Moana (I) (2016)
Dwayne Johnson: Maui
Photos
Quotes
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Maui : [to Moana] If you start singing, I'm gonna throw up.
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Maui : [Using Heihei's beak to sign Moana's oar] When you use a bird to write with, it's called tweeting.
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Maui : The chicken lives!
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Moana : [Notices a tattoo of a character with flowing hair throwing a baby into the ocean on Maui's back] How do you get your tattoos?
Maui : They show up, when I earn 'em.
Moana : How d'you earn that one? What's that for?
Maui : That, uh, man's discovery of nun-ya.
Moana : What's nun-ya?
Maui : Nun-ya business.
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Moana : [on Maui's damaged fish hook] We can fix it.
Maui : It was made by the gods. You can't fix it!
Moana : Next time, we'll be more careful. Te Ka was stuck on the barrier islands. It's lava. It can't go in the water. We can find another way around.
Maui : I'm not going back.
Moana : What? We still have to restore the heart.
Maui : My hook is cracked. One more hit and it's over.
Moana : Maui, you have to restore the heart!
Maui : Without my hook, I am nothing.
Moana : That's not true...
Maui : [shouting] WITHOUT MY HOOK, I AM *NOTHING*!
[Moana draws back in shock. Maui drops the heart into Moana's boat, and Moana picks it back up]
Moana : We're only here 'cause you stole the heart in the first place.
Maui : No. We're here because the ocean told you you were special and you believed it.
Moana : [gathering resolve] I am Moana of Motonui. You will board my boat...
Maui : Goodbye, Moana.
Moana : ...sail across the sea...
Maui : I'm not killing myself so you can prove something you're not.
Moana : ...and restore the heart of Te Fiti. The ocean chose me!
Maui : [bitterly] It chose wrong.
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Maui : [Teaching Moana to navigate] You're measuring the stars, not giving the sky a high five.
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Maui : [talking about his past] I wasn't born a demi-god. I had human parents. They took one look and they decided... that they did not want me. So, they threw me into the ocean like I was nothing. Somehow, I was rescued by the Gods. They gave me the fish hook. They made me...
[exaltant]
Maui : ..."Maui".
[talking normally]
Maui : So... Back to the humans I went. I gave them everything. Islands, fire and coconuts. Heh, everything they can never get enough of.
Moana : You stole the heart... for them. Because you wanted to be loved...
Maui : [solemnly] It was *never* enough.
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Maui : Really? Blow dart in my butt cheek?
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[Maui has just double-crossed Moana by trapping her in a cave and stealing her boat and taking an eternally clueless Heihei with him]
Maui : [to Heihei] And I'm going to love you in ma belly. Now, let's fatten you up, drumstick.
[Maui puts some corn and seeds in front of Heihei]
Maui : [Heihei pauses, and then pecks at a section of the raft floor that doesn't have any seeds or corn. Maui looks on in amazement and shock over Heihei's incredible stupidity]
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Maui : All right. I'm out.
[dives off of Boat]
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[Maui is walking past HeiHei, but then doubles back and grabs him by the neck]
Maui : [breaking the fourth wall; in high-pitched voice] Boat snack!
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[repeated line]
Maui : Cheeeehoooo!
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Maui : Stay out of it or you're sleeping in my armpit.
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Maui : Hey! What has two thumbs and pulled up the sky, when you were waddling ye high? This guy! When the nights got cold, who stole you fire from down below? You're looking at him, yo! Oh! Also I lassoed the sun. You're welcome. To stretch your days and bring you fun. Also I harnessed the breeze. You're welcome! To fill your sails and shake your trees!
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Maui : Well, come to think of it. Kid, honestly, I could go on and on. I could explain every natural phenomenon. The tide, the grass, the ground? Oh, that was Maui just messing around! I killed an eel, I buried its guts. Sprouted a tree, now you got coconuts! What's the lesson, what is the takeaway? Don't mess with Maui when he's on the breakaway! And the tapestry here on my skin, is a map of the victories I win. Look where I've been, I make everything happen! Look at that mini-me Maui ta-tickety-tappin! Hahahahahaha hey!
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Maui : The ocean's straight up pooky dooks!
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Maui : The ocean doesn't help you. You help yourself!
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[from trailer]
Maui : What's a demigod gotta do?
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Maui : [from trailer] Do you who Maui is? The greatest demigod that ever lived, who stopped the sun, who pulled up islands out of the sea, and battled monsters. Do you know why I know all this? That's because *I* am Maui!
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Maui : Well, anyway, let me say you're welcome for the wonderful world you know! Hey, it's okay, it's okay, you're welcome! Well come to think of it I gotta go! Hey, it's your day to say you're welcome, cause I'm gonna need that boat. I'm sailing away, away, you're welcome. Cause Maui can do anything but float! You're welcome! You're welcome! And thank you!
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Maui : So what can I say except you're welcome! For the islands I pulled from the sea! There's no need to pray, it's okay, you're welcome! I guess it's just my way of being me! You're welcome! You're welcome!
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Maui : Okay, okay. I see what's happening here. You're face to face with greatness, and it's strange. You don't even know how to feel. It adorable! Well, it's nice to see that humans never change. Open your eyes, let's begin. Yes, it's really me, it's Maui, breathe it in. I know it's a lot, the hair, the bod, when staring at a demigod!
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Maui : What can I say except you're welcome! For the tides, the sun, the skies. Hey, it's okay, it's okay, you're welcome! I'm just an ordinary demi-guy!
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Maui : Hey, it's okay - it's okay. We're dead soon.
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Maui : [Moana has just taken off to fight off the kakamora and retrieve the heart, taking the oar with her] Hey! What am I gonna steer with?
[gets frustrated]
Maui : They're just gonna kill ya!
[Moana lands on the Kakamora boat. A large group of kakamora turn and look at her]
Moana : [smiles bravely] *Coconuts.*
[Moana kicks the kakamoras' butt with the oar]
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Maui : I'm nothing without my hook!
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Moana : We're alive! We're ali-- ahh!
Maui : Listen. I appreciate what you did down there.
Moana : Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Mmhmm.
Maui : Took guts. But... I'm sorry. I'm tryin' to be sincere for once, and it feels like you're distracted.
Moana : No! No, no way.
Maui : Really. 'Cause you're looking at me like I have a...
[sighs]
Maui : shark head.
Moana : Whaaaaat? Do you have a shark head, cause I...
Maui : Look. The point is... For a little girl... child... thing... whatever... who had no business being down there... You did me a solid. But you also almost died. And I couldn't even beat the dumb crab. So chances of beating Te Ka: bupkis. We're never making it to Te Fiti. This mission is cursed.
Moana : It's not cursed.
Maui : Shark head.
Moana : It's not... cursed.