O.M.F.G. this movie sits about 5 steps below the definition of Cinema Cheese... Where "B" movies reign, this is find a niche in the "C" category.. Franco Columbu should have stuck to the role of being the legendary bodybuilder who is aging well and working as a Chiropractor in California.. Instead, he trys his hand at producing & starring as lead role in a movie so awful i would have more readily chewed a handful of broken glass than watch from beginning to end..
The marketed plot of the movie is the following: "An Elite Delta Force Team is assigned to thwart a Chemical Weapons Terrorist plot, in the process they are trapped inside an Ancient cave and have to fight their way out using all their skills as a Special Forces unit, against the incredible supernatural evil of awakened spirits of Warrior Guardians" Sounds fargging good right??, the picture of the Skeleton's in armor on the DVD box set the hook in me and i splurged for the purchase...
Aight, lets break it down... There are no damn Skeletons in the movie at all, not a one... Now you think thats bad, there is NO battle between Delta Force and anything supernatural.. In fact, the "Ancient Warriors" is a 7 second scene of six Sardinian young men wearing garb with spears in hand, they step out from the wall from which they were previously superimposed, rocks falls killing Richard Lynch's character, then then back step into the cave wall again & disappear... Don't believe me? you haven't seen anything yet... There is a Baldwin in the movie, yes a real live Baldwin, a "DANIEL Baldwin" i may add, which was probably the lowest priced bid in the Baldwinian Empire.. Baldwin plays the part of a Delta Force Captain who is so out of shape that he could've been taken out by a 90 pound Polish Downs syndrome patient in hand-to-hand combat. In fact the entire "Delta Force" unit in the movie looks about as disciplined as the Guatemalan National Guard. Franco Columbu's role of the lead action character is beyond ridiculous, whilst mastering the double pistol squat run while flailing his hands, his head facing the ground as not to actually see his intended targets, there is a degree of skill required to such buffoonery. The fact that he seems to be completely unhittable by any rounds while in this mode is even more curiously amusing. Occasionally the pistols disappear in one frame and the next he is firing an Uzi, with as much enthusiasm as a stoned teenager playing "operation wolf" on an arcade.. Baldwin gets, NO-KILLS in the whole movie, in fact he is so far on the back burner it makes you wonder why he was even included in the film?.. Most of the time he plays a pathetic combination of "faceman" from the A-Team & a Pimp-Daddy lying on a lawn chair being pawed by adoring busty women giving him manicures. Richard Lynch's character is 80% coughing up phlegm & blood from some un-named disease, and then the other 20% wishing he was in a Chuck Norris flick.. The whole beach Delta Force training scene centered around the buttock region of the token T&A member of the squad, that and assorted elementary school caliber obstacles for the "Elite" Combat Team to negotiate. The action sequences are so preposterous that my eyeballs still ache from absorbing this audio visual toxin.. I love the scene where 3 guys running up with flashlights sends the Squad into a blind panicked retreat off of an 80 foot cliff.. Oh i forgot they were simultaneous under attack by a tin helicopter that obviously encompassed the part of the film budget that the lesser Balwinite did not yet absorb. Nothing, i mean nothing in this film had even a shadow of a basis in reality or the tactical functions of an actual Special OP's team.. Even the terrorists we more organized whenever they were not either mining, searching for the holy grail, or attempting to thwart the mad skills of Franco Columbu's double pistol dwarf walk (I swear he cut loose at least a few pasta farts in these sequences).. The acting as a whole is shallower than THAT ocean on the moon. When watching this movie, if you DO happen to have about an hour and a half of time which can either be spent cleaning a kitty litter box one grain at a time or watching this consider the latter. In any case spare the popcorn & fill a few shot glasses with Pepito-bismol and keep them on standby, your gonna need em'.
The marketed plot of the movie is the following: "An Elite Delta Force Team is assigned to thwart a Chemical Weapons Terrorist plot, in the process they are trapped inside an Ancient cave and have to fight their way out using all their skills as a Special Forces unit, against the incredible supernatural evil of awakened spirits of Warrior Guardians" Sounds fargging good right??, the picture of the Skeleton's in armor on the DVD box set the hook in me and i splurged for the purchase...
Aight, lets break it down... There are no damn Skeletons in the movie at all, not a one... Now you think thats bad, there is NO battle between Delta Force and anything supernatural.. In fact, the "Ancient Warriors" is a 7 second scene of six Sardinian young men wearing garb with spears in hand, they step out from the wall from which they were previously superimposed, rocks falls killing Richard Lynch's character, then then back step into the cave wall again & disappear... Don't believe me? you haven't seen anything yet... There is a Baldwin in the movie, yes a real live Baldwin, a "DANIEL Baldwin" i may add, which was probably the lowest priced bid in the Baldwinian Empire.. Baldwin plays the part of a Delta Force Captain who is so out of shape that he could've been taken out by a 90 pound Polish Downs syndrome patient in hand-to-hand combat. In fact the entire "Delta Force" unit in the movie looks about as disciplined as the Guatemalan National Guard. Franco Columbu's role of the lead action character is beyond ridiculous, whilst mastering the double pistol squat run while flailing his hands, his head facing the ground as not to actually see his intended targets, there is a degree of skill required to such buffoonery. The fact that he seems to be completely unhittable by any rounds while in this mode is even more curiously amusing. Occasionally the pistols disappear in one frame and the next he is firing an Uzi, with as much enthusiasm as a stoned teenager playing "operation wolf" on an arcade.. Baldwin gets, NO-KILLS in the whole movie, in fact he is so far on the back burner it makes you wonder why he was even included in the film?.. Most of the time he plays a pathetic combination of "faceman" from the A-Team & a Pimp-Daddy lying on a lawn chair being pawed by adoring busty women giving him manicures. Richard Lynch's character is 80% coughing up phlegm & blood from some un-named disease, and then the other 20% wishing he was in a Chuck Norris flick.. The whole beach Delta Force training scene centered around the buttock region of the token T&A member of the squad, that and assorted elementary school caliber obstacles for the "Elite" Combat Team to negotiate. The action sequences are so preposterous that my eyeballs still ache from absorbing this audio visual toxin.. I love the scene where 3 guys running up with flashlights sends the Squad into a blind panicked retreat off of an 80 foot cliff.. Oh i forgot they were simultaneous under attack by a tin helicopter that obviously encompassed the part of the film budget that the lesser Balwinite did not yet absorb. Nothing, i mean nothing in this film had even a shadow of a basis in reality or the tactical functions of an actual Special OP's team.. Even the terrorists we more organized whenever they were not either mining, searching for the holy grail, or attempting to thwart the mad skills of Franco Columbu's double pistol dwarf walk (I swear he cut loose at least a few pasta farts in these sequences).. The acting as a whole is shallower than THAT ocean on the moon. When watching this movie, if you DO happen to have about an hour and a half of time which can either be spent cleaning a kitty litter box one grain at a time or watching this consider the latter. In any case spare the popcorn & fill a few shot glasses with Pepito-bismol and keep them on standby, your gonna need em'.