1/10
Ho-Ho-Horrible!
25 December 2002
Warning: Spoilers
Quite frankly, I am in shock. The worst theatrical movie I have ever watched is currently "Cruel Intentions," but today I watched "I'll Be Home for Christmas," expecting a funny holiday movie, but instead I got cinematic trash that gave "Cruel Intentions" a run for the money as worst theatrically released movie ever. Every scene, every joke, every situation, and every main character is loathesome. The entire movie is one big insult to the intelligence. Surely someone involved with this project should have realized what a tragic mess they were making and said something to put a stop to it. But alas it was not to be.

*Minor spoilers herein* Instead we are treated with an insufferable comedy centered on a totally obnoxious and arrogant rich kid. I wasn't sympathetic to him at all and I didn't buy his transformation for a moment. Nor did I find any of his snafus funny. Every single mishap was an unfunny bomb. I mean, are we supposed to laugh when Thomas consistently lied or stole to get his way? What's so awful about it (aside form the moral standpoint) is that everyone bought his lies. Only an idiot would believe what he said. What about when he gave away stolen appliances to children in a hospital? Worst moment of all (which had me screaming at the television for the madness to stop) involved the bus-liver gag. Thomas uses a sandwich, crayons, and a cooler to make it look like a liver needed to be delivered in a nearby town. But they didn't even bother to show how Thomas obtained these items from the people in the neighboring seats, or why the guy with the cooler didn't realize the liver was in HIS cooler!

Anyway, this is hands down the worst Christmas movie I have ever watched. I would love to pick this dog apart, but I seem to get hate mail whenever I trash a so-called family movie, so I'll just leave you with the short warning to avoid this mess at all costs. My Christmas present to you. Humbug! Zantara's score: 1 out of 10.
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