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emiddletonweaver
Reviews
Stratton (2017)
Pathetic!
Don't write reviews often. Just when they're really good, or really bad. Please trust me on this one: It's truly awful! Whether the direction, the script, or Connie Nielsen's accent is the worst part, is up for debate; personally I would have to say it has to be the director. I mean, seriously! What were they thinking was good about what they were doing? Some decent actors try to do their best. But the direction is painful, the dialogue is risible, and Connie Nielsen's accent.................! This is definitely a couple of hours you will regret on your deathbed! Such a shame, as could have been a grand action movie with the right person at the helm
Backcountry (2014)
Truly Awful!
In fact: truly, truly awful! Generic, predictable, lamer than a crap 1970s horror flick, where the characters keep walking down dark alleys/into empty houses when a psychopath/monster is on the loose! And the bear head?! Don't get me started on the bear head! Risible is the only word! Do yourself a favour, and watch "The Edge" instead. Even if you've just finished watching "The Edge" for the millionth time on the trot, it would still be a better use of your time than abusing your eyes and mind with this atrocious tripe! It was almost as irritating, watching this movie all the way through to the end, as it is having to add extra words on to this review, in order to pad it out to the absurd requisite length! Get a life IMDb!
Beyond a Reasonable Doubt (2009)
Absolutely no doubt how awful this is!
This is a remake of a 50s movie of the same name, which apparently though fairly implausible, was at least suspenseful and vaguely thrilling, unlike this torpid effort. That it was directed by Peter Hyams is incomprehensible, as the man has made some pretty good movies in his time, (Capricorn One for example), and though partial to remakes, has had success with some of these as well, (see Outland, a sci-fi remake of High Noon). But I think he must have been either drunk, or under duress when he made this, as from the start it looks and feels like a TV movie; and not even roping in his old colleague, Michael Douglas, can elevate it from this. The production feels cheap, it's sloppily directed, and edited atrociously. The music sounds like it was scored by a student, (of Theoretical Physics), and the lead character is played by the Desperate Housewives resident topless tottie, Jesse Metcalfe, who is only convincing in making us realise why he was destined to remain on TV! I have to admit I only wasted 40 minutes of my life on it! The plot was glaringly obvious from an early point, where Hyams has the camera linger for so long on the tattooed fingers of the supposedly dead subject of Metcalfe's award winning documentary, that even George W. Bush could have worked out it was going to be relevant to a plot "twist" later! So after I couldn't take any more pain, I jumped to the end of the movie to check if it panned out the way I thought it was going to, and was so glad I did, as it was indeed that tritely obvious! And when the female lead speaks the final cheesy line of the movie, you unfortunately feel like it's the director directly addressing you, as she turns to the camera and says "Fuck you"!