- The Newsman: Good evening, and welcome to Muppet News International.
- Spike Milligan: Yes, you're welcome to it.
- The Newsman: Simultanious translation, bringing you news and views across the language barrier.
- Spike Milligan: [pantomimes previous statement in "sign language" - the newsreader looks at him] Hello.
- The Newsman: [to Spike] Are you going to tell them what I just said?
- Spike Milligan: [conspiratorial] No, your secret is safe with me.