Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (TV Series)
Those Old Scientists (2023)
Jack Quaid: Ensign Brad Boimler
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Quotes
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[Pike and La'An transport back down to Krulmuth-B with Boimler and Mariner in order to use the time portal to send the Ceritos crew back to the 24th century. When they materialize, they see three Orons - including Captain Karas - waiting for them]
Captain Harr Karas : We got your message about he portal.
Captain Christopher Pike : That was a mistake. That message was sent without my authorization. I'm afraid we still need it.
Captain Harr Karas : I do not like having my time wasted, Captain.
Ensign Brad Boimler : That's not his fault. It's mine.
Ensign Beckett Mariner : And mine.
La'an Noonien-Singh : It's true. It's their fault.
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[Spock and Boimler are in the Enterprise's science lab, attempting to synthesize horonium in order to power the time portal to return Boimler and Mariner to the 24th century]
Spock : [loading the synthesizer with the material needed to make horonium] Shall we activate the synthesizer?
Ensign Brad Boimler : Sure, I mean, is-is it gonna, un, blow may hand off?
Spock : [picking up the cover for the synthesizer with Boimler] We are separating fissile isotopes at high speeds. The chance of an explosion is down to a coin flip.
Spock : [sealing the synthesizer] I find myself curious about chance.
[pause]
Spock : Do you fell lucky?
Ensign Brad Boimler : Un, no, not at all. I, um... . Okay. Uh, so...
Ensign Brad Boimler : [synthesizer sparks, and Boimler shrieks] Okay, is that bad? Are sparks bad?
Spock : [calmly walking away from synthesizer] Yes. Seek cover.
Ensign Brad Boimler : [shrieks and whimpers as he finds cover with Spock] . Aah!
Ensign Brad Boimler : [synthesizer explodes. Spock and Boimler stand up and cautiously look at the remains of the synthesizer] I've ruined everything.
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[Pike has his communication with the Orion captain Karas paused. He turns to the bridge crew to get their input on what to do next]
Captain Christopher Pike : Ideas?
[From across the bridge, Boimler excitedly raises his hand]
Captain Christopher Pike : Not you.
Ensign Brad Boimler : Fair.
Ensign Brad Boimler : [turning to Spock at the Science station] Uh, can you please tell Captain Pike that the Orions want to trade? They see it as a sign of respect.
Captain Christopher Pike : You know, I can hear you. I'm standing right here.
Ensign Brad Boimler : Sorry. I thought the span of the room would, uh...
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[Boimler is in the Enterprise's lounge, playing with a retro-PADD]
Lt. Erica Ortegas : [from behind Boimler, with Nurse Chapel] Whatcha got there?
Ensign Brad Boimler : [shrieks] Ah, uh, um, hey. Nothing. Just doing some, uh, warp field mechanics.
Lt. Erica Ortegas : Well, as long as you're not... borrowing it to input any future knowledge.
Ensign Brad Boimler : No, I don't... I don't think I did. Um, lemmee just uh...
Lt. Erica Ortegas : Relax, I'm just bustin' your chops.
[chuckles with Boimler]
Lt. Erica Ortegas : But seriously, you should probably erase whatever you just did.
Ensign Brad Boimler : [nervously] Aye, aye. Yeah.
[sits at a table to erase his work, as Ortegas and Chapel sit on either side of him]
Nurse Christine Chapel : So, how are you feeling? Has the, uh, uncontrollable vomiting come in yet?
Ensign Brad Boimler : Um, what?
Nurse Christine Chapel : Oh, chroniton poisoning. It's really common. You just wanna make sure you're close to a bathroom.
Lt. Erica Ortegas : [snickers]
Ensign Brad Boimler : [realizes he's being teased] Okay, are you guys both messing with me? What's happening?
Lt. Erica Ortegas : Yeah. Hey, what's the future like? Do you have jet packs, or what?
Nurse Christine Chapel : [to Ortegas] We have jet packs now.
Lt. Erica Ortegas : I know, but like smaller jet packs.
Ensign Brad Boimler : Why... don't you both tell me what life is like on the Enterprise? I mean, is just like non-stop excitement? Meeting all these aliens
[indicates two passing Andorian officers]
Ensign Brad Boimler : who are still, actually, y'know... alien.
Lt. Erica Ortegas : Guess you're pretty used to seeing aliens in the future?
Ensign Brad Boimler : Well yeah, but... this, right now, this... this is the Golden Age of Exploration. And you guys actually get to actually live it. I mean... I'm jealous.
[pause]
Nurse Christine Chapel : [to Ortegas] So, where's Nyota?
Lt. Erica Ortegas : Where do you think? Working.
Nurse Christine Chapel : Yeah... tracks.
Lt. Erica Ortegas : I couldn't even get her to come to movie night.
[to Boimler]
Lt. Erica Ortegas : Oh, if you're around on Friday, you should come.
Nurse Christine Chapel : Yeah!
Ensign Brad Boimler : Uh, Is that something you're doing for Captain Pike's birthday?
Nurse Christine Chapel : It's his birthday on Friday?
Lt. Erica Ortegas : How do you know his birthday?
Ensign Brad Boimler : Well, I mean, in the future, his birthday's a holiday.
[gasps]
Ensign Brad Boimler : Crap! Crap, crap. Please, please, do not tell La'an I said anything!
Nurse Christine Chapel : How's throwing the captain a party going to ruin the future?
Ensign Brad Boimler : Well, it could in several ways, um...
Lt. Erica Ortegas : Should we... throw Pike a party? I like it; good idea. I will give you all the credit for it.
Ensign Brad Boimler : Please don't. Don't put my name on anything.
Lt. Erica Ortegas : So much credit.
Nurse Christine Chapel : [seeing Spock] I have to go. Watch out for those chronitons.
Ensign Brad Boimler : [nervously] Okay, yeah.
Ensign Brad Boimler : [sees Spock smiling] *whimper*
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Ensign Brad Boimler : Is that a classic TS122 tricorder?
Dr. M'Benga : It's a 120.
Ensign Brad Boimler : Do you mind if- Can I- Can I hold it?
[Dr. M'Benga hands him the tricorder]
Ensign Brad Boimler : Thank you so much! Oh, my God! They *never* improved on these. I mean, yeah they got smaller and more powerful and arguably less likely to explode. But, design-wise...
Dr. M'Benga : 'Explode' you said?
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Ensign Brad Boimler : There has to be something else we can do.
Pelia : Yes. Find a time travel device and use it to stop yourself from messing everything up.
Ensign Brad Boimler : [sarcastically] Thank you. That's helpful.
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Ensign Brad Boimler : You guys look... very realistic.