I'm prompted to write this review because my cable company is promoting this... feature film... as a PAY PER VIEW. I kid you not.
Let me open by saying that it's not the worst film I've even seen. That honour goes to US Seals. It's not even the worst horror; there's a dubbed Swedish monstrosity involving terrified cats being thrown at bored actors that just (JUST) edges out Crawlers.
Let's count our blessings though. The production company that "funded" this movie is an Italian outfit that thankfully hasn't managed to branch out beyond the likes of "Troll 2" and "Quest For The Mighty Sword (aka Ator III: The Hobgoblin)". And both of the writers had never written anything before - and haven't written anything since. Let's be thankful for that.
Let me open by saying that it's not the worst film I've even seen. That honour goes to US Seals. It's not even the worst horror; there's a dubbed Swedish monstrosity involving terrified cats being thrown at bored actors that just (JUST) edges out Crawlers.
Let's count our blessings though. The production company that "funded" this movie is an Italian outfit that thankfully hasn't managed to branch out beyond the likes of "Troll 2" and "Quest For The Mighty Sword (aka Ator III: The Hobgoblin)". And both of the writers had never written anything before - and haven't written anything since. Let's be thankful for that.