Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Efren Ramirez: Pedro
Photos
Quotes
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Pedro : Do you think people will vote for me?
Napoleon Dynamite : Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro : Like what are my skills?
Napoleon Dynamite : Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.
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Pedro : Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true.
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Napoleon Dynamite : [referring to the dance] Who are you gonna ask?
Pedro : That girl over there.
Napoleon Dynamite : Summer Wheatly? How the heck are you gonna do that?
Pedro : Build her a cake or something.
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Napoleon Dynamite : Why do you got your hood on like that?
Pedro : Well, when I came home from school my head started to get really hot. So I drank some cold water, but it didn't do nothing. So I laid in the bathtub for a while, but then I realized that it was my hair that was making my head hot. So I went into my kitchen and I shaved it all off. I don't want anyone to see.
Napoleon Dynamite : I know what you mean.
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Napoleon Dynamite : What kind of bike do you have?
Pedro : It's a sledgehammer.
Napoleon Dynamite : Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?
Napoleon Dynamite : [Cut to Pedro jumping] You got like three feet of air that time.
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Pedro : They're pretty good, except for one little problem. That little guy right there. He is nipple number five. A good dairy cow should have, like, four.
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Napoleon Dynamite : Well, nobody's going to go out with *me*!
Pedro : Have you asked anybody yet?
Napoleon Dynamite : No, but who would? I don't even have any good skills.
Pedro : What do you mean?
Napoleon Dynamite : You know, like numchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!
Pedro : Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like animals and warriors and stuff?
Napoleon Dynamite : Yes... Probably the best that I know of.
Pedro : Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... and give it to her for like a gift or something.
Napoleon Dynamite : That's a pretty good idea.
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Napoleon Dynamite : Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.
Pedro : Why?
Napoleon Dynamite : Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.
Pedro : Do you have anything to give to her?
Napoleon Dynamite : No. Not unless she likes fish.
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Pedro : Did you draw her a picture?
Napoleon Dynamite : Heck yes I did!
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Napoleon Dynamite : So, we're pretty much friends by now, right?
Pedro : Yes.
Napoleon Dynamite : So, you got my back and everything, right?
Pedro : What?
Napoleon Dynamite : Never mind.
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Pedro : If I win, you can be my secretary or something.
Napoleon Dynamite : Sweet! Plus I could be your bodyguard, too. Or like, Secret Service Captain, or... whatever...
[trails off]
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Napoleon Dynamite : Pedro, how do you feel about that one?
Pedro : It looks nice.
Napoleon Dynamite : Yeah, it looks pretty sweet. It looks awesome. That suit, it's... it's incredible.
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Pedro : Who was that?
Napoleon Dynamite : Trisha.
Pedro : Who's she?
Napoleon Dynamite : My woman I'm taking to the dance.
Pedro : Did you draw her a picture?
Napoleon Dynamite : Heck yes I did.
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Napoleon Dynamite : My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn't cause she's doing some modeling right now.
Pedro : Is she *hut*?
Napoleon Dynamite : See for yourself.
[hands him Deb's glamour shot sample]
Pedro : Wow.
Napoleon Dynamite : Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamour shots for her birthday one year.
Pedro : I like her bangs.
Napoleon Dynamite : Me too.
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Napoleon Dynamite : [Napoleon sits down with Pedro at lunch] Where have you been?
Pedro : I was *seek*.
Napoleon Dynamite : Has Summer said anything to you yet?
Pedro : No, not yet.
Napoleon Dynamite : Well, she said no.
Pedro : She did?
[Pedro thinks a second]
Pedro : Well, what about that other girl?
Napoleon Dynamite : What other girl?
Pedro : The one that left all that crap on your porch.
Napoleon Dynamite : You mean Deb?
Pedro : Yes her.
Napoleon Dynamite : What about her?
Pedro : Well, I asked her out too.
Napoleon Dynamite : What?
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Pedro : Well, what are you going to wear to the dance?
Napoleon Dynamite : Just like a silk shirt or something. What are you gonna wear?
Pedro : Deb has something for me. But you should probably get a suit.
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Napoleon Dynamite : How long did it take you to grow that moustache?
Pedro : A couple of days.