Review of The Order

The Order (2001)
3/10
Typically lame Van Damme flick
30 September 2002
Ho-hum. Fortunately, I knew ahead of time that it was a Van Damme movie, otherwise it would have gotten a 1 instead of a 3. As such, I wasn't expecting much. I can't believe how poor an actor Van Damme is, some of his lines are atrociously wooden. But then again, IT IS a Van Damme movie and you don't go and see them for their acting or their plots.

This one has some good fight scenes, but JCVD never really had an opponent who was in the same league. He simply beats the heck out of everyone. The action takes place in Israel, in the old city of Jerusalem. Nasty cultists are planning to blow up Temple Mount on the day of the start of Ramadan, the Muslem holy fasting month. That will provoke World War Three, the Christians vs. the Muslims. Of course, only JCVD can stop them. Guess what happens in the end? No way, how did you guess???

This movie is filled with action movie cliches. When the bad guys are shooting at him when he is talking on the phone, his father on the other end says, "What was that?" and JCVD actually says, "I farted". There is a scene where JCVD is driving an old 2 horsepower deux chevaux Citroen chasing bad guys in a new Mercedes, and of course the old warhorse has no problems keeping up with the 300 horsepower behemoth. Israel seems to employ a great many police officers who are completely inept at hand to hand combat (yeah, right) and who also never draw their guns. Instead, they must think it is a brilliant strategy to outnumber the "good guy" 20 to 1 but attack his with fists only, one at a time. After all, we all know the Israelis have never had any experience at apprehending subversives. Finally, the Israeli armed forces are so desperate for female officers that they have to employ the one and only woman both as a customs officer, and as a city cop. She of course, against orders, falls for JCVD and helps free him from the Israeli police, thereby forever ending her law enforcement career (it's so sad, sob....).

It's too bad JCVD can never come up with any new ideas. There is the requisite car chase, the evil plot, the beautiful good cop forced to work for the bad captain, the father in trouble, and as usual the only one who can save the world is JCVD. Sigh.

At least the fight scenes were pretty good.
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