Scared Shrekless (2010 TV Movie)

Mike Myers: Shrek

Photos 

Quotes 

• Shrek : [Castle Duloc has become run-down; to Donkey]  Look! It's that little thingy you love so much, remember?

  Creepy Clockwork Chorus : [Shrek pulls the lever on the Information Booth, and the same mechanized marionettes pop out singing, this time looking very deranged]  Welcome to Duloc/It's a creepy town/It was once pristine/Now it's all run down. We will chop off your head/And then laugh when you're dead/Duloc is a creepy place.

  Creepy Clockwork Chorus : Come on in with your head,/Come lie down, break your... face/Duloc is... Duloc is... Duloc is a cre-py... place!

  Shrek : [booth takes their picture, captioning it "Get Out"]  Ooh! Let's do that again!

  Donkey : NO!

• Shrek : Well, it looks like it's just you and me.

  Donkey : Go ahead, Shrek. There ain't nothing that can scare me.

  Shrek : Well, then I guess there's nothing left to do but wait for the ghost.

  Donkey : What ghost?

  Shrek : Lord Farquaad's ghost. And as I recall, you had a hand in his untimely demise.

  Donkey : Aw, come on. Everyone knows ghosts are just an urban legend.

  Shrek : Is it?

  [suddenly the chandeliers start swinging] 

  Donkey : Oh, that's just the wind.

  Creepy voice : Donkey!

  Donkey : And apparently it knows my name.

• Donkey : Admit it, Shrek. Weren't you even a little bit scared?

  Princess Fiona : Donkey, ogres don't get scared. We do the scaring.

  Shrek : And that's why we're the kings of Halloween.

  Donkey : I beat we can find something that will scare the pants off you!

  Wolf : Which would scare me.

  Shrek : Oh, really? And what do you have in mind?

  Donkey : All of us telling scary stories all night long. There ain't no way you won't be scared.

  Puss in Boots : Yes! Stories to make your blood run cold!

  Donkey : Yeah!

  Puss in Boots : Stories to terrify you.

  Donkey : Yeah!

  Puss in Boots : And whoever shall last through the night shall be called the king of Halloween.

  Shrek : I accept.

  Donkey : We doubly accept.

• Shrek : I believe you were expecting me.

  Geppetto : Then you must be...

  Shrek : That's right. I am... the babysitter.

• Shrek : Oh, wow. Terrifying. I don't know how I'm gonna sleep now.

  Princess Fiona : Happy Halloween, everyone.

  Donkey : Oh, man.

  Gingerbread Man : [to Donkey]  I thought you said this was gonna scare 'em.

• Shrek : Buckle up, everybody. The quicker I scare the wits out of you, the sooner I can be home, cozy in my bed. Unless anyone else thinks they've got what it takes.

  Pinocchio : Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me! I have a scary story!

  Wolf : This isn't the one about you getting trapped in the petting zoo again, is it? 'Cause that's not scary.

  Pinocchio : Actually, if you look at it with *my* perspective...

  Gingerbread Man : Hey, guess what, Pinocchio, no one cares! Get ready to send these jokers home, Shrek, 'cause I've got a doozy, and it's all true! Ahem. It was a dark and stormy night...

• Pinocchio : Eww! I'm too young to have termites!

  The Cricket : I'm no termite, Pinocchio. I'm a cricket.

  Pinocchio : You were the voice in my head this whole time?

  The Cricket : That's right. I'm was the one putting all those those thoughts in your noggin. I'm your conscience, and as long as I as you let me, I'll always be in...

  [Pinocchio squashes him] 

  Shrek : The end.

  Pinocchio : That wasn't me! I never had any bugs in my head. Ha ha. Ask anyone!

  Shrek : Okay, then. Why don't we ask start by asking your conscience!

  [shows Pinocchio a cricket in his hand] 

• [to Gepetto] 

  Shrek : Do I look like the kind of guy that knows a lullaby?

  Pinocchio : SING!

• Shrek : [to Gepetto]  Do I look like the kind of guy that knows a lullaby?

  Pinocchio : SING!

• Princess Fiona : Hmm. I got 7 eggs.

  Shrek : Perfect.

• Shrek : Oh, wow, terrified.

  Shrek : I love this holiday.

• Shrek : Felicia.