- Nick: Your parents know you're gay?
- Peter: Sure. Told 'em when I was 16.
- Nick: 16?
- Peter: Yep, had a boyfriend in high school. They *freaked*. You know the usual bullshit: "How could you choose this kind of lifestyle Peter?" I said, "Hey, guys, it chose me." I mean, your dick knows what it likes. You reach puberty, you don't fucking decide what sex you like. You ask your dick. You say, "Hey, Dick, what do you like?" Okay. Alright. And you go for it.
- Nick: And you said that to your parents?
- Peter: In so many words.
- Nick: Straight guys are jerks. Gay guys are jerks. Straight women are jerks. That leaves lesbians. And they're up in their ivory tower somewhere laughing their heads off at the rest of us.
- Nick: Hey, you can have my TV. Is that alright?
- Michael: Stop.
- Nick: Watch the video? It's my will.
- Michael: Put it away.
- Nick: I'm just showing you where it is
- Michael: Bullshit. You know France is working on this new drug.
- Nick: New drug, which we should get by the year two thousand. Maybe we should go to France.
- Michael: Okay.
- Robert: I explained why I'm leaving. I told you I'll be back.
- Michael: You're leaving because you don't want to be around when Nick dies. You don't want to deal with me going through that. You'll come walking back when it's all over. You better stay away man or you're going to come back to a fucking maniac. You think I can be mean now? I'm going to go after every politician, idiot doctor and smug born again asshole I can get my hands on.
- Michael: What I think will really help is if I get a word processor.
- Dave: Ah, yes, a venerable instrument.
- Michael: Kind of speed up the 'ol writing. What do you recommend?
- Dave: Well, I know a dealer out in Queens. IBM, with everything... $4,000, includes the printer.
- Michael: No. Less. Less. Mucho less.
- Dave: Wait a few years till the prices come down?
- Michael: I don't wanna wait.
- Dave: You know what I suggest?
- Michael: Yeah?
- Dave: Just write.
- Michael: Hmmm?
- Dave: You know, you get a pen, some paper, put some marks on it. Works real well.
- Michael: [sarcastically] Thanks, Dave.
- Nick: [recording on videotape] Michael, I'll never understand how you fell for that... geek. I mean, the guy looks like a fucking Ken doll.
- Michael: [answering phone] Robert?
- Betty: Michael, I caught you in.
- Michael: Oh, hi.
- Betty: Listen, Dearheart, you left your umbrella here last night.
- Michael: Oh, sorry. I'll stop by and pick it up next time I'm in the neighborhood.
- Betty: I don't suppose you know about silly Cecil running off.
- Michael: [listening] God, that's awful. Listen, you can cry on my shoulder any time.
- Betty: Heavens! I was thinking more in terms of going out and having a good time. Have you heard of this club called Area?