Frankenstein (2004 TV Movie)
5/10
Mildly amusing retelling
10 October 2004
In a dark New Orleans atmosphere, witty detectives Parker Posey (Carson) and Adam Goldberg are hunting a killer who rips organs from the victims. Their investigation starts in the public library where a security guard has had his heart ripped out. The investigation leads Carson down a grim road where she learns that the victims are all abnormal creations of Dr. Victor Helios, an uber-creepy doctor with a penchant for "perfection."

Evidently, Helios improved on the physical stamina and endurance of humans (his creations can survive great falls, have bigger hearts, and more calcium in the bones making them "cement-like"). However, Helios fails to perfect the mental stability of these persons. It turns out, nearly half the people we meet are his "children."

As we learn just how crazy everyone is and as one particularly charitable Helios-man throws Carson clue after clue, we find out who the killer is and spend 30 minutes chasing him around. In the meanwhile, Helios drowns the wife he created (an inexplicable method for a physician - one can only presume demonstrating the depth of his insanity) -- only to reinvigorate her with new life and a new personality. The big climax of the film is when the Helios-man-serial-killer faces off with the Helios-man-clue-giver. Of course, the latter wins.

The film scores well on visuals, displaying much of the sculpture, old mansions, and architecture for which New Orleans is known for. It also has the usual good performances by Goldberg and Posey. Unfortunately, everyone else simply acts overtly spooky with little personality beyond general creepiness. For horror movie fans, this will disappoint. Even more damning, the film has a cliff-hanger ending leaving huge room for a sequel - but why?

5/10
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