Ghost Ship (2002)
B grade horror flick for kids
18 September 2004
Warning: Spoilers
***SPOILERS***

An Italian cruise liner is found adrift near the Bering Strait after it's crew and passengers are killed off. A group of salvagers is hired to recover the ship who promptly discover that it is haunted and predictably they are killed off one by one, until only the woman remains.

The only scary and horrible scene of this film was when the original killers march the crying and screaming little girl to her room (as if they knew which cabin was hers) to murder her, which they accomplish by hanging her in her closet. This is the only sad part of the film for me. The rest is pretty much nonsense really and you don't care who will die next or how they will die as it is all irrelevant.

The premise for the film is that this group called The Management (Satan and Co or whatever or maybe Horus) is laying a trap to exploit peoples' greed and allow people to murder each other in an effort to collect souls for hell or wherever The Management may be... I mean come on, would a ship be the best place for that, how about all these wars all over the world wouldn't that be a better source for souls? The little girl ghost on the ship is however able to show the lead female protagonist what happened because she has a 'pure' soul and cannot be controlled by the devil (presumably) who is running the ship and enticing others to board it - as he did with the crew of this ship. I never trusted the guy who hired the salvagers from the first moment but expected him to be a mere criminal instead he turns out to be the instigator of the original massacre on the ship - and we are lead on to believe that 40 years previously he was picked up from another ship which presumably met the same fate. If hell is gathering souls on ocean liners than that means we must all be pretty good people across the board, pardon the pun. The plot is very illogical, notwithstanding the fake death sequences of the passengers during the film's opening - if you are sliced in half and your AORTA and SPINAL CORD are severed you will not look on stunned at everyone around you for a few seconds before falling over, neither will you use your arms to try to reattach yourself lower torso to your upper body while you are supine on the ground and your intestines are spilling out. Sorry but someone should have done some research. The real lack of logic in the plot comes from the fact that the devil or whoever the supernatural Management guy really is hires a crew to refloat the vessel because it has undergone a leak and instead of allowing them to refloat her he allows the ghosts and ghouls on the ship to murder them off one by one. He brags that he has control over the ghosts on the ship which actually reveal his identity to the captain - there are both good and bad ghosts on the ship - the Captain and the little girl are good while the sexy chick in the red dress is obviously bad, we see her in the MTV murder video as siding with the group of killers who use WW2 German submachine guns and rat poison to kill off the crew and passengers (rat poison by the way will make you bleed and not vomit up soap bubbles, it also takes many hours for that effect to start as people on the drug Warfarin probably know).

Others have already mentioned the relative warmth of the ship and the sea despite the high latitude.

Overall this is a film full of plot holes, with unreal death scenes and lots of nonsense added on. This film is not Aliens and it's not Titanic either. I cannot say what it is but can only advise you to avoid this movie and watch a real horror film instead like the Ring, if you're in the mood for that sort of thing.
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