The things which were right included the wonderful performance by John Rhys-Davies, the inclusion of the jester-dressed martial arts dragon slayer, wonderful vistas and views, wonderful (if not excellent) "alien" dragons, and great dialog.
The problems with it included the horrible delivery of said great dialog; the casting was extremely uneven which made for low charisma between the
characters and the timing of the whole production was a bit off. The armor and costuming were too new and stole from the finished product the opportunity to lend some air of authenticity to the era. The crown worn by Wednesbury was
obviously modern designed, manufactured and the jewels were of obvious
plastic and appeared to have been molded onto the "paper/foil" crown. It was sickening. The structures and sets suffered the same anachronistic sickness as did the costumes and props.
Also, the dragon in the beginning could have received a much better treatment. I know people who do graphics for themselves, for their own home-run website, who do better graphics than the CGI we were presented in the beginning of this flick. When you slow it down and watch it frame by frame, they lack definition and character as they do when just watching it normally.
Half way through the movie, however, these dragons take on a whole new dimension and are given the treatment they deserved. This went a long way into redeeming this film, although the chunky direction and badly timed delivery still manages to drag down what (when given proper attention) is a really well written, creative, and "A" movie worthy screenplay/teleplay. Someone should actually do this for the Big screen, using the same script. This could have been SO much more than this crappy little television movie.
How sad that they couldn't have acquired better talent to portray this work. It's a real shame to have to repeat the dialog to yourself in your mind to get the inflections and wit behind it. And the voices? Were those dubbed or what? They didn't seem to match up to the moving lips. It was like watching a bad 1970's Kung Fu Theater feature. Of course, that came and went as the movie progressed. The score was actually quite good and many times was the only things carrying the movie through the horrible dry deliveries and really bad acting.
Alas! It wasn't enough.
But let's work with what we do have.
We have "The Lament." John, oh JOHN! What are you DOING? Jackson cast actors who needed a big break or a fresh start, and as soon as LotR is over, THIS is what you go back to?! You're wasting yourself and your talents on crap like this!
We have "The Jester-Dressed Far Eastern Dragon Slayer." He chops. He kicks; he gives you true Chinese philosophical wisdoms, and all the while, he never gets a wrinkle in his acetate jester shirt. Not even when wearing his hard leather armor at the dinner table.
We have "Lil Miss You Could Have Knocked" who rubs herself over the heated water barrel and hides her already hidden breasts instead of her nether-regions which AREN'T covered. Way to be coy and discreet, girl. 4 Real. I mean, she's leaning into that barrel, giving it a look that definitely says, "I hate these medieval movies! Where is the SPIN cycle on this thing?!"
We have "Mr. I've Never Heard of a Hairbrush or a BONE to Brush My Hair" Huntsman who looks as if he is wearing a very bad wig, and if he's not, he should watch out for that family of spiders who have obviously nested in his hair.
And we have some good-looking dragon's fire, dragon sequences and after the first few minutes' hesitation, dragons that they weren't afraid to let you see in nice, stunning detail. Kudos to the effects people (those who gave you Python) for the stunning work.
Why all this for some Made For TV (which means "Not Fit For The Big Screen") Crap-Fest? Because of what it COULD have been. This screen play and the dialog found therein, is witty and wonderful. It was just very poorly demonstrated by the severe lack of talent in the direction and in the portrayals.
It rates a 7.8/10 on the "B" scale from...
the Fiend :.
The problems with it included the horrible delivery of said great dialog; the casting was extremely uneven which made for low charisma between the
characters and the timing of the whole production was a bit off. The armor and costuming were too new and stole from the finished product the opportunity to lend some air of authenticity to the era. The crown worn by Wednesbury was
obviously modern designed, manufactured and the jewels were of obvious
plastic and appeared to have been molded onto the "paper/foil" crown. It was sickening. The structures and sets suffered the same anachronistic sickness as did the costumes and props.
Also, the dragon in the beginning could have received a much better treatment. I know people who do graphics for themselves, for their own home-run website, who do better graphics than the CGI we were presented in the beginning of this flick. When you slow it down and watch it frame by frame, they lack definition and character as they do when just watching it normally.
Half way through the movie, however, these dragons take on a whole new dimension and are given the treatment they deserved. This went a long way into redeeming this film, although the chunky direction and badly timed delivery still manages to drag down what (when given proper attention) is a really well written, creative, and "A" movie worthy screenplay/teleplay. Someone should actually do this for the Big screen, using the same script. This could have been SO much more than this crappy little television movie.
How sad that they couldn't have acquired better talent to portray this work. It's a real shame to have to repeat the dialog to yourself in your mind to get the inflections and wit behind it. And the voices? Were those dubbed or what? They didn't seem to match up to the moving lips. It was like watching a bad 1970's Kung Fu Theater feature. Of course, that came and went as the movie progressed. The score was actually quite good and many times was the only things carrying the movie through the horrible dry deliveries and really bad acting.
Alas! It wasn't enough.
But let's work with what we do have.
We have "The Lament." John, oh JOHN! What are you DOING? Jackson cast actors who needed a big break or a fresh start, and as soon as LotR is over, THIS is what you go back to?! You're wasting yourself and your talents on crap like this!
We have "The Jester-Dressed Far Eastern Dragon Slayer." He chops. He kicks; he gives you true Chinese philosophical wisdoms, and all the while, he never gets a wrinkle in his acetate jester shirt. Not even when wearing his hard leather armor at the dinner table.
We have "Lil Miss You Could Have Knocked" who rubs herself over the heated water barrel and hides her already hidden breasts instead of her nether-regions which AREN'T covered. Way to be coy and discreet, girl. 4 Real. I mean, she's leaning into that barrel, giving it a look that definitely says, "I hate these medieval movies! Where is the SPIN cycle on this thing?!"
We have "Mr. I've Never Heard of a Hairbrush or a BONE to Brush My Hair" Huntsman who looks as if he is wearing a very bad wig, and if he's not, he should watch out for that family of spiders who have obviously nested in his hair.
And we have some good-looking dragon's fire, dragon sequences and after the first few minutes' hesitation, dragons that they weren't afraid to let you see in nice, stunning detail. Kudos to the effects people (those who gave you Python) for the stunning work.
Why all this for some Made For TV (which means "Not Fit For The Big Screen") Crap-Fest? Because of what it COULD have been. This screen play and the dialog found therein, is witty and wonderful. It was just very poorly demonstrated by the severe lack of talent in the direction and in the portrayals.
It rates a 7.8/10 on the "B" scale from...
the Fiend :.