Review of Chelsea Walls

This was without a doubt one of the worst films at SXSW this year. How could they have possibly screwed it up? I was looking forward to seeing this movie, it has tons of great actors and actresses in it. Well they managed to mess it up. Or maybe not, this kind of film seems like it was probably messed up from the beginning. Now I am not a close-minded moviegoer, nor am I a moviegoer who enjoys only big films like Lord of the Rings and writes the smaller films off as boring because I have a minute attention span; In fact this is almost exclusivly not so. However, this film was boring. It was almost like a parody of an art house film. The first hour I kept myself entertained by musing over how absurd the dialog was but after that I just wanted to leave. Oh but I stayed. And let me say the cinematography is very good, the music is excellent, and the acting as well, although everyone cast in the film is wasted on the most god awful script I have ever heard. The dialog is extremely pretentious and psuedo-intellectual, many will enjoy pretending to grasp some deeper meaning so they can look cool, but that is like trying to put on shoes that are 10 sizes to small. Gifted Actors like D'nofrio are only given a few lines of dialog with no meaning, emotion, and (as one can observe on the film) no direction. Did Ethan Hawke really direct this film? Did anyone direct it? It plays like a film with no director. No direction...literally. Before you say:

"No you have it all wrong, you didn't understand the film. It was about the struggle of the creative mind or <insert some other B.S. here>"

let me just say the film wanted to be about alot of things, but it failed. Somewhere in between the lovers reading high-school english class poems and some little kid talking about how when he grows up he wants to be Mr. Invisible or something when he grows up, the movie loses any meaning. ALL MEANING IS LOST! DONT GO AND SEE THIS MOVIE.

What really gets me is the film was originally about 4 hours. Four hours!