The Rosie O'Donnell Show (1996–2002)
If you like Rosie, don't read this...
4 December 2000
This is probably the most insipid thing that's ever been on TV. I don't know who they are supposed to be appealing to. They stick America's favorite Doyenne of Dumpiness out there to push gooey smarm on the unfortunate viewer for half an hour (except when Rosie goes after something she DOESN'T like, like Tom Selleck, and out comes the bile). I think someone has to be seriously masochistic to actually watch this. I personally can't even stand Rosie doing that wobbly-lookin' chicken dance in commercials on NBC anymore.

Seriously, I seriously think that this show's survival is either some trick of the devil or just because she's some sort of sacred cow to NBC's programmers. I really wonder who this show is supposed to appeal to. Someone staying at home during the afternoon, which eliminates most people with jobs. Poor people? I doubt they would get or be interested in Rosie's rosy and banal world. Independently wealthy people? Usually people that have already made their mark have better things to do than watch TV in the afternoon. Housewives? I guess this has to be it but I've really wondered how they can identify with her not-so-well-disguised... different lifestyle from them. You know what I mean. ;)

Even Rosie's "good person" act is getting tired and definitely wearing thin. A double-edged sword that, as her worldview is apparently rather viciously absolutist and probably quite a few degrees from the mainstream. She's all nice and warm and sugary and likes things that are nice and warm and sugary but anything apart from that, like guns, Fight Club, or whatever and she hits the roof. She's sort of like an evil Miss Manners, or better yet, a socialist counterpart to Dr. Laura (sans the protesters, of course).

I consider this show a one-woman equivalent of Regis and Kathy Lee, but even less scintillating or relevant. One can spend one's life more productively watching the Weather Channel or the Farm Report in the afternoon than this garbage. Even if you like this show, there's better things to do at 3 in the afternoon. Go out, do something big. Direct a movie, write a book, publish a website, start the Save the Children from Big Meanie Republicans Foundation, whatever, and maybe you could actually be a guest on the show.

As for Rosie, well, I'm just waiting 20 years or so for the E! True Hollywood Story about her. I'm really curious as to what that's going to say about her in hindsight.
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