Deadly Eyes (1982)
1/10
Hilarious 80's horror garbage.
9 September 2001
This has got to be one of the stupidest films since C.H.U.D. that I have ever seen.

In Australia, this film is simply titled "RATS". The box cover is green and there's this hilarious animated picture of a rat with red eyes and sharp teeth gnawing on a severed hand dripping with blood. I thought to myself, "This ought to be good."

When I watched the film, there seemed to be no plot at all. The acting was the funniest thing about the film - there really wasn't any to be seen! For any of you out there who are afraid of rats, don't let the title of this film deter you - the rats themselves are about as tame as the cute koala bears at your local zoo. Picture little dogs dressed up in rat suits running around (never mind that you can see the zippers) and that's about as harmful as this film gets.

I'm not sure what it is about rat films like this that all carry the same cliche's. We have the foolish woman who investigates 'strange noises' in her basement after her baby goes missing, only to be attacked by a mutant rat that jumps out of the dark. We have a man walking his dog in the dark - his dog hears strange noises, breaks free from its leash and runs off into the darkness, only to be stopped short by a piercing yelp and having the owner meeting his own demise after investigating the cause. But this carries one of the most hilarious scenes in cinematic history - seeing Scatman Crothers' body getting dragged down a set of stairs by mutant rats! It actually looks like three dogs pulling a mannequin with lamb chops tied to strings down a set of stairs, but you have to use your imagination here.

Overall, I thought this was also one of the worst films that I have ever seen. This should have been placed under the 'Family' section at video store - there was certainly nothing 'horrific' about this film, other than the fact that it was made on a shoestring budget and featured dogs in rat suits and people that couldn't act.

Save this one for when you're drunk and you need something funny to laugh at.

My Grade: Z!
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