Shock Treatment (1981)
Barry Humphries: Bert Schnick
Photos
Quotes
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[Audience cheers as Bert dances in]
Bert Schnick : Hoopla Denton!
Audience : Hoopla Bert!
[Audience cheers more]
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Bert Schnick : Hey, folks, it's Ricky from the Rest Home!
'Rest Home' Ricky : Hey, Bert!
Bert Schnick : Hey, Ricky.
'Rest Home' Ricky : I've come for Mr. Majors.
Bert Schnick : Brad will learn how to care in the surgical chair!
'Rest Home' Ricky : [to Janet] Nothing serious, I hope?
Janet Majors : Oh, no, just a routine checkup.
Bert Schnick : Just a "routine checkup," eh, viewers?
[chuckles]
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Bert Schnick : [to himself] They should be sent to the Danube at dawn.
Ralph Hapschatt : What?
Bert Schnick : Just... memories.
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Bert Schnick : [as Brad is wheeled away] The subject is committed! As are we all...
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Bert Schnick : [in song] Ever since I was the eine kleine herren/It was the Cordon Bleu for which I am most carin'/And the one taste treat so sweet, it really can't be beat/Is what we have, ja, how you are, caviar, that little black mess!
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Bert Schnick : [after sending Brad to Dentonvale] The subject is committed. As are we all.
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Bert Schnick : Face it, Janet: Brad's an emotional cripple!