Dead Birds (2004)
3/10
Much to do about a truly horrible movie!
20 April 2005
Warning: Spoilers
First off, the title DEAD BIRDS has no context within the story whatsoever, except for a close-up of one dead bird. Genius!

I do not know how to explain the overly kind and blushing reviews for this film other than to question if they were crew generated. It is difficult for me to believe that audience expectations have dropped to such an abysmal level. DEAD BIRDS though having had some apparent care taken in its production, lacks drama, is virtually plot less and not clever at all. An amateur story at best, had DEAD BIRDS been shot on digital video (for say, FULL MOON STUDIOS) I think hit squads would have said it was absolute garbage. I guess people are mesmerized by the fact that it was shot on film. Which leads me to question how this film even got made ... much less, at a budget that I believe was two million dollars? How did this movie get distributed by a major player?

An hour into the film and things are just meandering along. Yeah, it's got your standard spooky music, spooky lighting and a thunderstorm but it is missing any real narrative or story structure. The characters are cardboard and uninteresting with no character development and their actions are consistently illogical. Strange, supernatural things happen in the story but, for much of the film, there is no suspense because there is no reason (or even a foreshadowing of a reason) given as to what caused these thing. Sure, it's got a weird, foreboding house but is that enough? DEAD BIRDS comes across as a uninspired, compilation of scenes that the fan boy writer lifted from legitimate scary movies. Worse, when the reason "why" is finally revealed ... nobody cares. The surprise, twist ending that follows is just as pointless. Give me EVIL DEAD any day!

Another beef of mine. DEAD BIRDS is a very gory, rated "R" film and the director even asks (in the DVD "Making of" ) that the FX people actually ADD exposed genitals to the main monster's body. Yet, during a love scene, it is apparent that production could not convince the plain-looking actress to show anything but her naked back. In an "R" rated film with a love scene, either deliver, at least, some of the goods or pass on the love scene altogether. In the afterglow of the love scene she's wrapped up so tight in the bed sheet that she could be a mummy. Network TV has hotter love scenes than DEAD BIRDS.

Save your time and money and just watch a re-run of any TWILIGHT ZONE episode ... you know, back when writers knew what they were doing.
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