Atomic Train (1999)
4/10
Welcome to the valley of the cliche
27 July 2001
The piece starts interestingly enough, as a train carrying hazardous materials and a contraband nuclear warhead rattles its way across the mountains towards Denver with a serious case of brake-failure. The film never quite manages to be the action-adventure flick that the its creators probably intended (my fellow Dayton-ian Rob Lowe as Action Man?), but it does rather start to work as a comedy - a comedy of errors. Just when you think you've reached the end of your bad luck day, yet another incredible coincidence comes up that plunges the characters into harm's way.

I won't give away any of the various plot twists, but my wife and I started to laugh every time an ignorant walk-on character delivered a line like: "I've got to do something right now, because lives are at risk". This is, perhaps, one thing that distinguishes this film from other American-made catastrophe flicks: it does not glorify the plucky non-professional and well-meaning individualist who rebells from authority but then manages to save the day anyway. (Sorry, Bruce Willis.) These sorts of "rugged individuals" (i.e., stupid but well-meaning folk) keep recurring - mostly as cannon fodder for the ever-increasing body count.

Perhaps the moral of the movie could be summarised as, "this is what happens when you don't listen to the people in charge", or even, "no good deed goes unpunished". Unfortunately, the President of the US himself (played by reliable character actor Edward Herrmann) is given the unsavoury task of delivering the trite and didactic concluding thoughts near the end of the piece.

Come on, Rob, you are better than this train wreck waiting to happen.
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