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marcmahan
Reviews
Planet of the Apes (2001)
This movie was horrible and here's why.
I do not read about movies before they come out nor do I watch the previews. (I remain in the lobby until the film begins.) I walk into the theatre with a clean slate. I sit down wanting to be entertained and for about two hours my imagination should flow. With Planet of the Apes this is what I saw. 1) A beginning credit sequence? On a summer movie? 'Take it easy,' I said, 'you're just anxious for it to begin'. 2)After the credit sequence concludes we see a space station. A title appears stating that it's 2029, a mere 28 years from now. I squirm, the future date should have been left to my imagination 2)On the space station we see Mark Wahlberg interacting with his comrades. Nameless, numberless comrades. It dawns on me that Wahlberg maybe the only major lead. 'Oh no, he's good but he's not that good.' 3)After a monkey is shot out into the unknown in a space probe, Wahlberg, who was against this idea, straps himself in a pod of his own and states, "Don't send a monkey to do a man's job." My heart sinks. 4)Wahlberg crashes into a very fake looking sound stage jungle set. I'm instantly taken out of the movie. 5)But then I perk up when the apes appear. They jump through the air and leap through the trees with wreckless abandon just like I hope monkeys do. I like this. 6)Upon his capture Wahlberg grabs onto an apes legs. The ape responds with a knowing wink, "Get your stinking hands off me, you damn dirty human!" I'm out of the movie again. 7)The apes and their captives arrive to another claustrophobic sound stage which they warmly know as their city. 8)Darn near every shot is a close up further inducing my claustrophobia. My best defense is to fall asleep. 9)I wake up sometime later. It turns out that the apes are afraid of water so to get away from them Wahlberg suggest to his merry crew to cross the river. Ari, the friendly she-ape is afraid. Wahlberg says, 'Don't be afraid you silly nit, we'll be on horses and horses are good swimmers.' She submits and they proceed to cross the five feet deep river. Question: When the apes see the horses safely swimming to the other side why don't they follow? 10)We discover along with the main characters that Wahlberg's space station passed through the same time warp he did but crash landed 3,000 years before and that, presumedly, the smart little monkeys aboard went crazy and killed all the humans. And then I take it they evolved into the warlike big apes we now see. In only 3,000 years of evolution??? 11)As for the trick ending that everyone has now heard about. Can someone please tell me because I fell asleep again. I'd like to state for the record that I loved Starship Troopers.
Psycho Beach Party (2000)
Movies like this give me hope as a film director.
I have a quirky taste in movies so I naturally turned up to see this movie, sounded right up my alley. Sadly, the movie was quite a bore. I would've walked out on it but I was too busy nodding off. The first tell-tale sign that this movie was in trouble was when I saw that it was based on a staged play. I'm sure watching the play when you're ten feet from the actors the story springs with life but up on the screen it plays, well, flat. Scene after scene a whole bunch of nothing kept happening. How did this movie get green lit? More importantly, once it was made, why wasn't it shelved so no one could see it? That sort of thing happens all the time. But then I realized that it was shown to give the young directors of the world hope that if this movie can get made and released, anything can. 1 out of 10.
George Lucas in Love (1999)
Great pedestrian filmmaking.
For months I've been hearing about this little movie and now I've seen it. I find it cute, cute how so many fledgling directors make movies where they combine other people's creative ideas in order to make their own one-joke premise of a movie. Troops, Swingblade, any of the million Blair Witch parodies come to mind. If all that these directors want is a foot inside Hollywood's door then they're doing the right thing and they should keep it up because combining plot outlines is how Hollywood makes films. How many times have you heard the phrase, "It's Animal House meets Back to the Future"; "It's Wall Street meets Dead Poet's Society"; or "Shakespeare in Love meets Star Wars"? I remember when independent films meant original and daring not safe and predictable.
Jesus' Son (1999)
A personal thank you to everyone involved with this film.
This year I've seen many Hollywood films that I instantly forget upon leaving the theatre and lately I can't even seem to find solace with independent films anymore. They're playing to what's hip at the moment rather than speaking about the things which remain timeless and universal. What a pleasure it was to see Jesus' Son. Every moment in this film reminded me of why I love films in the first place. Interesting characters dealing with interesting situations that we haven't seen quite that way before. Bravo to everyone involved with this film, in making it you've let sunshine back into my heart and I hope to others.
The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)
The comic and fantastic overflow in this joyous romp
This movie is the exception to the rule when they say, "They don't make 'em like they used to." Because the Coen Brothers and Sam Raimi sure did top them all with this one. Tim Robbins, along with the rest of the cast, is pitch perfect. From the first second of the movie to the last, my eyes are glazed over with utter fascination. Composer Carter Burwell is the next John Williams in my book. His score accents brilliantly every emotion witnessed. This movie is funny, romantic, perverse, and whimsical. It says a lot that after years of not making movies, Paul Newman chose to make this one.
Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (1974)
This film works on every emotional level.
I have seen 'Thunderbolt and Lightfoot' many times and every time it ends I'm all choked up. This is the first film by Michael Cimino, director of 'The Deer Hunter', and he clearly shines. All his early movies are first seen as drama's, then as adventures, but what many fail to point out is the genuine humor and goodwill spread throughout. Even the wonderful 'Heaven's Gate is laced with it. But after that movie was critically banned, Cimino lost the humor which, sadly, has yet to regain. But 'Thunderbolt And Lightfoot' has seriously wacky scenes that happily come out of nowhere. Great story enhanced by wonderful actors such as Jeff Bridges who asks for "American" fries. There's so many amazing moments, just see it!
Lady in White (1988)
Truly heartfelt with a touch of twisted sickness.
After watching this gloriously directed film, my heart broke because Frank Laloggia the director apparently didn't get the recognition he deserved. Why wasn't this movie the first of twenty others. I hate hollywood for not opening their arms to him.