Review of Three to Tango

1/10
What were they thinking?
13 October 1999
"Three to Tango" has some great slapstick and some amusing performances but two huge problems stop the film in its tracks.

Not knowing Matthew Perry from anything other than his "I Love Lucy"-in-reverse comedy "Fools Rush In," which was cute and easy on the brain, I had no expectations of any kind when I attended a sneak preview. I knew that "Three to Tango" had something to do with fake gay-ness and that it had been compared to "In and Out," a film which I thought was only okay.

So I laughed while Perry fell over things and at the other well-timed slapstick comedy, but I kept trying to grapple with a lack of believability. Suspension of disbelief is so rarely demanded in romantic comedies, but here I was expected to swallow that a young, beautiful, strong, intelligent modern artist character (Neve Campbell) would accept being the MISTRESS of a snake-like rich guy! Excuse me, what were they thinking? It would have been one thing if the character or ANYBODY else in the film brought this mistress life-choice up or asked her why, but it passes unmentioned and accepted as a given to the story.

Worse, the big "coming out" speech that is the climax of the film - in which Perry announces that he must be honest, come out of the closet, and tell his secret...He's not gay! Surprise! - is delivered to an audience of gay professionals who have awarded this fraud with Gay Professional of the Year. Guess what all you people who have been fighting for acceptance and legal rights all your lives, this guy's really a breeder, a het, and he has stolen this honor from you! What does this audience of thousands of gay people do? Those softies, those limp-wristers, those pansies - they applaud! They give him an ovation! Yeah, right. In the real world, this would not have been so pretty. And of course, after the one token gay guy jumps up to applaud, the camera only shows us the other heteros in the audience who are so relieved (or disturbed) by this news.

As a gay woman, I can usually step out of myself enough to enjoy any kind of well-made film, including romantic comedies about straight people. But this film just annoyed the hell out of me - because it was clear no one really put any thought into it.
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