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jackpalmigeri
Reviews
Jason X (2001)
Fantastic self-aware horror comedy
The best f13 film. It's self aware, fun and features the best Jason kills. The start is amazing, but the real fun begins when he goes to space. This features some of the best comedy horror I've seen. Jason has one of the most amazing designs in film history. Some of it is corny but in a good funny way. I never got the hate for it. After the 4th film (the 5th doesn't count cause it doesn't have real Jason in it) the f13 series is basically a parody of itself so I don't get why people got so pissed specifically at Jason X. It's meant to be stupid comedy horror and it absolutely nails it. Also the Uber Jason design is FANTASTIC. Absolutely worth it would watch again.
Morbius (2022)
Changed my life
This is one of the movies of 2022, if not of the last decade, if not of all time. The movie had leading actors, supporting actors and antagonists. The movie had one of the plots I've ever seen and had a direction. The dialogue was written and the scenes were acted. The CGI was animated and the scenes made me feel feelings. Jared Leto and the actors did a job and said the lines with large amounts of normality. I will also point out that it was shot with cameras and the special effects were there. The antagonist was bad and opposed the main character. When Jared Leto said "It's morbin time" i knew this movie was a masterpiece, everybody at the theater screamed and cried tears of joy. I will say with ease that this is one of the films that was made and one that people watched. If I had to rate this movie from 1 to 10, I would.
Awake (2021)
Netflix please stop producing films
Alright. Where do I start? This film is boring at best and a low budget boring piece of cheap filmmaking at worst. I think they just told the scriptwriter "Look, we have a budget for a 1 and a half hour film with only 3 leading actors ,1 side one and a hundred supporting ones. Write something that makes at least half since and we're shooting next week".
Alright so basically something (idk what. Seriously the film never explains it other than it's possible that it's related to the sun) happens and people can't sleep. Apparently in this film's universe staying awake for a few more hours means you become a crazy serial killer that wants to kill everything in sight. The entire film feels like it's 3 hours long despite the fact that it's only 1 and a half hour.
Alright so after 20 minutes or so the leading woman and her son and daughter meet a prisoner who has escaped and they become friends for some reason idk. Later they for some reason give him the car and she discovers a facility where they try to find a cure for people to sleep. An old lady in the facility and the little daughter of the leading woman are apparently the only people in the world (or is this disease where people can't sleep just in America? Idk it's never explained either) who can sleep after the event. They kidnap the girl, the protagonist's son and the black guy who apparently found the kids and is back for some reason and put them in the facility. They wanna experiment on the girl but after chaos ensues because a soldier thought he saw a grenade everything falls apart and they discover that the way to recover sleeping is by dying and getting resurrected so they kill the mom and she comes back and... That's it. No seriously THAT'S how it ends without anything truly explained. Like what? I could go on and critisize more stuff but I am bored.
Seriously watch ANYTHING ELSE.
D.B. Cooper: Where Are You?! (2022)
Harassment: The Documentary
Quite literally "Harassment: The Documentary". The first episode is fine but the rest are insufferable. Basically it focuses on this stubborn conspiracy theorist named Thomas Colbert and his team of also very stubborn conspiracy theorists who are obsessed with catching DB Cooper. Those people seem to get some, weird satisfaction from harassing Rackstraw? Like they harass him, try to manipulate him, lie to him, and generally stalk him. That man literally lost his job and his business thanks to this guy's harassment and obsession with him. Those people should be in jail. They are nothing more than crazy conspiracy theorists no different from flat earthers. Also they literally dispute actual witnesses, that's how stubborn they are.
Itan axios (1982)
He was worthy!
It's Gkousgkounis, need I say more? The man, the myth, the legend stars as himself in a classic 80's comedy with memorable lines. Seriously you will laugh your heart out with some of the scenes here. Especially since he recently passed away you should watch it at least once in his memory.
Corky Romano (2001)
I swear to God, Tommy Wiseau actually makes better movies
Tommy Wiseau's the room is unironically better. Not from a so bad it's good viewpoint, from every single viewpoint, it's actually better. Tommy Wiseau has actual better acting unironically than the lead actor. What the hell were they smoking? Idk what it is, the acting is just, desperately trying to be comedic, it's actually unfunny. 50% of this movie's problem is the acting. The only guy I like Is the old guy ("Pops"?), everyone else is just, terrible. Not to mention that it's badly filmed and there's a ton of mistakes. I swear to God Idk how I lasted half an hour. Don't watch this film, whatever you do don't. The script is bad, the filming is bad, the acting is bad, the dialogues are bad, the characters are insufferable, the plot is all over the place. I would rather stare at water for 1 and a half hour.
Pirates of Treasure Island (2006)
it's like potc but bad
Awful. makes the room look like the godfather. seriously,what's up with this film? i hate it,go watch pirates of the caribbean instead,and if you find a copy of this film burn it,BURN IT
Mars Attacks! (1996)
underrated
I will keep this short:
it's funny,smart and slapstick comedy! it's a great homage/satire of old 50's and 60's B-movies. and it's amazing! i like how the aliens look and i like how here they invade us because of a misunderstanding!
The Bachelor (2016)
Off-brand Hangover
This movie is like you took the glorious trilogy hangover,and you ruined all the jokes,it's such a rip-off,if you wanna watch it,just watch hangover instead,the hangover is 100% better
The Tommy Wi-Show (2011)
Oh hai alien
Simply a masterpiece,I hope they continue it,great show Tommy, you are my favorite filmmaker.
Call Me Kevin (2016)
More like bore Ragnarok
MORE like bore Ragnarok? MORE like bore Ragnarok? MORE like bore Ragnarok
Fateful Findings (2013)
Breenius
A masterpiece,an absolute masterpiece. Neil Breen delivers a masterpiece which will change you.
The Room (2003)
still better anything the asylum movies
Tommy wiseau is a great man. this movie might be awful but compared to the stuff the asylum makes this is a masterpiece
Deadpool (2013)
Great game
This game was my introduction to deadpool,it is fun,funny,can be replayed,but it is also hard. all tho it doesn't have much content,like they could have added more costumes(it does have costumes in challenge mode),a bit more missions,maybe free roam mode but other than those flaws it is great and any deadpool fan should buy it.
Twisted Pair (2018)
Neil Breen/10
THE MAN,THE MYTH,THE LEGEND HAS MADE A MASTERPIECE,ALL OTHER MOVIES ARE MEANINGLESS
Mr. Iglesias (2019)
good show
I like it,not the best sitcom ever but fun to watch,sometimes cringe,but over all good show
Howard the Duck (1986)
dab on the haters!
This movie is a gem,why do people hate it so much?dab on the haters of howard!
Sausage Party (2016)
makes pirates of treasure island look great
This hot garbage just wants to attack christian people,i am a christian but i don't mind some dirty jokes and some swearing when it's funny,but this movie just used swearing in an unfunny,boring way,please just promise me you will not touch this this!
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
perfect
One of the greatest movies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ratatoing (2007)
scientists have proved that eating at ratatoing might give you cancer
It's trash can you believe that there are people that love this and think ratatouille is a rip off of ratatoing?but while it is garbage is less garbage than video briquendo"s aka video lazyripoffendo's other works