Dreadful, awful, terrible, and horrible - one simply runs out of adjectives when describing this cheap, excretable, incredibly bad 70's horror flick. Shot in the Frank Henenlotter("Basket Case")school of nasty, sleazy, ugly horror-wanna-be flicks, believe the MooCow when he says yer gonna need at least 37 showers after viewing this one - "The Headless Eyes" doesn't just stink, it REEKS! Yep, you can really smell the back-ally urine stains coming off this one. It opens like some kind of pathetic snuff film, where this moron starving artist(Bo Brundin)steals a couple of coins from the empty purse of some ditz. She screams, they struggle, and she puts his eye out with a spoon - or so they would us believe. A Laughably cheap and pathetic plastic eye is glued to his closed eyelid, in the dimmest possible hope of suggesting gore and violence. Mooore fake blood and plastic eyes are to follow, as the film(and that's being charitable, folks...)descends quickly into a weary, dreary catalogue of incredibly stupid victims getting "murdered", while Brundin cackles hopelessly & fondles moore plastic eyes in red paint. You think Shatner over-acts?? You ain't seen nuthin' yet, friends! Brundin is so incredibly over-the-top and stupid that his performance goes beyond comprehension. So, what did "Director" Kent Bateman tell him, "go out there and act like the stupidest possible moron you can"??? Mission accomplished!! And let's face it, this film had no director, or editor, or crew. I think random bits of mouldering film stock were left in a closet, like some old, slimey, bacterial cheese spread, and then mootated into this laughable disaster. By the way, Kent Bateman is the father of Justine Bateman, prooving once and for all that the "no possible talent whatsoever" gene can be passed from generation to generation. One of this film's producers(yeah, right...) is Henri Pachard(here as Ronald Sullivan), known moore for his sweet, sentimental porno flicks(like "Jane Bond Meets Thunderthighs", and "Obey Me B**ch, I-IV"). Yes, folks, this is "Manos" for the 70's, they don't come mooch worse than this(except "Guru The Mad Monk"!!). The MooCow says if you reaaalllly wanna erase someone's brain beyond the hope of any cure, this is the flick to do it. Good luck! :=8/
Review of The Headless Eyes
