Review of Chelsea Walls

This quite possibly is the most boring picture I have every seen, and, believe me, at my age (just a a bit younger than God) I've seen a lot of boring movies. And such a waste, too. A lot of thought--perhaps too much thought--and talent went into making this picture. Such a waste, the most notable being Natasha Richardson. Were I not in love with my wife, I would be in love with Natasha Richardson, gazing into her lovely eyes and watching the feelings and emotions flow across her exquisite face for all eternity. But I never was able to figure just what she was supposed to be in the story--something to do with poor old beat up Kris, I think. In fact, I was so bored I fell asleep before the opening titles, etc., were completed, and was having the most wonderful snooze while the voices and background sounds droned on, creating in my dozing mind the impression that something was really happening. Which impelled me to wake up and scroll back through the disk, looking for the point when I had passed out, back and forth, back some more, back, back again, until, lo, here come the openers. Well, this time I stayed away, determined that I wouldn't miss a single word, a single scene or shot. Alas. I should have stood asleep the first time.