Noooo!!!". It really makes her hard to get behind, but she has big breasts, so I guess that's enough for some. Outside of Alucard and Integra, very little character background is revealed. Even the bad guys aren't around long enough to give a crap about, here's this person. They're a vampire. They're evil. Their motivations are thin and their threat level is rarely enough to remember their names. The recurring antagonist (not a bad guy, per se) is Alexander Anderson, a knife throwing, super-human, priest from a secret chapter of The Vatican. He is Alucard's opposite number in many ways and a memorable foe for the few times we meet him.

This show has the feeling of what was to be the first of 2 or 3 seasons to follow. The big bad guy at the end of it isn't even that spectacular and we are given plenty of hints that someone bigger and badder is out there, hiding in the shadows, pulling the strings. Once again, look at the Freak Chip closely and you'll get a good idea. Perhaps I'll read the manga to find out more or maybe I'll find out more watching "Hellsing: Ultimate". This show did enough to keep my attention and rarely stuffed it's volumes with filler shows. But, when all is said and done it was remarkable for being totally unremarkable. I got a good amount of action and gore with some spooky aspects here and there, but nothing I will remember particularly. I think this would actually make a great Hollywood adaptation for a 2-part (or more) film franchise. You could at least get English people to play the English people there- which brings me to my Sub vs. Dub section, while the Japanese cast does fine, I'm sorry to say I want to watch something that takes place in England spoken in the King's English. 99% of the English accents on display by the English cast are CRINGE WORTHY. The only passable accent is done by the voice of Integra, Victoria Harwood. She bloody well should know how to do it- she studied in England. But the best performance has to go to Crispin Freeman's Alucard. Freeman is no stranger to great performances, and his deep, crisp, and low tones in bringing the ancient vampire to life is the stuff of legend and the stuff that makes girls swoon. The man could read stereo instructions in this voice and make it sound bad-ass which gives Dub the clear win.

For a product of 2001, this feels like something from 1991. Guns, blood, and monsters with solid Japanese animation that you won't mistake for Disney. It's junk food and not even good junk food at that. If you want to watch it to pay respect to the title and the reputation it has with the Anime community, it's worth your time. It would get you through a long road trip or being snowed in with nothing to do but wait (like me). Other than that, I'd pass. 5/10. Take it or leave it. Cheers!

I believe it is universally accepted that the key to great comedy is men in drag. "Tootsie", "Some Like It Hot", and many other examples have all proven (though not without exception) that putting a man in women's clothing is almost certain to obtain a ripping good laugh. But in the modern era, we can take things a bit further. What if we had men forced to become women and hide that fact while performing? Well, that's what we got in the definitely NSFW "Back Street Girls: Gokudolls" made by J.C. Staff and brought to you by the fine folks at Netflix.

The simple version of the plot is this: 3 Yakuza members mess up big time and are forced by their boss to get sexual reassignment surgery and train to become the perfect Japanese idol group and keep their origins a secret. Needless to say, comedy ensues. The adjustment period is more or less skipped over as their training is shown through flashbacks, but that's not to say they're completely comfortable in their new lives- who would be? But the best laughs are reserved for the most off-beat moments when the most bizarre little ironies occur. These moments are the definition of dark humor but you can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the scene. "Back Street Girls: Gokudolls" succeeds in avoiding the biggest pitfalls of this concept- doing something everyone's seen before. They achieve new heights with a somewhat hackneyed premise, so be ready for something different than "White Chicks" or "Big Momma's House".

The failure of this show is in it's main characters. You think of them as a unit, so it's hard to think of them separately. Each gets their own time in the spotlight, but without much time with them previously as men it's hard to identify them. Thankfully, the side characters come to the rescue big time. The Gokudolls manage to create their own little antagonist faction through their various misadventures, which leads to some fun. The little additions to their group- such as a clueless manager or a couple of trainees- really help bring the funny but the best part of the show is their boss- oh my Gawd, this guy is gold. Boss Inugane may be one of the most crazy characters in Anime history. And anytime he's on is must-see, which he's there plenty, but still not enough. I brave to say if it were not for him, the show would be a mediocre failure.

Because the show was not going to win on it's soundtrack. I think they were going for purposefully tacky, J-Pop crap with some funny lyrics added, but I reject the notion that to be bad on purpose is always the way to go. They missed an opportunity to make something there and although the opening and closing themes are semi-catchy, the musical numbers are more grating than entertaining. Not for the voice cast's lack of trying, though. This has some of the best voice editing I've heard. While the Gokudolls speak in their voices as women, their internal voices are still that of their true men selves, with some clever shots of them with their old faces on their new bodies added in for good timing. The show is very Japanese and should be watched in Japanese for best enjoyment, while the English cast does well enough to keep up. Massive shout out to the veteran Keiji Fujiwara as Boss Inugane, who's bellowing voice that inspires intimidation is used to immense comedic effect with some of the lines he's forced to bark out here.

If you're looking for something funny and new, but aren't too easily offended, definitely give this one a watch. A Netflix exclusive, yes, but I don't think anyone else could have made this in today's PC culture. An odd gem destined to become a cult classic. 8/10. Check it out. Cheers!

"Opposites attract". It is a cliche, a tired one at that, but nevertheless it works. The cliched premise of having a secret identity is also tried and true. Anime is not immune to this either, as it seems all plots must take place in a high school. Throw in the stereotypical "Tsundere" type leading lady and you have the basic elements of "Kaichou wa Maid-sama!" aka "Maid Sama!" a mediocre, predictable, but also enjoyable manga adapted into anime by the respected J.C. Staff studio.

Our plot centers around Misaki Ayuzawa, a strong willed young lady who has gotten herself elected the first female class president in her formerly boys only school. As the school still consists of 80% boys, she rules with an iron hand and a dragon lady persona. But after the final bell rings, she is simply "Misa". A popular server at the Maid Latte maid cafe. A fact she tries with all her power to hide. Until it is discovered by Takumi Usui, the idol of her school, and rather than reveal her secret he uses it to his advantage. Resulting in many a comedic moment.

A lovely group of side characters helps round out this show, each relatively distinct in their own way and capable of generating laughs, but the story is that of the expressive, loud, and fiery Misaki and her foil and comedic straight man Takumi. Her often explosive animation sequences are off-set by the too cool for school, bleach blonde fella who seems to never be fazed by her constant outbursts. Usui is not a creul kid, he is in fact a warm hearted, yet quietly mischievous kid who cares for Misaki as much as he enjoys tamely pushing her buttons. This is the essence of the show. The dynamic of the two. One practically is begging for them to kiss by the show's halfway point.

This was not a show I was glued to, there were episodes where I honestly spaced out and couldn't tell you what happened, and others I was genuinely engrossed in. It's a very uneven product and frustrating at times. Usui is tall with blonde, spiky, hair and brown eyes. But we are introduced to no-less than 3 other characters, thankfully not all that reoccurring, that look EXACTLY THE SAME. Are they related? No. Is this ever brought up? No. Is this the animators way of saying, "Handsome = This"? Perhaps. But it just feels lazy after the 3rd time. The music itself could have used some variance. The primary theme, with it's catchy beat and bells, is used more times than I can count and makes it feel like a Christmas celebration is about to break out.

A show that is cliched, stereotypical, and repetitive. How is it possibly any good? Well, it takes some effort for a storyteller to get you to keep paying attention to a story that we know the ending to. The formula stays roughly the same throughout the first 3/4 of the show, "Conflict at school or the cafe. How they gonna figure this one out? If Misaki's good natured, strong will can't fix it, Usui comes to the rescue as cool as a cucumber. Rinse. Repeat." The latter 1/4 of the series formula only changes when another boy enters the picture. It was a nice change. So, why did I finish this series? Because, honestly, the good moments are charming. There are some heart warming romantic moments. There is some fun to be had. Some suspense to be endured. And some moments that should be scary but are played off as funny. It's not a good thing when you're asking, "Should I be laughing at this?"

I certainly didn't stick around for the voice acting. But, you can certainly tell these actors are having fun in their roles. Be it either Ayumi Fujimura or Monica Rial's Misaki and her over the top screeching, or David Matranga/Nobuhiko Okamoto's Usui soft retorts, the cast does pretty well. But this is best enjoyed in Japanese for 2 reasons, first- it's in Japan and the Japanese just sounds crisper. Second, the pain of not hearing the terrible Santry Rush's Hinata Shintani. His Southern United States accent is meant to make the character sound like a hayseed to convey he's from the country. But it's bad. Mr. Rush is, from what I can tell, not a proper VA. He sounds like Forrest Gump doing a bad Mr. Rogers impression (So, Tom Hanks?). It's the worst thing about this series. And thankfully is in only a handful of episodes.

I sense that this show is meant to get people to read the manga which ran from 2005-13 and spanned 18 volumes. For what it is, it does fine. Worth checking out. 6/10. Cheers!

One of the most difficult things involving Anime is what to show someone who hasn't seen one before. Many suggestions come to mind, but most of those are probably dozens upon dozens of episodes long and most people don't have that kind of time and the shows themselves are usually genre specific. So, what can you show someone that more or less covers all the bases of Anime but is short enough to watch in one sitting? I submit "Fight!! Iczer-1"

Based off the manga "Golden Warrior Iczer-One" and brought to us by the studio AIC, known perhaps best for "Tenchi Muyou", this 3 act OVA has so many staples and tropes of Japanese Anime both of it's own 1980s origins and even the modern pieces of today, that it serves as a wonderful orientation for what to expect from the most popular animation in the world today. Even for those initiated already it's an enjoyable little title with some unique twists and turns and a retro charm.

The plot can be best boiled down to this: an alien being known as Iczer One has come to Earth and chosen a human girl named Nagisa to be her partner to fight an evil force known as Big Gold and the alien forces soon to arrive to take over the planet. It seems Nagisa is the key to powering Iczer One's counterpart Iczer Robo, a giant robot, with enough energy to successfully vanquish the foes they face. This leads to some wonderful action sequences involving mechs, monsters, hand-to-hand combat, laser sword combat, and some very unsuccessful assists from the Japanese military as they attempt to fight the invaders. If you've seen any Godzilla movie, you know how well that turns out.

The whole experience feels like a dozen episodes boiled down into 3. Meaning there is very little time for character development but it also doesn't dilly dally. Things move quickly and pretty well considering how many questions one probably has with so much going on. I'm not someone who needs to know why everything is happening and everyone's motivations, so I was more than keen to enjoy the show. Beyond featuring things similar to mechs, magical girls, and ecchi fan service, there are some genuinely creepy moments with monsters and lots of gore making it a mature experience and certainly not something for the kids and definitely NSFW.

Even though it's from the mid-1980s, the art itself isn't too bad. It's definitely got that VHS feel to it, but it holds up well and features a very brass-heavy soundtrack of uplifting heroic fight music that is indicative of the genre and the time. I was somewhat reminded of "Doctor Who" at times with the situation of an alien showing up to Earth and a poor innocent girl being snatched up into the chaos and adventure that is saving the world, but I think even The Doctor is more gentle than Iczer One in some cases. You definitely feel for Nagisa at times, though I can't help but think they did a better job giving depth to the bad guys than the heroes. The first two featured, Cobalt amd Sepia, are lovers and when the first one falls, the other is quite devastated and you feel sympathy for her. Something Anime is often good at, giving us villains with understandable motivations.

While "Fight!! Iczer-1" is a good bit of fun, it doesn't deliver anything ground breaking for the time or even since then. Having only seen the English dub, the voice acting leaves A LOT to be desired. Weak performances all around. Very Fox Kids quality. And just as your starting to enjoy yourself, the whole thing ends. Yet with an odd feeling of having had enough. That more would have been too much. I was happy that it ended sooner rather than later. This could have been a wonderful backdoor pilot for a longer series, but it works well as what it is. A modestly entertaining R-rated Anime. Quintessentially 80s with lots of gore, nudity, and mindless action but with enough care to the characters that it salvages itself from being mindless.

I recommend this to anyone interested in starting Japanese Anime but also for anyone just in the mood for an old-school bit of fun. A solid 6/10. Check it out. Cheers!

There was a time when virtually everything authored by Stephen King was adapted for the screen. "Graveyard Shift" was first published in 1970. Despite it's splendidly blood curdling premise of workers finding horrors in the basement of their mill, it took 20 years for it to be brought to life. Like it's source material, "Stephen King's Graveyard Shift" is better than some but worse than others.

The premise is splendid. An old, rat infested, textile mill in New England has it's overworked employees being picked off by a monster that lurks beneath. We're treated to this in a wonderful prologue where the guy working the basement machinery entertains himself with the rats, giving them names, and even going as far dropping them into the teeth of the works, suffers a gruesome death by the same machine and his remains are gobbled up by the hungry rats.

Such sensational gore is the attraction of such a film. The screenplay by John Esposito, who's gone onto similar success in horror, keeps things relatively simple. We're then introduced to our protagonist, John Hall (played with a quiet charisma by David Andrews), who takes the position vacated by the prologue victim after a short interview with the mill's foreman, Mr. Warwick played by Stephen Macht.

Macht gives the best performance of the film. He exerts a sadistic, hard boiled, menace to the character with just enough haminess and physicality that he reminds one of Vincent Price. There are many names in this one wouldn't recognize, but they all perform well. Kelly Wolf as Jane is a natural for the role. She looks the part of a hard working woman who's still good looking enough to get attention.

But the biggest name here is by far Brad Dourif as The Exterminator. Dourif is one of the great character actors and he's in his element here. Giving just enough to avoid being over the top, even as he delivers a terrifically chilling- and historically factual- monologue about his time in Vietnam and the rats there being used to torture Americans.

But the real stars of the show are the gore and creature effects. Rats, rats, and more rats. My mother still refers to this as "The Rat Movie". All these are used amidst a suitably creepy background, the old mill itself unsettling, the nearby river and cemetery with it's half submerged tombstones, set to an eerie soundtrack of low voices harmonizing with strings.

Ralph S. Singleton's direction here is quality. He let's the story take it's course as the talent does well and the wonderful effects crew provides many gnarly sounds and sites for horror fans to enjoy. It is a joy to behold practical effects these days and to look at monsters you can tangibly see are as real as the actors on the screen. These effects aren't winning any Oscars, but they work well just the same.

While it is a little by the book and even slasher movie levels of predictable at times, this is a genuinely decent adaptation of King's work and a fine creature feature gore show. Grab some snacks, turn off the lights, and enjoy sometime. And stick around during the end credits to jam out to a mashup of dialogue from the film set to music. It's a nice bit of fun.

The "Police Academy" franchise is considered perhaps the most dismal of any series of films with 3+ sequels. Upon viewing the original, which is considered the best, one need not wonder why.

This piece of mediocrity from 1984 tries and fails miserably to have something for everyone by cramming as many jokes and quirky characters into 1 hr and 40 mins as possible. At best they achieve a chuckle, at worst aggravating confusion.

The plot is a familiar one. Some good natured oddballs attempt to achieve a goal while fighting an antagonistic bunch of authoritarian squares. The goal here is to make it through police academy. And it's all one note characters and jokes the whole way. Steve Guttenberg tries to be too cool for school funny. Michael Winslow makes noises = funny (and actually is on occasion). Bubba Smith is tall, therefore funny. This one's fat, that one's clumsy, this one has large breasts. Hardy har har!

This is maybe one of the most mediocre comedies I've ever seen. And what makes it worse is that it has a decent premise. And is poorly executed. How this movie is so loved is beyond my understanding... I won't deny I laughed a few times, but once roughly every ten minutes isn't enough for something that's supposed to be a comedy.

Skip it. 4/10.

Ever wanted to see the TNG crew in a "Die Hard" scenario with Capt. Picard as John McClain? This is it. It's so unoriginal, but very fun. The kind of episode you can enjoy even if you're not a Trekkie. So, enjoy.

As a huge fan of "Bar Rescue", I was curious when I saw Jon Taffer would be getting a new show wherein he would try to save marriages, a frequent subplot of "Bar Rescue" episodes. And after watching the premiere of this new show, aptly titled, "Marriage Rescue", I am disappointed to say this should have never been green lit.

The show does a fair job of presenting the struggling couples evenly. Both are at fault for their marriage being in trouble. But, as a result, neither of these people seem remotely likable. How can I be interested in them if I find them repulsive? Jon Taffer is devoid of all the upfront fire and vigor that make up the magic of his other show. Nor does he have anything at stake when he's not fighting for a business with his name attached to it nor do I care whether or not he success is rescuing the marriage because- again- I don't like the couples.

The couples are forced to go through exercises in teamwork and trust that are as boring as the picturesque resorts they attend. Nothing shocking happens. There are no twists. Taffer seems more like a guest ref than a host. This is such a waste of time and useless venture by the Paramount Network. Skip it.

The incident that occurred at the Chernobyl nuclear power facility in 1986 has always interested me. After watching various documentaries, I could give you a simple version of what happened and why. The effects it had on the landscape and it's people. And perhaps offer a glimmer of the danger the world faced then. I was therefore eager to see HBO's miniseries, "Chernobyl", when I heard it was coming. Little did I know when I sat down for that first of five episodes, that I would experience the desperate atmosphere and sheer terror that was the situation as it happened.

Each episode drips with a tense, frightening air of doom. Almost like a post-apocalyptic series, but with the cold, sobering fact that this truly happened. From the reactor crew and management's initial handling of the scene after the explosion, to the first responders, to the smaller and eventually larger Soviet government response, and the massive clean-up and prevention efforts. It is a draining, grueling experience.

Odd coming from Craig Mazin, the guy who brought us such goofy titles as "The Hangover" films and "Identity Thief", who shows just how capable of serious writing he is here as few words are wasted and each exchange is of the utmost urgency. I was hanging on every word. It helps that it's delivered by some top notch talent like Jared Harris, Stellan Skarsgård, and Emily Watson who each turn in top notch performances. With wonderful supporting roles by Jessie Buckley, Paul Ritter, David Dencik, and Barry Keoghan. But what really sets this series apart has to be the direction of music video ace, Johan Renck, and the terrifying score by Hildur Guðnadóttir. Who combine to deliver a visual and audio experience that will stick with you long after you're finished watching.

This series is HBO's best miniseries since "Band of Brothers" and possibly, the best ever made. It is not for the faint of heart. Usually things are not when the focus is on the human element. That thing which caused the disaster and led to it's almost miraculous resolution. A piece like this comes once in a generation and I am so glad I made a point to watch it. As you should, too. And get an answer to the question, "What is the cost of lies?" Watch. Learn.

When "Backdraft" came out in 1991, massive success that it was, it wasn't particularly prime sequel material. And while it has stood up well over time, the demand has certainly not increased. Alas, here we are, 28 years later and we have been given a sequel, "Backdraft II".

This sequel was made with less money, less talent, less care, less quality, and as a result- the product is inferior in virtually every way. What else would one expect from a straight-to-DVD movie? But don't let the dismal shortcomings to the original turn you off completely. Take away the shadow of it's big brother and judge it by itself- we have a halfway decent film that is not without it's bright spots.

Taking place in the present day, we follow a now grownup Sean McCaffrey, (Kurt Russell's son from the original, played by future star Joe Anderson) who is now an arson investigator in the Chicago Fire Department (Canada subbing for Chi Town this time.) Anderson's performance is the highlight of the film, he plays Sean like a prototypical street detective. Massive chip on his shoulder, goes by his own rules, and is an ace sleuth. His character is given some subtlety and depth (mostly due to his interactions with a stray dog) but Anderson really gives it his best (dodgy accent aside) and it shows even with an uneven script- penned by Greg Widen, who also wrote the script for the original film.

The original is not an evenly written piece either, but this screenplay's weaknesses are more glaring. The plot revolves around the death of a group of kids, killed by a backdraft explosion while trick-or-treating. This shocking scene should make for a storyline that makes one eager to catch the culprit, but we're soon drawn into a somewhat complicated and rather pointless story involving defense contractors and espionage that feels out of place and more like an episode of "24".

Along the way we have a supporting cast consisting of an able partner (and underdeveloped character) Sean has forced upon him, played by Alisha Bailey, a rather forced love-interest played by Jessamine-Bliss Bell, and Sean's uncle Brian, which features the return of William Baldwin reprising his role from the original with about as much enthusiasm and vigor as a pine cone. Baldwin is no great actor and Brian was never a very interesting character to begin with, but this lifeless performance was one of the most disappointing things about this movie.

Not alone however was the dull Mr. Baldwin in his return, we are also treated to Donald Sutherland again as Ronald. Sutherland is still a consummate professional and treats this role with a little more fun and less of a sinister nature than he did in the original. He is a joy to behold in this film, hamming it up just enough for you to still take him seriously as this sort of Hannibal Lector of arson.

The real failing of this movie is it's very rushed, uneven pacing. For a runtime of 1 hour and 41 mins, it sometimes feels like they treated it as if it were 45 mins, with messy scenes featuring piles of exposition blurted out all at once, but the next we're given a slower moment of Sean in deep thought or dramatic build up towards action scenes with weak payoffs. I feel this falls on the director, Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego (known mostly for the abysmal found footage piece "Apollo 18") and harder still is it to believe that Ron Howard was an Executive Producer on this. Maybe he just got a check to put his name on it to attract fans of the original and went about his duties with the same enthusiasm as William Baldwin went about his...

I know this sounds pretty bad, but it almost feels like a backdoor pilot episode to a "Backdraft" series. It keeps your attention well enough and even has some very decent action and fire scenes that actually had me on edge a bit. I think this film gets judged too harshly by some. But, I think they did okay. Despite the uneven nature of the script, Greg Widen still achieves some good dialogue throughout and the actors who gave a damn really raise the quality of the film overall. I give 5/10. Good for killing 2 hours on Netflix. Enjoy or at least try to.

I was very conflicted about the announcement of a reboot of "The Twlight Zone" under Jordan Peele. Or anyone for that matter. I felt that the writing talent pool the original series had could not be replicated and therefore neither could the show quality. Granted, Mr. Peele has proven to be a gifted writer, and I heard he would be given real control over the series- something no writer was given on previous reboot attempts- so, I was hopeful. And with the first episode, "The Comedian", I'm confident the show is in good hands.

The episode focuses on a struggling stand up comedian who's given a new approach to take by a more successful comic, but with a warning, and it soon comes to pass that the success he wanted may cost more than he bargained for.

This is a classic Rod Sterling set up. Kumail Nanjiani plays the lead in question and really fits the part. He's believable and a competent actor. The episode is aided by the presence of Tracy Morgan as Kumail Nanjiani's benefactor, Morgan is very effective, I feel since his accident he's more grounded. He carries an aura of worldliness about him and it really shows here.

But, the acting is not the magic here. The camera work and lighting sets the mood well. The story is told in traditional Twlight Zone fashion with some striking differences- it's in color, which still irks me, and there is profanity which caught me off guard. But the hour long run time bugs me the most. It drags a bit, while still being entertaining. The original series' (mostly) half hour format made the tales more savory, I think. More enjoyable. Refreshing. This episode felt very heavy and too long. But, I don't know how it could be reduced to 30 mins and still work.

This was a solid episode that would compare well to the show's past entries, but would be decidedly average in the grand scheme of things. I'm glad they chose this as the lead off entry, it catches the spirit of the classic series and promises more to come. I fear too much sociatal and/or political commentary in the future, but the original series had plenty of that. So, maybe it's only natural that things head in that direction. But, for now, things are off to a good start. I hope for more- and better- things to come.

After the success and popularity of the original "Mobile Suit Gundam", it was going to be a tall task to deliver a follow up that stood up to it's predecessor. I tell you not only did they create something that was as good as the original, but better in many ways.

"Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam" is the second installment in the franchise but stands alone as a more gritty, dark, and emotional experience that is rarely seen in the often shiny and bright mech genre. The gut-wrenching and horrifying realities of war was something only touched on occasionally in the original series, here it is something that dominates the landscape from start to finish. It really causes pain to watch new and old characters go through the ordeals they do in these 50 episodes. The show is, in a word, depressing.

The quality and depth of characters in this installment rivals any other Anime series while the artwork is dated, it still holds up well. The mechs featured are all pretty awesome and make up some of the best battles of the franchise, giving the viewer plenty of that sweet, sweet, 'splosion porn. The storyline is the best the franchise has offered and the voice acting is top-notch as well. Sub vs. Dub is a win/win, while the English cast is good- the Japanese cast is great with many, if not all, the previous actors reprising their roles from the first series.

The one downside of this show is it might actually be TOO dark at times. The amount of loss and pain experienced might be too much for the average mech fan. There were moments in this show that actually made me tear up. I own this entire series on DVD, but it grows dusty on my shelf because it's 50 miles of bad road and not something I am eager to experience again.

This is a must-watch for all Gundam fans, not so much for the plot points, but for the experience and ordeal you go through. If nothing else, you respect this franchise a lot more after watching Zeta. Cheers!

I haven't watched a Gundam show in a while. And by "a while" I mean at least 10 years. I got tired of the repetitive action scenes, cookie-cutter characters, and plots that were just an excuse for conflict. I dismissed new titles with fancy words like "Unicorn" and "F91" attached to them as essentially Barbie getting a new hat. But, there was something about "Iron Blooded Orphans" that just was very compelling. I gave it a watch and I am so glad I did as this is one of the better Anime shows I have watched recently, Gundam or not.

Story-wise it's pretty simple, child slaves on Mars in the distant future rise up and take over the business they were once beholden to as property. "Human Debris" is the term they use here. These children have been modified with technology so that education and training is not necessary, just plug them in and they know what to do. This instantly makes the cast of young protagonists easy to get behind. How can you not root for enslaved children to win? The plot is a bit weighed down by politics, sub plots, and many factions in what feels like a jigsaw puzzle of a story at times. I actually went out of my way to learn many names of governments and factions that ended up playing little to no role in the plot itself. Don't trouble yourself too hard with these details. The meat of the plot is the kids and their fight to survive the war they have set themselves up for by standing up. This is not war in the sense of excuses to have battles, comment on how awful it is, then experience no loss as many of these shows often do, this treats battle for what it is- hell. Casualties are suffered and comrades are mourned on both sides with a gritty emphasis placed on the youth of the fallen. I finished a few episodes with a depressed feeling. The Gundam itself is almost an afterthought!

The plot is helped along with a colorful cast of characters. There is no main character to be sure, but a central core four. Starting with the pilot of the primary mech, Mikazuki. In past shows, this kid would be the focus of the show 90% of the time. But, he is so subdued that it would be hard to just concentrate on him. He seems almost boring at first, but you learn very quickly that it's just one layer to what may be the most complex character in franchise history. A devoted, loyal, and courageous fighter but also a stone cold killer. Capable of compassion and tenderness, but also a lust for blood. Mikazuki follows the orders of Orga, the leader of the kids, Orga serves as military commander, business manager, big brother, and in many ways father to children he leads, putting a lot of weight on his shoulders while still managing to keep an ever present spike on the tip of his hair. That thing could put someone's eye out! Hair do aside, Orga generates a lot of sympathy from the responsibility he holds. He must give orders that may result in the deaths of those who are- not just employees and soldiers- but family members. A position he struggles with at times, but succeeds in ultimately. Then there is Kudelia, the leading lady, I think she is where the show fails the most in characters. Serving as the "only hope" character, she is generic in that she wants equality for an oppressed people, while detesting violence. She hires the band of child soldiers to escort her to Earth to meet with "X" government to discuss "Y" trade laws, but also hates all the bloodshed she causes by embarking on this journey. Thankfully she accepts it as a necessary evil to accomplish a greater good, but otherwise serves only as a stereotypical princess and love interest for Mikazuki. Finally there is McGillis, the resident Char Aznable type, who serves as antagonist and anti-hero. I won't give too much away, but he is a man with plans of his own while serving Gjallahorn, the main bad guys in pretentiously over-the-top uniforms to match their snobby personalities, making them as easy to hate as the kids are easy to root for. The rest make up a strong supporting cast, including a guy who dresses like a pimp and has a bad-ass ship crewed by his harem of hot wives earning him the award of "Luckiest Man In Space".

The cast of mechs in this is a good one, too. The primary Gundam "Barbatos" is interesting in that it has very little in terms of fire power, but makes up it melee. Most of the mechs in this show rely on some form of hand-to-hand combat weapon as their primary piece, making it short on sweet, sweet, 'spolsion porn yet gnarly in the way they show the carnage and brutality of each impact, fluids (blood and oil) spew frequently, with a lot agonizing scenes of machines being torn apart methodically along with their helpless pilots. This was the first show I have seen that took the glamour away from being a Gundam pilot and equates it more like being a medieval era knight. The battle scenes are some of the finest I have seen in almost any Anime, and the art and effects showcased in the them is the best I have seen in a Gundam series. Speaking of art, the character designs themselves are very bright and colorful, contrasting the dark atmosphere they live in, and hearken back to the days of the original series. They even have one of the male characters pilot a bright pink mobile suit. Real men wear pink. Just ask Vegeta. I found the music be to only above average with some good opening and closing themes to start with, "Raise Your Flag" by Man With A Mission served as a good tune to get the blood pumping for an episode and "Orphans no Namida" by Misia as a more bluesy and sullen closing theme that is catchy and fits the often sad endings to many episodes. The Sub vs. Dub battle here is no contest in my opinion, the Japanese cast destroys the English one in terms of quality of performance and fit. There is also a slight emphasis on the fact they speak Japanese, so accuracy plays a part as well. Go Sub or go home.

This is a gritty experience from start to finish, yes the cast is primarily young children, but they are not innocent. They are products of the environment they were raised in. Each day is a fight to survive, not just for their own future, but for the ones who died fighting for that future. The show succeeds brilliantly in it's mix of emotional moments and awesome fight scenes so that it feels like a complete experience. The season ends well with a sense of closure, but still leaves plenty open for Season 2 which I eagerly look forward to. I would dare call this show a masterpiece if it were not for some episodes that dragged too long with politics and a few side characters that were introduced suddenly and forced to develop too quickly (looking at you, Carta Issue). I enjoyed this show immensely and recommend it to Anime fans in general as a great intro to the Gundam franchise and a very good series regardless. 9/10. Check it out. Cheers!

The anthology horror film is a staple of the genre. One of the better ones in recent memory was 1995's "Tales From The Hood". A film that relied heavily on good stories, solid effects, and the twist of social commentary intertwined in each tale. Supported by a hammy but effective performance by Clarence Williams III as the defacto "host" and canter of the stories, it earned it's rightful place as a fun film for anyone who wanted a bit of a bloodcurdling experience. It was ripe for a sequel, but it seemed like it would never happen... until 2018. Sadly, it wasn't worth the wait...

The sad habit of sequels failing to live up to the original once again rears it's ugly head as "Tales From The Hood 2" finally came to be. The elements for success were all there, the original Writer/Director Rusty Cundieff returns with Spike Lee producing, and gives us a film so low on scary and so high on silly, it feels like this whole thing was a massive prank. A middle finger to anyone who wanted a sequel.

Instead of Clarence Williams III showing people around his creepy funeral home, we have the charismatic- yet woefully boring- Keith David telling tales to a computer owned by some Donald Trump-ish character. (SciFi was not the way to go for this genre). And these are barely socially relevant tales that bring more giggles than anything else with a cast of no-name actors and actresses who may one day rise to fame, but for now just take up screen time with passable performances.

To watch this film is to suffer. The only thing it succeeds in is making the original look like an all-time great by comparison. Greatly disappointing. Avoid this movie. 3/10! TERRIBLE!!!

In "Eraser", Arnold Schwarzenegger is a U.S. Marshall who specializes in helping government witnesses disappear. Once again, he's a tough, savvy, one man army. This time he's up against some corrupt government agencies, a weapons manufacturer, the Italian Mafia, the Russian Mafia, bad guys trying to kill him with superweapons, bad guys trying to kill him with planes, and even crocodiles trying to eat him.

Needless to say, with the help of some guns, muscle, gizmos, and a few one-liners, Arnold does what he does best. His damsel in distress/sidekick in this is the well above average Vanessa Williams, who plays her role competently and successfully while not being annoying or completely helpless. The incomparable James Caan fills in as Arnold's opposite number in this one. A wonderfully campy performance, while still maintaining that trademark charisma that makes him stand out from your average action baddy. In a lot of ways, he succeeds in stealing the show. The late Robert Pastorelli rounds out the main cast as the comic relief/buddy support character playing up the Italian stereotype all the way.

This is probably the last movie of Arnold's prime and features much of the same tropes and clichés as his earlier work, but succeeds in having some fairly entertaining scenes and good spots. But, some of the mindless logic that takes place here is beyond forgivable. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but you will see things that should have you yelling at the screen. Beyond that however, it's a popcorn flick. 5/10. Enjoy.

Horror movies are supposed to make you feel uneasy from the start. Just not in the way this one did... "American Poltergeist" comes in with the bar set low already and then proceeds to bury with bad acting, bad writing, bad directing, and absolutely no scares whatsoever.

The setting and camera work look like that of a reality show. The same can be said for the cast who are all attractive young men and (mostly) women. Save for Donna Spangler who is the leading lady and while older and certainly attractive enough to keep up with the eye candy, she gives by far the worst performance here. Attempting to be creepy and haunting, she comes off more as apathetic and wooden. The rest deliver subparly and their characters are so badly developed they needed name tags.

Bad acting I can handle, especially with the lousy dialogue, and I expect it with a horror movie- but this movie provides no atmosphere. The house is gorgeous, well lit, filled with museum quality items. It's very inviting. And by just turning the lights off one doesn't succeed in making it creepy or forboding. The jump scares are weak. The effects cheap and unoriginal.

I won't spoil plot details but they really tried to justify the title of "American" haunting by dragging Lizzy Borden into this farce and throwing the old trope of insinuating that this is based on a true story.

This whole mess seemed to be a convoluted effort so that writer/producer Nicole Holland could play dress up as Lizzie Borden and live out some strange fantasy. A promised paycheck will lead many to do things they normally would scoff at. That's the only explanation I have for this piece of crap film as it delivered 40 whacks with an axe to genre it claims membership in. 2/10: AVOID AT ALL COSTS!