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Ladyboy (2011)
9/10
a warm movie
20 December 2013
The word ladyboy is usually associated with the shallow porn industry and this movie wants to break that mold.

Its trying to give you a keyhole into a human being and whats under the labels of identity.

We get to follow a dragshow queen trough her form of everyday adventure. The storyline is not very complex but its not supposed to be. So i cant really go into the plot without taking away your enjoyment.

Its very warm and rewarding and easy to relate to kind of movie. Something i find more and more rare to be honest in the movie industry.

I truly recommend it.
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Homeland (2011–2020)
1/10
Its horrible
8 October 2013
Have you ever been to a super-mall and run into a kid screaming and kicking pouting its lip with tears and snot flying everywhere to get what it wants?

Imagine that kid growing up unaltered and you have the main character Carrie.

The plot is linear and flat. The characters are cardboard 2d flat. The environment is uninteresting.

The good guys is Americas homeland security that consist of cellphones 2 random guys in swat gear and some backdrop characters who never gets to do anything other then make Carrie cry make her underlip shiver and push snot out with the tears flying.

They are all bumbling idiots unable to tie their own shoe laces. The biggest most advanced monitoring and security machine ever made in the human history is ignored.

There is no monitoring software,no satellites no helicopters no nothing. Just a handful of idiots with cellphones. Im actually surprised they didn't use steam engine trains or bicycles but was allowed to use cars!

The opposing side that comes from countries filled with sand and don't have running water or schools or hospitals or basically anything but sand and goat herders and poverty on the other hand can execute flawless plans under the nose of the biggest most well-funded paranoid military complex in the world.

The actors are not bad its not their fault,its how the show is written.

I have never ever hated a character from a TV show so much as Carrie.

If you can tie your own shoelaces and count to potato i honestly think this show is beneath you and would recommend The bridge instead that at least tries to develop characters and some kind of a plot.
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3/10
its a medium low quality action flick
28 June 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Spoiler warning.

The movie plot is based on the idea of north Korea who is to poor to even have electric lights during nighttime (satelite footage don't lie) to assault the most well guarded house in the world, the white house.

And actually defeat the apparatus of the most well armed paranoid nation in the world with the biggest war budget of mankind at its disposal.

Yeah...

Had it been pre - 9/11 i guess it wouldn't sound so horribly bad as a plot device.

Anyway if you can somehow swallow that plot you get into a secret service one man army hero who is on a quest to defeat the attackers and free the president and his son.

The acting is a bit cardboard dry and the bad guys are very cliché. The story is so tilted and poorly executed you don't really have to follow the story at all.

You know the outcome after 10 minutes and after that you just wait for it to unfold.

If you want to watch pure action i would recommend the old die hard movie instead it has better acting.

If you want a invasion attack movie i think Red dawn from 1984 also does that better.

I somehow don't get the feeling its the actors fault this movie fell so flat on its face i think its the people behind the camera to blame on this one.
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AE: Apocalypse Earth (2013 Video)
B movie with all the flaws
29 May 2013
Warning: Spoilers
The movie starts out with earth under attack and the population who apparently only is 20 people is evaccing off the planet in space ships.

The main character is a soldier that ends up on one of the ships during the assumed chaos.

He wakes up from hibernation and find the crew is hunted by stealthy aliens.

The acting is pretty bad. It has the all the flaws a b movie has when its bad, shaky handcam wooden dialogs plot holes and non likable characters.

Like all bad b movies it feels the need to keep a high pace without it adding content.

Airsoft guns and some cgi and you have it nailed down. There is no reason to care about anyone since its not believable or developed.

The background is not explained or anything else either. I think the reason for the high pace is to try and avoid showing the flaws in the acting but it only makes it worse.

So you starts the story nowhere and it goes nowhere and in the meantime its not any point to get interested.

Avoid it if you can.
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Mental (2012)
10/10
epic movie laughed like mad
27 May 2013
You shouldn't read this you should just watch it! Sometimes you stumble over a fresh movie thats pure genius this is one of them.

The movie centers about a suburban broken home and it starts out a bit kinda meh but keep accelerating from there on to pure mental enjoyment.

It take lemons and makes lemonade mace you can spray in the face of your everyday depression.

It reminds me somehow of Hedwig and the angry inch in stylistic way of touching the mundane boring bizarre dark parts of life in a way that jolts you in a good way.

It probably has the best ending of a movie I've seen since the text scrolling dialog in a knights tale.

The story is not the important part hence i don't focus on it,its the ride itself with the characters.

I rarely get to write positive review on IMDb so I'm glad i watched this movie and you should to :)
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2/10
its horrible
26 April 2013
I cant believe Rob Zombie made this movie. If you liked his others movies you should probably avoid this one.

We follow Heidi a rock radio talk show host that lives in a town called salem...we don't really get a picture of the town and or the people so it just remains a name.

Salem has a dark past history relating to witchcraft. The circle of actors in this movies is very narrow. The acting is good but the storyline is weak and not even researched enough to use any common symbolics towards satanism or witchcraft and is more what a 10 year old kid imagines what it should be.

You have no reason to care about any of the characters since they aren't developed or actually matter in any way. I found myself drifting and fiddling with stuff and walking away from the movie because i was so bored.

Its bland and poorly developed, there are some artistic scenes here and there but they don't really relate to the story.

There is no reason to watch this movie im a big fan of Rob Zombies other movies and i love his music but this feels more like a 100 dollar budget movie from sifi channel in the bad 1980s way.

Im curious if he actually made it...or if its just his name on the product because it all felt very alien.
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7/10
its dumb cliché and fun to watch
21 August 2012
its filled with every b movie action scene known to man. everyone talk with deep burly macho voice using one-liners. people have nitro as blood because they explode when shot. the plot is lousy and full of more holes then the billions of dead enemies in this movie.

the animation effects is horrible.

but its fun.

it has self-distance and its nice to be able to shut down the brain and just watch.

i recommend it and hopefully it has burned out b action movie plots/characters for all eternity so hard you will never have to go trough it ever again in this life.
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1/10
good movie if your 12 years old
20 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I don't honestly understand how this movie get so high rating its really horrible.

The movie is based around the idea of holliday warriors...something that exists in real life warzones where young men go over the weekend to fire a few shots on some enemy.

But they changed it to rich people can buy a ticket into a warzone and get some action.

This is no spoiler if you have seen the trailer. The casted people is actually not bad actors but the end product is horrible.

You see brand new uniforms a lot of airsoft rifles and people who don't know anytning about being tactical at all,this movie obviously had no attempt to make it feel real at all its more like a bmovie drug dealer action "lets pretend we know what we are doing since we didn't use any advisors on holding a rifle or that clothes in a warzone isn't brand new".

The only thing missing is the eye of the tiger theme song really.

The story line is poor and leads nowhere. You get the feeling they had 5 minutes worth of ideas and filled the rest with "stuff".

The actors don't really even try...its almost depressive. You don't have any character development at all you don't care about anybody.

The entire thing is an insult to anyone above 12 years old...and i think actually they would get out more of most first person shooters story then this to be honest.

How the mighty has fallen..i cant believe they actually got this cast into this production ...they must desperate for money. I have seen a lot of them in higher quality movies and they can all do a lot better then this.

If you injoy kids arm flailing playing war with wooden rifles and make no sense or care story this is for you except the kids are 40+ years old here.
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10/10
incredible quality documentary about trappers and life in the wild
3 June 2012
This is the quality you dream discovery channel had..maybe they did years ago. We get to follow the lives of fur trappers in remote siberia. It gives insight to how we lived before the 9-5 jobs at least in scandinavia its probably the best wilderness documentary I've seen.

Its down to earth and the scenery is jawdropping. Its a hard but honest life and a lot of humanity yet still the wilderness stares back at you from the screen.

If you like documentaries with ray mears or expeditions with lars monsen this for you. Without the drama or the smugness of teaching you get to follow how they have learned to live with nature and not against it.

And its not focused with misery just because they are off grid and not part of the consumer hysteria (amazing).

Its nice for once not having to do a review to warn viewers but instead recommend it. Watch this you will not be sorry.
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10/10
brilliant dark humour
9 April 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Mixture of movies like bad santa and idiocracy with massmurder added.

The movie follows a maincharacter who is a middle aged man that is to be as average as possible. He watches typical TV and hates it,has a typical job and hates it. His family is divorced and he hates it.

It starts out slow and gets going after the main character is diagnosed with brain cancer and you get to ride along in the backseat.

If you have ever read a newspaper and just felt depressed or watched news and just hated every idiot spewing stupid stuff out of it this is the relief you need.

The movie has very relaxed and dark sense of humour it doesn't try to be violence focused or gory.

If you ever felt like doing an Elvis and just shoot your TV with a gun this is the movie for you.

I can see this becoming a cult classic.
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Act of Valor (2012)
5/10
realistic but flawed
14 March 2012
This is a hard movie to review because it portrays the life of men and women who risk their lives for the safety of everyone.

So its hard to be critic because you simply don't want disrespect the men and woman in service in countries worldwide.

But! it is a movie i will review it as such its not a review of the military or real heroes.

Have you ever played a 3d shooter game where found it being only the cut-scenes being the good parts? This movie is like that its cut-scenes are show of force that the military hardware can bring its jaw dropping firepower is stunning and with impressive machinery.

The firefights are realistic and impressive but the acting between is really flat. You don't develop any attachment to the characters and the conversations feel forced...you never sense any real bonds or brotherhood between the cast members.

You get a feeling its supposed to be a commercial for the American military but it fails because of poor acting...the non stop shootings somehow become that 3d shooter where the story line is so bad you just grind because you bought the game and want it to end.

The strange part if the most character development (the little to be had) was from the bad guys in the movie.

I wouldn't rent this movie with close friends or family really...but if your into realistic military stuff this is probably the thing for you all the stuff is done non Hollywood style.

I really wanted to like it more because its symbolic value and attempts to shed light over reallife heroes...but it sadly fell short.
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Threads (1984 TV Movie)
horror garbage
16 August 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Its movie made in a documentary style but with a lot of cheap shot horror images. Its plays on the simple assumption everyone is a person without basic knowledge of how to survive without your ipod or TV.

I cant speak for the rest of the world but where i live its common knowledge you don't drink water that is standing still out of a ditch.

Because if your not somehow confined to living in concrete 360 degrees its something you learn you find a spring with clear fresh moving water.

You also don't eat raw meat during fallout-dust is raining down on you.

It tries to convey the buildup to nuclear war and the aftermath. The entire world has somehow forgot basic skills like soap and water to keep sickness at bay very much the same way we survived the plague as human race.

We have also forgotten the entire world war 1 and world war 2 apparently and don't know how to run cars and truck on wood gas but are just staring at empty gasoline cans instead.

We apparently don't know how to farm either or use a wood stow to survive.

Its basically just fear mongering and its not objective and it plays on unbacked fear that the human race was born yesterday and don't know anything anymore beyond pushing buttons.

It basically ignores the entire history of the human race that actually progressed to where it is at today from being naked with a rock in the hand.

We would not be totally destroyed its basically impossible to destroy the entire human race.

we also have this thing called books that don't run on power and people who are farmers and engineers and small villages who are miles and miles away from anyone that don't implode if the power goes out.

The movie basically says that we are all going to die in the most horror filled ways you can think of.

It shouldn't be considered a documentary or even objective or the truth. You should view it as horror movie where logic and facts don't really take part.

Its probably just trying to make point about that we all got lazy and useless without any real power to work for our living without computers.

but it cant be taken serious since its to one sided and ignorant.
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gritty gripping dark ride
23 July 2011
Warning: Spoilers
A masterpiece.

The movie revolves around two returning war vets from Vietnam.

The main character comes back to his hometown and family and is subjected to a lot of events but he remains in the center with a silent numb removed dark aura and stays silent most of the time.

After being tortured during his time as prisoner of war he lost the connection to it all and regards himself as dead. The silence is in some movies better then music and this is one of them.

The only thing he holds dear is his son. During a home invasion to rob him he loses his family.

That doesn't really spoil the movie though because its so much more to the film.

it has violence but its not what drives the movie its just a ripple from the center of this dark tale and it reaches into the void of someone who has sunk under the ice and don't longer remembers what being human is no matter if its love sex or pain or money.

The only modern movie that i can say it might be somewhat in the same category is the the hunted where we also find mr tommy lee jones acting.

If you like 60s and 70s movies and sick of cheapo matic flying ninjas i truly really recommend this movie you wont regret it.
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1/10
ultra gore b movie
1 July 2011
very surprised to se rutger hauer star in such poor movie even though he likes to try odd b projects even this is far below him.

the movie is pretty low budget. acting is really cheesy and poor. it is basically about a hobo in a town where everyone is a sadist psycho. buckets and buckets of blood and poorly made over the top violence where you can apparently break and arm in two with one hand etc.

weird effects like red light and smoke inside a hospital is just one of the weird stuff that don't make any sense.

i think it actually dragged some pretty good actors below their own level.

brian downey did really good in lexx but here its just kinda painful to watch him act.

rutger and molly really struggels to keep the movie floating despite what it is but they are overpowered by how bad the entire production is.

basically you can tell the actors cant themselves really take it serious or believe in the mess of story it is.

I've seen a lot of b movies and ultragore but this is probably the worst one so far.

save your money rent something else.

this is just junk.
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Repo Men (2010)
1/10
self loathing movie *spoilers*
26 June 2010
Warning: Spoilers
The first scifi film i have actually hated. i love scifi, i wathc them all the Hollywood ones,the old ones,the b-movies (most of them are).

i can forgive a lot for a scifi movie if the concept is good in its bones.

This movie is based on two long time friends working as repomen. they basically take back modern version of pacemakers etc when they cant pay the bills.

they cut people open in the street. they kill them in the homes and has some gore.

But the movies has a twist. the difference between this movie and a good movie is if you use a anecdote detail to change the point of view from a film it must only change the way you see the same structure from a to b.

but in this movie it actually deletes 1/3 of the movie and removes the reward for dragging yourself trough this black bitter depressive sludge that the other 2/3 are.

this movie tells you that:

friendship is false and pointless. love is false and pointless. that this movie is false and pointless. that the viewer is false and pointless.

its the only scifi where i have wanted to meet the movie maker behind it and punch him in the face for wasting my time with some personal bitter scorn against the world.
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10/10
cage plays suit who thinks he becomes a vampire
5 October 2007
I think this is the best role Cage has ever played. Its about middle boss who is unsatisfied with his life. Slowly a change starts that leads to a very strange tale. The story is unusual and very good. Cage does an excellent role and you character isn't flat and empty like most big blockbusters are. I really do recommend this film..it has a lot of dark humour.

The vampire saga in a modern version where evil has been substituted with insanity..there is no more evil people..just insane ones. The 80s environment is just a bonus flashback.

The connection back to regular folklore is that vampires always was noble people and in the modern version that would be a boss.

I think this movies is a gem and its strange you don't see it more often as a rerun. I don't want to spoil the plot even if its not really that complex.
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Reeker (2005)
1/10
it makes you sleepy, bad script, bad plot
15 September 2007
Warning: Spoilers
its kind the of movie where you don't get to see anything until the end..by then you don't care anymore. the characters run around being helpless and don't react in a normal way to what happens. its just annoying.

its not even so bad that its funny. i don't recommend it. the few effect they use are also bad. i almost feel asleep and couldn't wait until it was over.

you get the feeling it could have been so much more with a better plot and not using the cheap trick of hiding the "bad things" that happens to add excitement.
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1/10
Very poor acting
31 January 2006
I love war movies. I watch them all and have probably covered 80% av all the war movies on IMDb.com no matter how they are rated because some people just have bad taste. I watch black and white war movies and foreign movies you name it.

But this movie is horrible. The acting is like watching bay watch but in Iraq.

they have all the gear and the environment but they cant perform at all. the plot is thin even for a war movie.

You cant connect to anyone in the movie at all.

Its also lacking realism they stand 2 meters from each other and fire rpgs and saw machine guns for like 5 minutes but don't hit anything.

I think this is the worst war movie i have ever seen.
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The Hunt for Eagle One (2006 Video)
2/10
*warning spoilers*its bad
31 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
We got a black hawk d...ops i meant eagle one down. The actors in this movies is actually not that bad but the story is really poor. They have really bad education on tactical movements and remind mostly of actors trying to be soldiers. their cqb tactics are to all run in a big bunch.

Their weapons are really really wrong. The most disturbing is a guy using a redpoint on top of a m16 carry handle AND a high mount so its like in the forehead..very annoying. And he is their sharpshooter..it gave me a headache.

The pilot is probably a super soldier because even after torture and being smacked around her haircut is in perfect condition.

the so called regular army don't have battle vests at all i guess the budget was used up.

Rugter has no real role in this movie they just wanted his name in the movie.

You should go for another movie if you like war movies. If you don't know anything about war and weapons and just want something to look at while eating popcorn Sunday 4 in the morning i guess its OK to fall asleep to.
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