The Lion King 1½ (2004 Video)
Nathan Lane: Timon
Photos
Quotes
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[Timon and Pumbaa have found their dream home; Timon is talking to himself, Pumbaa is making a celebration supper]
Timon : The monkey was right! We found it! The perfect life!
Pumbaa : I'll just whip up a little something.
Timon : He had the perfect name for it, too.
Pumbaa : Come and get it!
Timon : [sits at a rock] Such a wonderful phrase. It had this rhythm. Laduda Ladada.
Pumbaa : Try this - hot tuna frittata.
Timon : Hmm. No, that's not it.
Pumbaa : The spinach armada.
Timon : Quiet, Pumbaa. I'm trying to think.
Pumbaa : A spoon of ricotta.
Timon : Two words.
Pumbaa : A wormy piccata.
Timon : Six syllables.
Pumbaa : Kahuna colada.
Timon : Twelve letters.
Pumbaa : A blue enchilada.
Timon : Rhymes with... .
Pumbaa : Legumes on a platter.
Timon : Think, think, think.
Pumbaa : [poking a dish] This oughta be hotta.
Timon : I forget.
Pumbaa : I gotta lambada!
[dances right into Timon]
Timon : HEY! How can you dance at a time like this? I'm DYIN' here!... . Ooh, sorry about that, pal.
Pumbaa : Hakuna Matata.
Timon : ....Come again?
Pumbaa : Hakuna Matata - It means "no worries". Ah-ohhhh... .
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Timon : Who knows why fate led us to little Simba?
[images of Simba scaring Timon run throughout the scene]
Timon : Maybe it was my love of adventure, my innate courage, or my... . Okay! Who's in charge of the freeze-frames?
Pumbaa : Sorry.
Timon : Anywho... . Rescuing Simba was a cinch. Then came the real scary part:
[dramatic music]
Timon : Parenthood.
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[Rafiki appears before Timon from a tree]
Timon : You! No, no, don't say a word. I know what you're going to say.
[Imitates Rafiki]
Timon : Did you find Hakuna Matata?
[Normal]
Timon : Well, yes, I did! Thank you very much.
[Laughs]
Timon : And I am happy. Happy, happy, deliriously happy.
[Imitates]
Timon : Ho ha ha! I see. Happy, is it? So, if you're so happy, why do you look so miserable?
[Normal]
Timon : Miserable, you say? Why should I be miserable? Oh, I don't know. Maybe my two best pals in the world deserted me. Heh. They - they've headed off on some heroic mission... . My friends... . are gone.
[Realizes]
Timon : And... . my Hakuna Matata went with them!
Rafiki : [smiles and nods]
Timon : [points to his head] Would you mind?
[bows his head down]
Rafiki : [lightly hits him on the head with his stick]
Timon : Ay. Thanks. I'm glad we had this talk.
[clicks his tongue at Rafiki and runs off screen]
Rafiki : [to the audience] My work here is done.
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Timon : [singing along to opening of "The Lion King"] What's on the menu? It could be ceviche. It's stinky. Ooh it's Pumbaa.
Pumbaa : I gotta tell you, Timon, that song always gets me, right here.
Timon : Yes, Pumbaa. Well, enough of that.
[fast forwards film with his remote]
Pumbaa : Uhh, Timon, what are you doing?
Timon : I'm fast forwarding to the part where we come in.
Pumbaa : But you can't go out of order.
Timon : Au contraire, my porcine pal. I've got the remote.
Pumbaa : But everyone's gonna get confused.
[picks up his own remote and rewinds film]
Pumbaa : We gotta go back to the beginning of the story.
Timon : [fast forwarding] We're not *in* the beginning of the story.
Pumbaa : [rewinding] Yes we were, the whole time.
Timon : [fast forwarding] Yeah, but they don't know that.
Pumbaa : [rewinding] Then, why don't we tell them our story?
[Film stops during the hyena attack; Timon and Pumbaa are spooked]
Timon : Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we tell them our story?
Pumbaa : Oh, I like the sound of that.
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Timon : [about a familiar log under the moon] I'm going to get old walking across this thing.
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Timon : Waaait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second.
Pumbaa : Uh, Timon? What are you doin'?
Timon : Shenzi Marie Predatora Veldetta Jacquelina Hyena... . would you do me the honor of becoming... . my bride?
Shenzi : I don't think so!
Timon : Shenzi Marie, please. I know what you're thinking: "We're too different." "It'll never work." "What will the children look like?"
Shenzi : Ooh, that violates so many laws of nature.
Timon : Listen to me! The problems of a couple of wacky kids like us don't amount to hill of termites in this nutty circle-of-life thing. And so I ask you: If not now, when? If not me, who? I'm lonely.
Pumbaa : Can I be your best man?
Banzai : I say we skip the wedding, and go straight to the buffet!
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Timon : Ahh... . I love the smell of Pumbaa in the morning.
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Timon : [about his species] We're so low on the food chain we're underground!
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Uncle Max : Timon the sentry? Why don't you save the hyenas the trouble and kill me now? JUST KILL ME NOW!
Timon : [to Mom] He has a point.
Mom : All you have to do is watch for hyenas and yell if you see one. Look at Iron Joe.
Iron Joe : [camera pans over to Iron Joe] DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES! DON'T LOOK AWAY! SOMEBODY'S GONNA GUARD US! SOMEBODY'S GONNA PROTECT US!
[sobs uncontrollably]
Timon : [camera pans over to Timon] Well, now I'm convinced... .
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Timon : We can't let them feel the love tonight.
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[Pumbaa, Timon, and Simba are all in a bubbling water hole]
Simba : Three pals and no worries, what more could you want?
[all sigh relaxingly]
Pumbaa : [yawns] Ah, I'm bushed.
[while getting out of water hole]
Pumbaa : I think I'll turn in for the night.
[bubbles stop]
Timon : I'm out!
Simba : Right behind ya!
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Timon : It's coming to me. It's either that slug I ate, or I'm having an epiphany.
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Timon : This is the start of a beautiful acquaintanceship.
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Timon : I uh, I guess I owe everyone an apology. All right so I made a teensy mistake, like we all haven't broken into song on sentry duty before uh-haha come on, let me have a show of hands! Ooook.
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[Timon is awaken by Simba singing "I Just Can't Wait to Be King"]
Timon : Oh, perfect! We moved into the theater district. Get a load of these guys. Knock it off!
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Timon : [about Simba] He's gone? Whaddaya MEAN he's gone?
Nala : It's just like the baboon said. The king has returned.
[Timon and Pumbaa stare at her blankly]
Nala : [sighs] You guys want me to go over it again?
Timon : Yes please, but be a dear and skip to the part about Simba. Not that your childhood wasn't fascinating!
Nala : OK. Look, Simba's the rightful king, but after he disappeared, Scar proclaimed himself the king and formed an alliance with the hyenas...
Pumbaa : [Thinks] Poor Simba. The treachery, the villainy, the SURE INDESCRIBABLE HORROR!
Timon : [Thinks] Blah blah blah! WHY IS SHE TOYING WITH US? AAH! THIS CRAZY CHICK IS GONNA EAT US!
Nala : [continues to explain] ... So Simba has to go back to challenge his uncle and reclaim his place as king!
[Silence; Nala doesn't get a reaction from Timon or Pumbaa]
Nala : [frustrated] Ohh... don't you get it? Simba NEEDS us! NOW!
[runs off into the jungle]
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Timon : Let's go Pumbaa. I think the storm's coming to a head.
[in the background the clouds are shaping to form Mufasa's head]
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Timon : Get a load of the monkey getting all Existential on me.
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Timon : Just eat me now and please make it fast, I have a low threshold for pain.
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Timon : Friends stick together to the end.
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Timon : [singing]
[from the movie]
Timon : Luau! If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meet / Eat my buddy, Pumbaa, here 'cause he's a... .
[Timon pauses the movie]
Timon : Let's just cut to the chase, shall we?
Pumbaa : Oh, okay.
[Timon pushes next on the remote and it goes to the part where the hyenas chase Timon and Pumbaa]
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Timon : What this place lacks in water and shade, it makes up for with searing heat and blinding sunshine. Home, sweet home, Pumbaa!
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Timon : It was a wonderful phrase. It has some rhythm. Laduda Ladada. No, that wasn't it.
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Timon : [commenting on his home] Here we are... from Pride Rock, to the Pit of Shame.
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Timon : I see carnivores.
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Timon , Pumbaa : [When they heard Mafasa coming; Screaming] Aa-aaaa-ah!
[Timon & Pumbaa hides as Mafasa runs into action]
Zazu : [coming from behind Masafa] Sire, the hyenas are after the children!
[Timon & Pumbaa peeks in and watches Mafasa attacking the hyenas]
Timon : [whispering] I see carnivores.
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Timon : [is being hugged by his mother] Ma... . choking... . not breathing... .
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Timon : Watch where you aim that morning breath. That should come with a warning label. Ooh. What a wake up call.
Simba : [chuckles] Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the warthog. What's the matter, paps? Had a little too much Hakuna Matata?
Timon : Sonny boy, I invented Hakuna Matata.
Simba : Oh, yeah? Well, I perfected it.
Timon : Sure, you did. Sure, you did.