Story: Where? Oh wait, if you look very closely there is something resembling a story in there, although I'm sure I don't understand it. Something about Hercules, and an evil queen, and some really not intimidating rock creatures, and that guy, and that guy over there, and some other guy. I don't know. 0 points.
Presentation: Well, let's see. There's the fifteen minute sandstorm scene. I haven't actually timed it, but it's infamously long. Then there's the many other scenes of people walking, or standing, or sitting. How much film can a director waste and still make a movie? Here's your answer. 0 points.
Performance: Strangely, not as bad as it should be, considering the rest of the movie's lack of effort. Far from convincing, the actors are still at least as good as every other Italian movie I've seen. So, given the origin and context, I'll be liberal. 1 point.
Overall: I personally got a lot of enjoyment from this movie, but that probably calls my taste into question. If you and a friend need a movie to make fun of for a while, or even just a really really really long sandstorm scene, this movie's perfect. It's potentially entertaining, so one last point. Total, 2 stars.
Presentation: Well, let's see. There's the fifteen minute sandstorm scene. I haven't actually timed it, but it's infamously long. Then there's the many other scenes of people walking, or standing, or sitting. How much film can a director waste and still make a movie? Here's your answer. 0 points.
Performance: Strangely, not as bad as it should be, considering the rest of the movie's lack of effort. Far from convincing, the actors are still at least as good as every other Italian movie I've seen. So, given the origin and context, I'll be liberal. 1 point.
Overall: I personally got a lot of enjoyment from this movie, but that probably calls my taste into question. If you and a friend need a movie to make fun of for a while, or even just a really really really long sandstorm scene, this movie's perfect. It's potentially entertaining, so one last point. Total, 2 stars.