Review of Nightmare Beach

Director Umberto Lenzi used the name "Harry Kirkpatrick" when he made this. Don't know why. Maybe because it didn't spill the usual gallons of blood as is usually seen in Lenzi's gorefests. In fact, at first I thought that this was a crime drama rather than a slasher flick, because there was so little "slashing" going on. Then I realized that it actually WAS supposed to be a slasher flick--it's just such an incompetent one it was difficult to tell. Anyway, as mentioned by a previous poster, there are a few electrocutions (badly done) that pretty much serve as the film's body count. Other than that, the acting isn't good enough to pass muster in a junior high school class play, the script is laughable and has holes big enough to drive the 3rd Armored Division through, the identity of the killer is painfully obvious long before the final unmasking and the film fails miserably at whatever it is it's supposed to be--it's too mild to be a slasher flick, it's not coherent enough to be a crime drama, it's far too obvious to be called a thriller and, despite its alternate title of "Welcome to Spring Break," there's not enough T&A in it to qualify as a decent T&A flick. John Saxon, Michael Parks and Lance LeGault, usually reliable actors, must have needed to pay the rent to have appeared in this thing, but they're professional enough to give it their best shot; unfortunately, the odds are stacked against them and the whole picture looks like a really bad student film. A flop on all levels. Avoid it.