2/10
Beastly
23 November 2005
Warning: Spoilers
The ridiculous looking creature from the NIGHT OF THE DEMON makes his return as a shaggy sheepdog thing in the Asylum's pseudo-werewolf story, The Beast of Bray Road.

The ruination of the horror genre continues in this latest offering from the Asylum. Everything that you've come to expect from the Asylum is here. Poor acting, tired and pathetic storyline, a complete lack of talent in everyone involved. I wish I could say I was surprised by the shoddy production of the movie, but I knew I was in trouble as soon as I saw the Asylum logo.

In fact, I couldn't even get this stupid movie to play all the way through on my DVD player. Around chapter 11, the whole thing degenerated into a bunch of green pixels. I felt like I was watching THE MATRIX with a really bad audio track. I took the disc out and cleaned it, but whoever the Asylum is getting to author their DVDs is obviously doing it on their home computer. I should probably be thanking them for almost saving me from another dismal flop from this horrible production company.

After chapter skipping and searching several times, I did finally get to see the whole movie. Let me break it down for you, so you won't have to go through this excruciating experience. This is basically the story of a local Sheriff who's trying to save his small town from a werewolf. He teams up with a Cryptozoology professor and a local hunter to go find the thing. It's really just a cruddy remake of that old movie with Corey Haim, SILVER BULLET. They even stole some shots, doing a montage of the hunters as they melt down silver and make bullets for their machine guns. The only difference is that the final reveal in this one is that the werewolf is the local bartender that our Sheriff has fallen in love with.

If you are a fan of werewolf movies, you should stay as far away from this piece of dung as possible. It might sully your love of lycanthropy. It really is a beastly movie.
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