Short version: Imagine Max Payne 2's "Lords and Ladies" was about lesbian vampires. That's what you get.
Long version for those unfortunate enough to not get an immediate (and precise) image of what the movie is like: I'm judging the movie by "bad movie standards". The plot is obviously a horrid non-sequetir (there are 4 speaking characters out of approx 15 that would have absolutely no place in the movie if it had any sense of narrative structure). The acting is terrible (this coming from someone who finds Julie Strain a perfectly fine actress) and is in no way helped by the (the world lame doesn't even begin to cover it) pompous yet sincere dialog: "Dearest brother, our hour is at hand!". There were moments where I simply had to do something else while shutting my ears as the embarrassingly jarring dialog rolled by.
Also, there are at least 5 minutes of an bald monk glaring and pointing at the camera. "Italian horror legend" indeed.
On the positive side (and this is the only part that should matter for those who have the foresight the watch the movie with a finger right above the fast-forward button) the lesbian scenes are pretty neat and have a bit of "raw vampiric sensuality". Glori-Anne Gilbert never looked better, with or without clothes, the girls are all (at the very least) quite attractive, the lighting is decent and the girls appear to be slightly more into it/ ready to touch each other than in your average softcore flick. Granted, that's not much, but...
The soundtrack is fairly interesting, as well. Probably not everyone's thing, but definitely semi-unique. It's just a shame it doesn't have better scenes/movie to accompany.
Long version for those unfortunate enough to not get an immediate (and precise) image of what the movie is like: I'm judging the movie by "bad movie standards". The plot is obviously a horrid non-sequetir (there are 4 speaking characters out of approx 15 that would have absolutely no place in the movie if it had any sense of narrative structure). The acting is terrible (this coming from someone who finds Julie Strain a perfectly fine actress) and is in no way helped by the (the world lame doesn't even begin to cover it) pompous yet sincere dialog: "Dearest brother, our hour is at hand!". There were moments where I simply had to do something else while shutting my ears as the embarrassingly jarring dialog rolled by.
Also, there are at least 5 minutes of an bald monk glaring and pointing at the camera. "Italian horror legend" indeed.
On the positive side (and this is the only part that should matter for those who have the foresight the watch the movie with a finger right above the fast-forward button) the lesbian scenes are pretty neat and have a bit of "raw vampiric sensuality". Glori-Anne Gilbert never looked better, with or without clothes, the girls are all (at the very least) quite attractive, the lighting is decent and the girls appear to be slightly more into it/ ready to touch each other than in your average softcore flick. Granted, that's not much, but...
The soundtrack is fairly interesting, as well. Probably not everyone's thing, but definitely semi-unique. It's just a shame it doesn't have better scenes/movie to accompany.