7/10
Texas ACROSS THE RIVER (Michael Gordon, 1966) ***
11 December 2008
I had missed out on this when it was shown as a weekday matinée' on Italian TV ages ago; while not particularly outstanding, it's a thoroughly engaging (and attractively shot, mostly in exteriors) Western spoof with an amiable and willing cast led by Dean Martin (typically relaxed playing a Texan cattleman), Alain Delon (handsome and charming as a Spanish aristocrat), Rosemary Forsyth (her Southern belle is delightful), Tina Marquand (a cute Indian squaw) and Joey Bishop (in the role of Martin's wisecracking "Kronk" sidekick).

Though the latter is nominally entrusted with carrying the film's comic relief, the other redskins ("Comanche") actually provide the funniest moments – especially the antics of the chief's inept son (trying at one point to shoot a flaming arrow, he contrives to set his Dad's feathered cap on fire!). Also notable is a scene in which a medicine man alienated in tracking heroes' moves from afar bumps his head against a tree branch, not to mention the amusing charging command of the cavalry unit after Delon – who's accused of murder – which is so muddled that not even all the soldiers themselves are able to comprehend it!

The film leads to a pretty good climax – actually redolent of RED RIVER (1948) – as Martin and Delon about to engage one another in duel can't even agree on whether to do it the official way (stand back to back, walk ten paces in opposite directions, then turn and shoot) or Western-style (face each other at opposite ends of the street, walk closer and then draw). However, the girls (Delon had been engaged to marry Forsyth but, in the meantime, she's caught Martin's attention – which he tries to turn to his advantage by keeping his fever going, after being shot with an arrow, for three days straight – while the Spaniard has Marquand, whom he has saved from certain death, gushing over him) have it out between themselves, though it's actually a ruse to put a stop to the intended showdown between their respective men. Delon is subsequently tried and convicted (with judge and defense counsel being the victim's brothers!), but Forsyth contrives to demonstrate how it was all an accident; to cap everything, oil is struck soon after while a grave is being dug for the aristocratic Spaniard!

Curiously enough, just as SKIN GAME (1971) – the comic Western I preceded this with – the film features an incongruous but agreeable lounge score (by DeVol). In conclusion, another Dean Martin Western I own but have yet to watch also hinges on a dynamite star combo i.e. FIVE CARD STUD (1968) with Robert Mitchum – as does, for that matter, ROUGH NIGHT IN JERICHO (1967; with George Peppard) which I might also be able to get my hands on in the not-so-distant future (for the record, I'm not familiar with this one either).
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